How should I handle it that my girlfriend gave her number to a guy?

[Anonymous]

Hey, my girlfriend and I are together for a year. Currently, she is doing a semester abroad. She tells me everything and I tell her everything. Yesterday she was in a bar with friends and new people were also around. She got on very well with guy who she met the first time there. They talked a lot, they danced as a group and in the End he asked my girlfriend for her number and she gave it to him. I was not happy with that because she coule say no or at least say I have a boyfriend. I talked to her about it and she said that it is only the number and she could't bring it up that she has a boyfriend because it would be awkward if she randomly said it. She said if he would ask her to hang around she would say that they should do it as a group and if he would like to do it only with her she would say sry I have a boyfriend. \don't know whether I am making something big out of it. I am still uncomfortable with that. I am interested in your opinions. Thank you.

Updates

5 mo

Yeah maybe I am making too much out of it…

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo man, that's definitely an uncomfortable situation. I can see why you'd be upset she gave her number so easily. But your girl's also abroad having new experiences so maybe cut her some slack.

A few things to think about:

- Her saying she'll shoot him down if he tries anything one-on-one is somewhat reassuring. At least she's not trying to hide you.

- It was a group setting so maybe she didn't want to make things awkward bringing up the boyfriend thing out of nowhere.

- You said she's usually honest with you, right? So there's trust there already.

I'd say let her know again how it made you feel, but try not to come at her too harshly since you guys have been good otherwise. And tell her next time to definitely give a heads up about having a boyfriend if a guy hits on her alone.

As long as she's not acting sketchy, I'd give her benefit of doubt this once. But keep a close eye on their interactions just in case. Try not to worry too much - she chose you, not that dude!

[Truthatanycost]

'Yeah maybe I am making too much out of it… '

Above is rationalization and do not listen to the pinks. They are wrong. We all know that if they had been with a man for a year and he gave his number to a girl in a bar, they would all be against him. In answer to your question is you do not handle it, you move on. If a woman wants to give her number to random men then she can be single. The 'You must be insecure' is a common shaming attempt to try to allow lower standards of behavior and a way for women to act in any way they wish without consequence.

[NZGirl07]

Hi there. I'm sorry this has happened to you. I definitely think what your girlfriend did is wrong and unfair. My boyfriend and I always reject advances by telling people we have a partner. Even if this is awkward it is 100% necessary.

I think you should have a serious talk with her, and consider if perhaps she isn't right for you. Definitely monitor her behaviour.

The people saying you are insecure are wrong in my opinion. You need boundaries in a relationship, and handing out your phone number to obviously interested men/women is unacceptable.

[HelpfulWoman]

Sounds like you're trying to flex insecurity muscles.
Its a dude. so what? she's made a friend and you're instantly being that bad boyfriend

[Al_Musafir]

Yep, shouldn't have done that. Big red flag!

[Nikki1989]

Stop being so insecure. You obviously have a lot of growing up to do.

[In_Trance]

Handle it however you want