Nearly half his family died in an earthquake. Could he be sincere about a second chance?

[DermalPunch]

Very long story short...

Got involved with a guy in my area. Everything was going fine then he pulled the most disrespectful, manipulative BS ever , 6 months ago, which resulted in me going NC and ignoring all his attempts at reconciliation.

He was breadcrumbing me so I blocked him.

An earthquake hit the country we're in. I wasn't going to reach out but when I saw the death toll climbing in his hometown, I felt it was best to reach out.

He lost 7 family members and their house is destroyed.

So after I gave my condolences and he shared some photos he launched right into the following.

• He faked the breakup (fake dumped me for another woman. It wasn't true) to see how I would react (idiot)
• He regrets everything and will never do it again
• Begged for forgiveness
• Loves me so much
• Thinks about me all the time
• Wants to be with me for good
• Needs to see me and so on

I had chewed him out plenty and he explained that at the time he pulled the initial BS his head wasn't right and he was being an idiot.

He seems to have matured somewhat and is more serious. I don't know if the earthquake put somethings into perspective for him or the fact that I cut him off instantly and didn't waffle. Had the earthquake not happened I wasn't going to reach out.

I've already decided I'd like to give him another shot because we do click. Henis more immature than malicious. Some advice on how to proceed. Thanks in advance ✌🏾.

[Andres77]

Don’t. He needs to be mature on his own, and consistent for a while. If he’s sincere about you then he won’t be looking to hookup with anyone else while you make him wait. He has to earn you. I’d recommend against a second chance when he’s really using pity to coerce you and hasn’t matured at all. Plus, you just called him an idiot because you see through his current lies. If you take him back without any proof of maturity and change…what does that make you? I don’t mean it as an insult. His behavior has not changed. And you’re ready to let him in already.

Don’t.

[DermalPunch]

No that was six months ago

[Andres77]

Earthquake was two weeks ago, right?

[DermalPunch]

Yes, it was six months since we spoke. He had been trying to talk to me but isn't the best talker and finally came. out with all that. He was trying to avoid saying all those things and wanted Mr to accept his implicit admission of those things but I wanted him to verbalize and admit that stuff. He manned up and did it. No stonewalling (because we had had an argument once when we first dated) no mind games. Just an open book.

[Constatine]

What... You do? Of you was a guy I would have called you an idiot. 😄 Why...

You said it your self... Disrespect, tasteless humor in form of a fake breakup...

You should kick his non-sorry ass because I believe he is not sorry at all... People like that don't no the meaning of that word..

[DermalPunch]

He didn't do it as a joke. He was testing my reaction. Some men do this. I know he regretted it instantly and always suspected it was BS. But, I made him stew in his regret for 6 months.

[Constatine]

Oh sorry i though i read somewhere he did it as a joke. Well if he wanted to test you... he is an even bigger idiot then i though 😳 . Still i think your better of without him.

[DermalPunch]

He admitted he was an idiot. Also, the way things were is that I could see him on the street from where he couldn't see me and Ibknow he realized he was a dumb ass. But I still made him sweat. The only reason is because I know that he really does like me a lot. Also, he's 20 so he is an ass just because of his age.

[YesterdaysChild]

Not everybody gets second chances. I hope he makes good use of it.

[DermalPunch]

Any advice?

[YesterdaysChild]

Go with your intuition/gut, not your heart. Intuition is more reliable than your heart sometimes.

[DermalPunch]

True.

[exitseven]

Seeing death up close can give you a new perspective on life. Just be careful if you really do want to give him a second chance. He really pulled some shady stuff and people only change when they really want to.

[DermalPunch]

Very shady. It's risky. It was really tough not caving but I did it. I don't want to just be in a breakup makeup situation.

How to make sure he doesn't get too comfortable without feeling like a jail warden?

[catarecute]

i wouldn't.

[OddBeMe]

Are you sure he didn't murder his family?

[DermalPunch]

Seriously stupid comment. His family was crushed in their house while sleeping.

[Anonymous]

I don't see why not.

[DermalPunch]

He is in your age range. Any tips on how to proceed but keep things in check?

[Opinion Owner]

Proceed cautiously.

[DermalPunch]

Ok. I am.