Can someone tell me if this is normal as I haven’t been in a relationship in a healthy relationship for SO long?

[Anonymous]

So I met up with one of my past lovers as we are on good terms and he came over we cuddled and chilled it was kind of last minute and he told me he’s working at 7am so he left last night around 10:30pm I haven’t spoken to him since we are going to meet up today definitely later on as we both agreed. He’s a rubbish at texting but wouldn’t it be nice if he messaged me? And yes you can say why don’t I message because I always message it would be nice to receive something back but because he calls me and stuff I’m just thinking then it’s fine I shouldn’t be worrying? As stupid as it sounds i don’t even know what’s normal and what’s not in a relationship anymore

[OlderAndWiser]

How long ago did you break up, why did you break up, and who initiated the break up?

[Asker]

We broke up because of little stupid arguments like one of the reasons he’s a shit at texting and he don’t put effort in but every time he says he will change it’s still the same I haven’t received no message? For real my heart can’t take this stuff I rather be dead lol

[OlderAndWiser]

So you are going back for another round of the same old stuff instead of getting out there to meet someone new? Are you feeling desperate?

[Asker]

No tbh I just love him I don’t even know why

[OlderAndWiser]

A good long term relationship requires lust. love, trust, and respect. Do you feel all of those? Or do you just feel lust for him now?

[Asker]

Lust and trust definitely

[OlderAndWiser]

Good luck, but expect to have the same outcome the second time with him. That is by far the most likely result of a reunion.

[Anonymous]

You are overreacting and kind of stupid with the whole texting. Honestly it's better to just pick up the phone and call and talk than send a text that could potentially be taken the wrong way and arguments start because of it.

Phone calls Rock, texting sucks just my opinion

[Asker]

Thank you 💗

[Opinion Owner]

You're welcome. Sorry for calling you stupid. Although I do think getting upset over him not texting, remember he does pick up the phone to call you.

I think calling someone Is a sign of that person wanting to hear your voice and them wanting to have a real conversation with you. My ex was not really a texter, he always preferred calling me over texting. One thing I learnt was that if he did text me, he often wrote text that I didn't always understand or I miss interrupted and it had me constantly thinking the worse and accusing him of things he didn't do and it caused a lot of arguments. For me I have learnt phone calls are so much more better than texting

[Asker]

No no don’t be sorry!! He’s exactly like this too hates texting but then when he rings it’s like one phone call a day for me that isn’t enough? I would want more especially when you plan to be with someone

[Opinion Owner]

Set boundaries and make it known you need more communication from him. If he doesn't make more of an effort to call you than maybe this guy is not the guy for you

[Asker]

Thank you so much! I will try this and will let you know 💗

[boggboss]

Are u even in a relationship to be expecting to be treated that way?

[Asker]

Well he has been telling me he loves me and wants to be with me but weres the effort?

[boggboss]

Saying he loves u and wants to be with u shows u he is not with u already and is saying nice words it dont mean u are in a relationship lol

[Asker]

Well we are on the path to getting back together so do you think I am just over thinking and give it time?

[boggboss]

No I think he contacts u when he wants and he says pretty things to keep u intrested

[Asker]

Ok thanks so basically I’m stupid lol 😂 typing this whilst crying lol

[boggboss]

U allow him to treat u poorly whilst nothing changes because he says or promises sweet things whilst showing u no effort so yes unfortunately u are stupid for letting a guy treat u this way if he wanted to treat u better he would

[Asker]

Very true tbh I love him
And I have no one else to speak to this about so I have no support and keep it all bottled up

[boggboss]

Loving him won't make him treat u better it won't help your mental state and won't fix things if u have nobody to talk to find friends but letting him treat u like shit ain't gonna fit things

[Asker]

Very true! I agree thank you. So I think I will see him tonight talk about things see what he has to say

[boggboss]

Good luck hope things work out

[Asker]

Thanks x

[Wise4myage]

Sure, it would make you feel more wanted, and even if he is a bad at texting, its no excuse.

[Asker]

Exactly do you know what I mean especially when he’s telling he loves me this and that

[Asker]

But can’t drop at text