Why do people go for someone with little common interests?

[Tren58]

Why do so many people want to be with others that they clearly aren’t compatible with? Why do they pretend to be someone they aren’t and like things they don’t with the intention to go back to how they really are after they’ve secured the relationship? Doesn’t it make more sense to just be yourself and honest so that you end up with someone more suited to you?

To be fair, I do change some of my preferences to suit my SO. But, I do it to show that I care about what’s important to them and to form a deeper connection.

Have you ever been with someone who has interests or beliefs you genuinely dislike and had the intention of making them change it, or being resentful over while you are in a relationship? If so, what was your thought process in the decision to stay with them?

Lots of questions, I know.

[Anonymous]

Why does anyone choose anyone.

I agreed to meet this woman who said she was a Buddhist, was into sustainable living, and a vegetarian. This is about the polar opposite of me. For the life of me I don't get what she saw as a match between us. Then I met her in person. She wasn't half the things she said. I think she was just trying to sound interesting. The reality was she sounded like a flake. In hindsight if I had to guess, i think her dance cart was kind of empty. But that's just my assessment. The point I'm making was did she think I looked and sound like something she was looking for? Cause I didn't see it. Likewise I've had many women who I thought were a great match for me who didn't feel that way at all.

People see what they see and that's uniquely thier perspective. Don't waste your time trying to understand it.

[Saiesh30]

The difficult part today for everyone in general is to recognise oneself. The less they're aware of themselves, the more they tend do things which doesn't really help them.
People are more desperate than patient and instead of being confident about what they prefer they tend to replicate what the other person desires.

[Tren58]

This makes the most sense for what I was asking. I just have so many girlfriends whose husbands have no desire to indulge in their wife’s interests and even neglect them. I’ve wondered why they were even interested in perusing a committed relationship with them in the first place. But, to your point, it’s probably because they didn’t know they were going to eventually get bored of it and find things they actually like.

[Iron_Man]

It’s hard to find women to date sometimes people say you gotta get it while the getting is good

[Tren58]

So… for sex?

[Iron_Man]

Nope

[Nikki1989]

People settle for the first person that comes along, instead of dating multiple people.

[ethansf]

There are lots of people who are chameleons in the hope that whoever they're interested in likes them. I used to be a people pleaser. It never works out.

[LazerBean]

Hormones