Do you believe that toxic people come with warning signs and you only end up in a toxic relationship if you ignored the signs you saw ahead of time?

[jennifer_bloom]

I remember two guys that seemed to have flawless images in public turned out to be angry micro managers that got aggressive when procedures were not followed to the T. As somebody that was always judged for unimportant reasons by my family, I flee like a rabbit from people who have micromanaging issues in their relationships with women. One turned out to be far more evil than I could ever imagine so my decision to follow the signal I saw was right.

I also believe a lot of people end up in abusive relationships when they try to establish the relationship on morally flawed grounds, such as an affair, or a transactional gold digging exchange, not knowing they will set themselves up for physical violence once they marry for money etc...

[Joshydavid25]

Yeah the signs usually display themselves not immediately but early on.. People from good and healthy families or people that worked to get a healthy mindset can catch it and run.. So the people who usually get caught up with toxic people and stay are not usually very healthy people themselves..

[Joshydavid25]

Thanks for MHO!

[ChiTown33]

Generally yes. People usually tell you are if you're paying close enough attention. Most people (especially women due to their emotional nature) are too caught in their feelings to see all the signs though.

[ohsheeT]

If you pay attention everything comes with one signs and if you pay attention to yourself you're told and then you have to make a choice.
but if you don't pay attention you're going to fall into the trap of being hurt or taken from
And if that's the case all you can do is accept it and move on because there will be another moment just like this one and you're going to have to make the same choices or different choices

[Anonymous]

Not all do. A narcissist is just a wolf in sheep’s clothing. They are very skilled at agreeing with what you want to hear. Telling you what you want to hear.


They are very skillful in the art of deception. They can portray a person that is very loving, self sacrificing and undeserving of bad circumstances.


It is only when you try interacting with them on a more personal level, such as boyfriend/girlfriend, husband or wife that you find out quickly that boundaries are just a figment of your imagination. Notice l didn’t include a very, very, rare best friend.
Those that are close to this narcissist attempt to set boundaries but those boundaries get in the selfish ways of that narcissistic personality. “This is how l live. There is no other way. Your way of living contradicts mine. I am always right and l will always deflect blame onto you. If you try setting boundaries in our relationship, l will make your life a living hell.”


As a man that was married to one for 18 years, l can attest to this all too damn well.

[JacobJordan]

it isn't obvious immediately but to be blunt yes the majority of toxic people display certain major red flags that one would see before the relationship has even gotten very far. simple things like differences of opinion can trigger it. or canceling plans, saying no to certain things. several other very common things that pop up they display an abnormal reaction too. it may not be outright toxic but the response would be considered abnormal many people ignore those blaming it on "relationship jitters" or "we are new they are just a bit nervous"

[JacobJordan]

thinking more on it some really good examples of this pop up on here regularly. things like "I am in a relationship with a guy and he ignored me for a week is that normal?" or "why would a guy tell everyone I am his girlfriend but never talk to me about that?" or "my girlfriend leaves me on read a lot what does that mean?" all of these are abnormal responses in the early stages of a relationship and when taken in conjunction with the goal of a long term relationship they are very obvious major red flags that are typically ignored

[IslaTheWitch]

Tbh, toxic people can conceal their toxic personalities very well, especially in the initial stages of a relationship. So, it's not possible to identify them early on. They reveal their true colors when the partner has already invested time and effort into the relationship, and there is a high chance that they won't give up easily.

[DiegoO]

You can only read a sign if you know to read signs.

Same applies for behavior. Can't read the sign of something you never identified or knew about. Although, sometimes you can't read it as DANGER because you grew up in an environment that teach you it was NORNAL.

[DryGermanGuy]

I don’t think it’s that obvious, in most cases. A lot of toxic people come with a very charming „hull“ and only later you get to experience them fully. You have to have a certain experience with them to recognize the signs.

[bededazzle]

yeah but it’s hard to say when exactly the signs will appear. often it happens if you disagree with/challenge the person i think.

[hsshannah96]

Kind of. Depends on the person who is in the relationship with them and the toxic person themself

[Angelo75]

I do.

That's why you just gotta try to see how they behave when their sibblings and parents are around.
Usually thats a telltale.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Another reason is toxic people attract other toxic people.