People seem to focus a lot of attention on creating wealth or beauty to attract a partner, yet that’s like focusing only on the buildup to the wedding and saying everything after that is irrelevant. Once you’ve been noticed, other aspects are necessary to keep a relationship new and alive. What do you prioritize developing to keep a relationship new and alive, and when comparing it to your focus on money or looks, what percentage of your focus goes toward maintenance and growth rather than acquisitional tools?
For me, I don’t prioritize looks very much.
Good hygiene and ordinary is enough in terms of looks.
Where my standards are very high, is when it comes to their heart and soul.
Good character, good virtue, healthy communication, emotional maturity, alignment of values, extreme loyalty and commitment, and the list goes on.
I really go above and beyond, pouring my heart and soul into the relationships that I’m in.
I love with my all and hold nothing back.
And I look for that same level of depth and intensity to be returned.
I’m a Bonnie and Clyde type of guy — ride or die.
For me, it’s all or nothing when it comes to love.
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I agree with the Marriage Box meme.
I think mutual regard, respect, honesty and trust are essential, along with good communication and a desire for your partner's joy, happiness and fulfillment.
I have had very good looking friends. When people saw us they assumed we were couples.
But we weren’t and would never be.
Not because they lacked money…
Nope, just because we wouldn’t get along romantically.
Something that made my ex fiancé different from all the men I’ve met was that:
His love to me was pure, he was gentle and caring to me in the sweetest way. He was patient and understanding, he was a great person and his mere existence in my life always pushed me to be a better person and a better woman.
So, I would say even if it seems so, looks and money aren’t always important to women.
As your username suggests , prioritizing care for each other's health , mind, body , feelings and your over all SO is the most necessary step. However its of no use if its one sided.
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Consistency and openness with oneself and me also. I like a person that does what they say they are going to do and also someone that is open about life in general.
Everyone has to develop a conscious relationship philosophy.
If you don't you are basically winging it.
Mine is simple. You build a joint vision together. Then you ask yourself who do we have to be to fit into this vision. From that point on you get on with changing your conditioning. You have organized meeting every week on progress and problems.
You have to understand self discipline to do the philosophy though. If you don't understand it on a deeper level than most it might be hard for you.
The point of it all is that you two are always on the same page and always in harmony with one another. Harmony doesn't mean you agree. It means you are an enemy. The second you and your partner become 2 sides... The game is lost. Exactly in that moment. It might not leads to a break up but you lost and if you keep losing you will do damage.
This is basic goal achievement. It's not some random, fancy philosophy.Mantinence and growth, fully! Value experiences together, openess in conversation without judgement/fear, lots of fun sex, trust, communication, sex, respect, sex, vulnerability, more sex, growth together and supporting each other, a lot more sex... I think that marriage is NOT the destination, and love isn't a prize. It is grown with your best friend doing this thing called life that is hard and challenging. Loving a person is a commitment that takes daily effort, patience, understanding, forgiveness, and sex. Probably lots of that, too!
1. Money doesn't draw my attention, and I don't use my money to draw a woman's attention, instead I hide my financial status to avoid gold digging, and no woman ever asked.
2. Value, growth, and acquisitional tools are not a relationship terms, this is a special kind of friendship, not a business.
3. New is not needed, familiar is needed, a spouse for me should be just like me mentally.
4. Marriage is definitely a beautiful box filled with all the things one longs for. If it's not filled with all of that, its the wrong box. Love is not learned, its instinctual, and it is not a give and take, love isn't about transactions at all, its much less logical than that. Love is the admiration and appreciation for that which brings you joy, it is something you do for a partner without thinking about it long enough to notice transactions.Doing things for each other, consistency, good communication.
Marriage takes a lot of work. You are no longer alone in the world and you would think that would be a good thing. It is also a big responsibility. Having somebody else's life to consider when making a decision was the biggest thing I had to get used to. My actions just did not effect mu but they also effected my wife and later my kids.
Good communication and caring for each other also matters
No idea.. we don't really put anything in to maintain the relationship and I already pretty much checked out.. I just keep the household running and he pays the bills.. but we are both hilarious so that keeps us from hating each other..
my ex was my top most priority. relationship has always been my top most priority but then i got dump despite everything due to poor communication but then when i communicate he doesn't talk he just hate and expect me to read his mind.
Honesty and definitely the ability to be able to tell her anything and everything that I think about and I ask for the same in return
Im unattractive effeminate insecure and lack personality and social skills relationships are a concept in my life that are separate from me. Its all business with me people dont like talking nor being near me. Women dont flirt or look at me if they have to interact its short and quick with an occasional insult
I'm always trying to learn how to use as many trades, such as painting and landscaping, electrical work, and many others, to make myself as useful and valuable as possible.
The ability to be responsible for yourself and draw/respect boundaries. Otherwise it can really turn things ugly.
nobody is saying everything afterwards is irrelevant but the first steps are the foundations of the relationship. the Halo Effect will ensure the personalities mesh well
Common interests, good communication, and great conflict resolution skills.
Being each others bestfriends and solving any problems
A caring relationship with your partner. Also romance.
You need common interests, hobbies, and passions.
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