This is bit weird but just want to ask do you people think it's okay for a 22 year old sister to sit in her brother's lap?

[Anonymous]

I hate to even think about it in this way but I really want to know if it's normal for brother and sister to be this close. I am only child of my parents and I have no idea how it is to have a brother other than what I see in movies and people around me.

I was at my boyfriend's place this Tuesdays, we were chit chatting in living room while watching TV and soon after his sister came and joined us. She sat on another couch beside us and after some time she asked me if I want to have some snacks to which I refused as I was full. My boyfriend said he would like to eat something so she went inside and brought some Doritos or something similar and she literally sat in my boyfriend's lap sharing snacks eating casually.

I am not sexualizing it, I know my boyfriend loves me, we are in serious relationship and I love him too. I just feel weird about it as they both are grown ups.

I am also worried as to whether it is some kind of "power move" where she is trying to tell me that she is more close to her brother than me. I just don't know how to make sense of this.

Help me to understand whether it is normal and I am overthinking or Is there something I am missing?

Updates

5 mo

Just adding more detail: My boyfriend was okay with all this, it was like his brain didn't even register the fact that his sister is sitting in his lap. He just normally talked with me and her, it's pretty obvious that this wasn't the first time they are sitting like this.

And I won't make it more weird for me by bringing up this topic with my boyfriend. I would just think about whether to continue or not because he lives with his parents so his sister acting this way will be huge deal for me.

[TheorionMage]

EVERY family has its OWN unique 'dynamic' ... which you are new to.
Modern erotic films are rife fantasizing scenarios of kindred and /or 'blended' families and the relative ages of these kin. What was once just rebelliously 'naughty' matures into knowingly 'kinky'.

Biological natural inclinations are ALWAYS the innate 'default' baseline.
Signals to & from his/her intimate genital regions transfer, moderated ONLY by societal promulgated censure... the juvenile temptation of innocence vs. 'naughty'. Did she knowingly 'grind' on Santa's lap as a little girl? ... Savoring her audience's responses?
When the protestations of: "Don't! ... STOP!" turn to: "DON'T stop!"

Brother is acutely AWARE of her nether's warmth, pressure and ANY squirming and SHE would FEEL any of his tumescence and... pending their previous juvenile history, ... whether she enjoys both his... and your discomforture... she's playing with BOTH your psyches!

Awaiting to assess HOW YOU react to her 'territorial display'.
Will she 'share' his intimate perch? Will He/they... share YOU?

[AviatorTom]

IMHO, sister is sending you a message... that you are not good enough for your boyfriend.

That bothers you, so tell your boyfriend that, and see his reaction.

[Asker]

Yess, this is exactly what I am thinking. I don't even know what to bring up this topic with my boyfriend without making it weird. I mean he also acted as if his sister sitting in his lap isn't something new, there was so surprise on his face, he was just casually talking with us.

So, I don't really know if I will ever talk to him about this but I will think whether to continue with him.

[AviatorTom]

Asker... When they were little kids growing up, she probably often sat on his lap... perfectly normal. But that should have ended during her teen years. Don't be afraid to talk about this with your boyfriend. You can start it with something like "When we were at your place the other day, your sister just plopped down on your lap. I'm not sure I like that..."

[Asker]

Thanks for helping. I won't mention her sitting in his lap but I am planning to ask him during casual conversation if his sister ever talks about me or if she is okay with us dating.

[AviatorTom]

Asker... That's good!

[Anonymous]

Don’t let us gaslight you, if you aren’t comfortable seeing that then you just aren’t. Responses will vary because everyone perceives this differently, so you have to act within your own boundaries and comfort levels. Like if majority responded and said it’s not weird, would you just switch this feeling off?

[Asker]

I am just not familiar with "Brother Sister" relationship. I am just aware of how siblings act in social places and from movies.

So I am trying to know from other people if such thing between brother and sister is normal or not. Even if most would say it's not weird It would still be weird for me but that would be on me, I would have to learn few things about him and his sister. But right now I feel like it's not me, it's them.

[Opinion Owner]

Your feelings rent on anyone else but yourself. Who knows what their relationship is, whether it’s normal or not, but it makes you uncomfortable and that’s what matters. Sure you could learn more about their dynamic but would it make you feel better seeing her in his lap going forward? Probably not.

[Asker]

True, I will think about it. I just don't want to bring up this issue with my boyfriend. He would be weirded out by this and so will I.

[Opinion Owner]

But you’re already weirded out about it, that’s the thing. In relationships you need to be able to voice your issues, concerns, feelings, etc without fearing the repercussions. I feel like by asking this question you’re hoping for some reassurance about how you feel, but you truly don’t need anyone to validate it because it’s a fair red flag, in my opinion. You don’t need to experience having a sibling to feel like a grown woman sitting in a grown man’s lap is inappropriate or not. It’s like saying you’ve never made a Turkey but if you cook it, cut it open and it’s still raw then it’s not done. Common sense basically, you aren’t lacking that.

[Asker]

That's really mean of you but okay, whatever. I will talk with my boyfriend about this.

[Opinion Owner]

What part was mean?

[Opinion Owner]

Because of it’s the part where I said you aren't lacking common sense?

[Apple1996]

That's weird af. I have 4 brothers and haven't sat on their lap since I was like 6 years old

[EmmaMary]

That, I would find extremely worrying and concerning indeed.

[Nxtawm]

No that’s weird 💀 sitting on her lap should’ve ended as soon as she wasn’t a little kid anymore

[Sunnybeach123]

Honestly, no. It's too easy to get an accidental boner and poke her.

[sheikalana]

Weird.

[jahaims]

Nah that weirds