It's my birthday today. I got divorced my abusive husband a couple weeks ago. I have lost touch with friends and acquaintance in the last year. ( When I started dating my narcissist boyfriend kow ex husband).
My family members are dealing with their own personal shit. I feel worthless when I'm home from work. Work is the only time I can feel less pathetic.
I feel all sorts of messed up since I've separated from him. Sometimes I think if it's better to have a partner who's verbally and emotionally abusive and threatens physical violence than be a 29 year old divorcee. At least he'd show love to me when he was in the mood of joy. My family loves me too. But I don't love myself anymore.
In my 4 months of marriage I've seen cruelty I've never experienced before. I'm losing my grip.
It's like the clock turned 12 tonight and suddenly a rush of emptiness engulfed me.