Can stress lead to breakup?

[Anonymous]

So in the beginning of this summer, I started to date a girl who was one of my closest friends for the past 5 years. In the summer, we had an amazing time doing the things that you can only see in the movies. The chemistry was ideal. In the autumn, we both had to get back to our universities to study, and problems started to arise. Since she is studying medicine, I knew how hard it was, so I tried to do my best to support her. In the middle of October, she started to become more distant, and we spent less time together since she had a few exams coming up. It seemed normal to me since I know how important her studies are to her. Another week passed, but the situation became even worse. I started to get a bit nervous, and I asked what was going on. She told me that she doesn't know what is happening with her, and right now she does not want to think about relationships but wants to focus on her studies and career. I asked if she want to break up with me and she said yes. I know that she will have several very hard exams in the upcoming weeks, so the question is: is it possible that her decision to break up with me is related to the pressure and stress that she is facing right now, because of the upcoming exams? Should I text her after the exams?

[SueShe]

Yes, stress is definitely a catalyst for a breakup, just like many other factors. As a matter of fact, a lot of people part because of stress. A great number of people stress themselves enough to cause an involuntary break as well.

Besides the stress you are referring to, there are a number of other stress factors that impact on a relationship, starting with the stress to have to perform when intimate in order not to disappoint the partner. That kind of stress can lead to cheating for example. Other stress factors could be health related when the health problem dominates the relation and causes conflicts.

In your case, she is distancing herself from you because she is aware that you become anxious and probably start thinking of all kinds of other reasons why she seems to be distant. To avoid you from worrying about the possible reasons of her progressive emotional distance, she prefers to cut the ties in order to be able to fully concentrate on her education.

[Asker]

So it is possible to get back together in future right?

[SueShe]

It can be possible but it all depends on

a) if stress can be removed permanently
b) if the other person agrees to resume that relation after it failed

I hope that the stress is just temporary otherwise, a change in lifestyle is necessary to reduce or remove the stress. Good luck.

[normalice]

Of course, but worth noting it goes in both directions. A relationship needs to be just the right amount of work for people to want to stay in it. If there is too little or too much stress then the relationship is likely doomed.

[RedInnocent68]

Yes. It’s often present in breakups not just caused by them.

[_Maya_]

Oh heck yes it can cause issues. Stress is really tough to deal with in a relationship. I am in a similar situation. I started my post grad degree and while I have a pretty nice course schedule I do get busy certain days. That means less time with my partner. She did just move in since her lease is up so that does help with the spending time together isssue. For your situation I think just wait until exams are done and reach out and see if things have changed. They may not and she may have found that without the burden of a relationship her stress in general was a lot less and that is the way to go moving forward... as single. All you can do is hope for the best really.

[sage2021]

You only told us how busy her life is, and how much stress she has.
But what about you? It sounds like she felt that if she can carry such a heavy load in her life, you should be doing the same.
You need to update the question and tell us where you spend your time which makes you so readily available at anytime to be with her.
I would have broke up with you too. It wasn't an equal relationship.
And if you are a woman posing as a guy on here, that's not fair to the people answering the question. So, is this about a lesbian couple or two straight people. Don't feed us lies here!!

[Anonymous]

She probably just needs space and time apart, probably after her exams you could contact her, hopefully that’s all it is because if ends up with another guy before that I would be pissed at her and disappointed in her

[Iron_Man]

It can be fixed

[Asker]

I hope so :)

[Iron_Man]

Yes…

[Anonymous]

Breakup can lead to stress is more like it.

[Kingofkings1992]

Of course.

[In_Trance]

Yeah

[jimmy2]

Yes it can