Is it a red flag if girlfriend keeps pictures of her exes?

Question

Just found out my girlfriend of 1 1/2 years still has pictures of her exes in her photos. Is it unreasonable to find this weird or is this normal? I don’t have photos of any of my past relationships or romantic interests. Plus some of these men were abusive towards her. She claims they are memories in her life… it makes me uncomfortable.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Girls that hold onto to their exes like that pretty much have deep feelings for their ex , like they were this amazing person , Most Girls’ tend to have a. lot more emotional connection to a guy , over a guy having emotional connection with a girl , So most girl’s hold on to their exes like they were this prize possession , if your girlfriend has a hard time letting go of those pictures or doesn’t throw them away or burn them? then that’s a red flag that she doesn’t truly value you like she valued her ex , And honestly that’s something to reconsider , if a girl tells me to get rid of pictures of my exes I wouldn’t hesitate to do so , but in most cases I already have them deleted before entering onto a Néw relationship out of respect for her , but if you tell a girl to do the same? and she makes excuses not to do so , then you have every right to reconsider that relationship , The only reason I say this , is because I had ex girlfriends that tried to have sex with me again , while they were already in a new relationship with someone else , Showing up at my doorstep throwing themselves at me wanting to fuck , Not going to lie, I did bang a couple of them, but i wanted nothing more from them after that. So just have a talk with your girlfriend and tell her you feel it’s disrespectful that she has pics of her ex still and if she gets mad and defensive and says you are being insecure , Kick her to the curb where she belongs because she doesn’t know what being respectful is , Girls like that are clearly Selfish whites that only see things their way , those type of girls have a tendency of being very vulnerable when it comes to being hit on by another guy or if she runs into her ex again that she has emotional feelings for , she will pretty much spread her legs for him if he wants her , she isn’t going to consider you if that happens. Why I am so against girls that hold on to their exes , it’s disrespectful period. No one should pursue a new relationship with anyone until they are clearly over their ex period. Because on a sense all you are to them is a convenience they truly don’t value you period. Don’t demand your girlfriend to get rid of those pictures , just tell her you feel it’s disrespectful and walk away , let her process what’s more important to her , if she doesn’t get rid of those pics within a day or 2 kick her to the curb where she belongs

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Depends on what she does with them. Did she save them in a discreet folder somewhere? Or they still front and center on social media? What’s going on in the picture? Are they embracing (or worse) or were they participating in a memorable event? How did you find out about these pics anyway?

There are specific special memories that my ex was involved that I can look back on fondly and not have it be just about her. For example I won a major athletic competition as an underdog many years ago. My ex supported me all the way through the grueling training and preparation. There is a picture of me with my arm around her holding my championship belt after I won. That was a golden memory and I will keep that pic. It wasn’t just about her.

But keeping other romance only pics are a different story. It can take people a while to decide to get rid of them. But they should ultimately get rid of them. Either than save them in a private folder where they don’t get noticed unless you intentionally go looking for them.

sheenagwapa · Accepted Answer

no memories are just memories. it's like reminiscing ylur high school and valuing them at the same time. valuing a person doesn't mean yoy love them romantically. my ex for instance i see him as family a distant relative or a friend. i don't wanna communicatw with him but i care about him. not everything is about romance. yoy cancare about the opposite sex without romance. my ex is that one person who were so patient and so good to me for many years unlike some relatives who i am for ed to mingle who keep insinuating that i'm i secure when there's nothinh to be insecure, eho humiliate me publicly

you know if you're someone who cannot defend me from people who shit on me i stead yoy want mw to mingle with them we have no business being with each other's life because i will just hate yoy. if you think you can manipulate control me yoy are so wronh. forgiveness is for thise people who are sorry. hamging out with snakes ate waste of time. yeah we commit sins we make mistakes but if i do not teust the petson then i don't. also i shouldn't be force to hang out with peoplw i don't wann hamg out because you famtasize them rigjt? because you are a womanizer who wanna fuck my entire family. i am looking for lovw but it seems you are already planning to shit on me so no thanka because if yoy teuly this isn't about feelings anymore it's a mayter of respect and truer that i am a good person

there's this character of Lilly in gossip girl she is married to her 4th husband but is in love with her bedtfriend. she would still hamg out with her bestfriend and flirt from time to time. her husband died still fighting for her it's still a love triangle when they're already married. be careful with these kind of people someone like Lilly is the worst perdon to be ina relationship with

xKayTea · Accepted Answer

I personally believe so, if they broke up recently and there's some loitering about that she forgot to remove, whatever, but if she has a whole album still full of pictures, I would take it as a redflag and ask her to remove them or explain why she has them.

Seems like she is still holding onto certain memories and possibly feelings.

It is also weird as you're supposed to move on, hence the term 'EX' so to still hold onto these photos is weird. I have been with my current partner over a year now, and recently found some pics of my ex in my phone (I have a lot of storage so they can be hard to locate) and felt weirded out and immediately removed them straight away once I found them, because I have no attachment to any of my exes whatsoever.

Paris13 · Answer

She is Right. Memories. Like I Keep. I have a Ring when I was 13 from My First Love. xxoo

Lliam · Answer

It's not necessarily a red flag at all, depending on what kinds of photos they are and how prominently they are displayed.

She had a life before you.

I have photos of exes. They are keepsakes; treasured memories of the past. I don't long for those girls. There is no way I would get back together with them. But I don't delete my life just because I'm with someone else.

What I think is a red flag is being jealous and expecting someone to delete photos of former girlfriends/boyfriends. That attitude displays lack of trust.

Mamaliv · Answer

I still have photos of my ex on my phone, we went on a lot of adventures together and there were some really memorable moments that I’ll always hold dear to my heart but I no longer have feelings for him and I have deleted a lot and the more that time goes on the more I get rid of. Our relationship was toxic and I have no desire of getting back together with him. I have gotten rid of any explicit photos and videos, I don’t think it’s right to hang on to any of those out of respect for him and any future relationships.

CaptainOverthink · Answer

Everyone is entitled to their past if that be pictures on their phone or in their head. It may be wise to put them away, but that's their choice alone.
Trust in your partner to know what's best for them. Mistrust only lead to more of that and ends with exactly the thing you're trying to avoid.

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

I've never deleted a picture of my past. It's not on display on the dresser, but it's still a timeline of where I've been. If she's keeping them in her nightstand with some KY and special friend then that's a little different or kissing them on the wall as she walks by every time... otherwise, no issue.

RingOfFire · Answer

Not a red flag. It isn't uncommon or strange that some people may want to keep mementos of their past, even their unfavorably remembered past, to remind them of what they have been through either good or bad. Keeping such things that relate to bad relationships provides a way to help you look back and see how much progress you have made since then. It is a way to give you a gratifying sense of accomplishment and growth.

FriendlyCanadianGuy · Answer

4 months into my relationship with my ex, she was sliding through photos and not too far into it was a photo with her last friends with benefits ass naked in her bed, dick out and everything.

She deleted it quickly but I saw lmao. She still had feelings for him because he rejected her. Constantly asked for us to all be friends. That's why she's my ex, huge red flag.

Peter_Penetrator · Answer

If you can predict that neither you nor your girlfriend will end the relationship and you intend on marrying her then I could see why she would need to.

But for her, even though they are broken up, her keeping pics of her ex could just be for sentimental reasons only. Why should she delete them for you?

She may decide to keep old pictures of you while dating her next boyfriend.

Lisia · Answer

No, it's weird... I wouldn't know why I would do it, only if I still have interest in them and want to see them sometimes. She should be over it by now.

Anonymous · Answer

honestly some people just don't delete pictures or forget they're there. no big deal.

but her comment about it, on the other hand, is a bit odd. sounds like she needs a therapist if she was abused by multiple men. clearly they still have some hold over her.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Photos are memories, It is normal to want to keep them.

HelpfulWoman · Answer

Again, whats really fucking weird is people who don't get that past relationships aren't just wiped away when the relationship ends. photos aren't a big deal.

rienna888 · Answer

No I don’t think so. Sometimes you just wanna look back and be happy you let go of that crap, if you know what I mean

exitseven · Answer

It is a red flag. She still has one foot in the old relationship.

Anemone978 · Answer

I can't say it is a red flag or not.. but i defo wouldn't want a guy who had pictures of his ex's in his phone..

Lady_Heart · Answer

I wouldn't keep an ex picture unless he gave me his kidney maybe. So it is a red flag. He is an ex for a reason

Alex-Snow · Answer

She may just want some memories because I am assuming she had some fun in those relationships. Are they sex pics or nudes or more normal pics?

jennaevans17 · Answer

not a red flag. I keep a plethora of pics of my exes just because i’m too lazy to delete and i like to look back and be like damn i upgraded

Starrrboy · Answer

"Plus some of these men were abusive towards her "... huge red flag!

Staximus · Answer

I don't know why somebody would want to remind themselves of abusive shit bags from their past. Tell her it's time to move on from her past.

Imsmurter1 · Answer

I would judge by how many there are and how he’s featured in those photos.

Anonymous · Answer

That and the fact that she had abusive exes. Both are red flags man.

Anonymous · Answer

I hide the pictures of my exes. I keep them “somewhere” but I’m not deleting them. Only because they take me back in time.

worldscolide · Answer

Yeah it's a huge red flag. It strongly suggests she's not over him and is likely to go back to him.

DiegoO · Answer

Huge red flag. I can't imagine myself still having those, while dating, or worst: in an all official relationship.

JesseP1nk · Answer

Yes, its a red flag. If she gonna moan about it. Ask her how she feel if her boyfriend would keep ex picture (including nudes)

TomMarks · Answer

It’s a sign that they aren’t over the ex and may likely take them back easily if they tried.

In_Trance · Answer

Yes it is

Quigly · Answer

You can't really heal from past wounds if you keep pictures of them around.

strateguy632 · Answer

not a red flag. no worries

ShesRad80 · Answer

she's not over him it would tell me

Iron_Man · Answer

No, it’s part of her past

thatcreepingchickkk · Answer

I think it’s a bit odd….

annabananna · Answer

I don’t think it’s a big deal or red flag.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

She's not yours, it's just your turn.

thatbobguy500 · Answer

I move them else where

jimmy2 · Answer

For sure

Is it a red flag if girlfriend keeps pictures of her exes?

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