My fiance and I are not in the best terms and I don't know what to do?

[Anonymous]

hey guys, my fiance and i have been together for 10 years. we are not in the best terms lately and it sucks. i want attention from him and i dont get any from him. he either is sleeping, working or with his friends and im stuck at home doing nothing. i just finished school yesterday so i start my clinicals on Monday so ill be pretty busy from then on. but it sucks. for a long while already he doesn’t call or text me anymore and i ask him why and he either says he doesn’t because i complain too much or he doesn’t see a reason to since my phone is always on silent. I don't know what to do. i know im very needy when it comes to him because one, i dont do anything through out my day and two i don’t hangout with friends. sadly i dont have any friends, the ones i did have do there own things, have kids and husbands so we barely hangout. when i do text them and i ask if they want to hangout they already have plans so I don't know. but yeah with my fiance I don't know what to do. i know i have an anxious attachment style and im very needy. if we do end things, which i see it might happen. I don't know what to do to gain independence, gain confidence and stop being so needy. please any advice on how to stop being this way would be appreciated. thank you in advance.

[Anonymous]

Well if you’ve been together for 10 years, chances are he’s not going to propose. I’ve seen some men do it after 20, but very slim chance. Your neediness may be what’s pushing him further away. He doesn’t sound interested in you at all anymore. I’m thinking he’s already on his way out. Who provides for the two of you? Him or you? If it’s you chances are he’s just using you right now for a place to stay. I’d say focus on getting your license. You’re going to school for nursing yes? If you’re going to be on your own I think you’re really going to need your license, so try to focus on that. Maybe start depending on him little by little. Not sure how much he really does. But if you slowly start doing all that on your own, yes it can be challenging but at least you can gradually ease into it while he still somewhat helps out around. As opposed to just ripping the carpet from under your feet like that now you have to fend for yourself all at once. I hope that makes sense.

[lightbulb27]

Normal female wanting time and attention… esp after 10yrs.
Somethings wrong that it went in so long and he’s avoiding. Your neediness normal but maybe extreme. I have lots of opinion. Going to have to talk and likely need outside help to sort out.

[Anonymous]

Hold your expectations from him and give it a break. Keep it aside. As you already know what's going to happen if you are going to complain or going to ask you would only get disappointed.

So for now keep it aside, and start living your life. Do what you enjoy doing make plans for yourself. Without having expectations like what if he needs you kind thoughts. I know it is tough to do but you have to.

Then see and analyse your situation from distance, does he making any efforts or not to include you in his plans. How he carry on his life.

If he does it's fine, or else your relationship is already dead. No shout no complaints nothing can help you or that situation.

[LazerBean]

Break up and work on yourself. Clearly the both of you have problems and there's no sense in being in a relationship.

[OlderAndWiser]

How long have you been engaged? It sounds like you and he have no children; is that right?

[Pyrofox]

10 years and no traction? o_O really? family issues? This sounds like a failing relationship and y'all haven't even started to get close to the alter.

[boggboss]

U sound like u need to learn to live life for yourself onto of sorting out the issues u guys have together

[Asker]

yes you’re right. i just don’t know how. and it’s so sad because im 32 years old :/

[boggboss]

Look to pick up some hobbies or clubs

[Asker]

i start my clinicals on Monday. 8am-5pm everyday so i don’t think ill have time to pick up a hobby

[BoopBoopBeep]

8 to 5 is a normal workday. The rest of us have hobbies, why does a basic workday preclude you from having any?

[love_conquers_lust]

You're needy but you're alone most of the day and keep your phone on silent? I don't understand why your lives are so hectic that they can't align. He's your fiance. What changed?

[cloud9vortex1234]

Your too dependent on your fiance. You need to find ways to make friends, and be happy being alone as well. Even having acquaintances to talk to throughout the day would be better then being overly attached to any one person.

[slatyb]

Is this fun? You can't marry him if this continues.

[RedInnocent68]

Stop being fiancés? Seriously, this should by idyllic , all over each other, can’t wait to get married time, or something’s wrong

[NewgodOmega]

I know what you will do
You will leave him coz that's what women does

[ProbablyClueless]

Just make an effort to go out and find friends.

[DextroShade]

Sounds like he takes you for granted, you can find a man who will value you more but he will have less going on in his life so choose wisely.

[Pterodon]

You sound like you have Borderline Personality Disorder

[Anonymous]

Honestly I don't think you're needy you just need attention and that every girl expect from her guy...

[Asker]

i don’t get any from him though. when i do call him he just stays quiet because i call to complain.

[Opinion Owner]

If you're not happy then no need to stay in relationship

[Asker]

i’m not and i know he’s not either. but I don't know if we are unhappy because i’m crave his attention too much or we are just not happy together.

[Opinion Owner]

It's just that you're not his priority anymore..
You deserve to be loved 😘

[Asker]

i always told him that i’m not his priority and he told me it’s not true.

[Opinion Owner]

Darling you have such a wonderful heart don't waste on person who don't deserve your heart.

[Asker]

i used to believe that i have a beautiful heart, but as the years gone by he always told me that im not and would say the most horrific things to me.

[Opinion Owner]

Aww such a sad to hear that...
Wish you're my girl so I don't let you complaint about anything you're such a sweetheart 😘

[Sabretooth]

Leave and go home and work on yourself in a comfortable setting.

[MaxUsefull]

10 years? I've seen this movie several times

[Drewtate]

Simplfy it to 16.

[In_Trance]

talk it through