My fiance and I are not in the best terms and I don't know what to do?

Question

hey guys, my fiance and i have been together for 10 years. we are not in the best terms lately and it sucks. i want attention from him and i dont get any from him. he either is sleeping, working or with his friends and im stuck at home doing nothing. i just finished school yesterday so i start my clinicals on Monday so ill be pretty busy from then on. but it sucks. for a long while already he doesn’t call or text me anymore and i ask him why and he either says he doesn’t because i complain too much or he doesn’t see a reason to since my phone is always on silent. I don't know what to do. i know im very needy when it comes to him because one, i dont do anything through out my day and two i don’t hangout with friends. sadly i dont have any friends, the ones i did have do there own things, have kids and husbands so we barely hangout. when i do text them and i ask if they want to hangout they already have plans so I don't know. but yeah with my fiance I don't know what to do. i know i have an anxious attachment style and im very needy. if we do end things, which i see it might happen. I don't know what to do to gain independence, gain confidence and stop being so needy. please any advice on how to stop being this way would be appreciated. thank you in advance.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Well if you’ve been together for 10 years, chances are he’s not going to propose. I’ve seen some men do it after 20, but very slim chance. Your neediness may be what’s pushing him further away. He doesn’t sound interested in you at all anymore. I’m thinking he’s already on his way out. Who provides for the two of you? Him or you? If it’s you chances are he’s just using you right now for a place to stay. I’d say focus on getting your license. You’re going to school for nursing yes? If you’re going to be on your own I think you’re really going to need your license, so try to focus on that. Maybe start depending on him little by little. Not sure how much he really does. But if you slowly start doing all that on your own, yes it can be challenging but at least you can gradually ease into it while he still somewhat helps out around. As opposed to just ripping the carpet from under your feet like that now you have to fend for yourself all at once. I hope that makes sense.

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

Normal female wanting time and attention… esp after 10yrs.
Somethings wrong that it went in so long and he’s avoiding. Your neediness normal but maybe extreme. I have lots of opinion. Going to have to talk and likely need outside help to sort out.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Hold your expectations from him and give it a break. Keep it aside. As you already know what's going to happen if you are going to complain or going to ask you would only get disappointed.

So for now keep it aside, and start living your life. Do what you enjoy doing make plans for yourself. Without having expectations like what if he needs you kind thoughts. I know it is tough to do but you have to.

Then see and analyse your situation from distance, does he making any efforts or not to include you in his plans. How he carry on his life.

If he does it's fine, or else your relationship is already dead. No shout no complaints nothing can help you or that situation.

LazerBean · Accepted Answer

Break up and work on yourself. Clearly the both of you have problems and there's no sense in being in a relationship.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

How long have you been engaged? It sounds like you and he have no children; is that right?

Pyrofox · Answer

10 years and no traction? o_O really? family issues? This sounds like a failing relationship and y'all haven't even started to get close to the alter.

boggboss · Answer

U sound like u need to learn to live life for yourself onto of sorting out the issues u guys have together

love_conquers_lust · Answer

You're needy but you're alone most of the day and keep your phone on silent? I don't understand why your lives are so hectic that they can't align. He's your fiance. What changed?

cloud9vortex1234 · Answer

Your too dependent on your fiance. You need to find ways to make friends, and be happy being alone as well. Even having acquaintances to talk to throughout the day would be better then being overly attached to any one person.

slatyb · Answer

Is this fun? You can't marry him if this continues.

RedInnocent68 · Answer

Stop being fiancés? Seriously, this should by idyllic , all over each other, can’t wait to get married time, or something’s wrong

NewgodOmega · Answer

I know what you will do  You will leave him coz that's what women does

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Just make an effort to go out and find friends.

DextroShade · Answer

Sounds like he takes you for granted, you can find a man who will value you more but he will have less going on in his life so choose wisely.

Pterodon · Answer

You sound like you have Borderline Personality Disorder

Anonymous · Answer

Honestly I don't think you're needy you just need attention and that every girl expect from her guy...

Sabretooth · Answer

Leave and go home and work on yourself in a comfortable setting.

MaxUsefull · Answer

10 years? I've seen this movie several times

Drewtate · Answer

Simplfy it to 16.

In_Trance · Answer

talk it through

My fiance and I are not in the best terms and I don't know what to do?

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My fiance has anxiety and I am not helping, what should I do?

My fiance and I are not in the best terms and I don't know what to do?

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My fiance has anxiety and I am not helping, what should I do?

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