I accidentally said another man's name while drunk, any way to fix this?

[Anonymous]

I was having a good time with my boyfriend, hugging and watching a movie. At some point, I guess a slip of the tongue happened.

Sergio is the other man's name. I accidentally called out the name of now grown man (then a boy) I had a crush on since I was 12 years old. Then in our freshman year we went out on 3 dates. He was trying to see if he could like me back but in the end didn't feel the same way. We remained as just friend and dated others.

My boyfriend is uncomfortable because he told I said a bit more than just calling out his name. I said how I wish it was Sergio. Ooops. I was drunk though. I never called out his name like that while sober. Any way to fix this?

Updates

+1 y

I never told my boyfriend about all this. He had no idea who Sergio was.

[OlderAndWiser]

No. You aren't 8 years old and you can't just say, "I take it back." He can't unhear those words. If he has any testicles, he will contemplate what you said, eventually decide that he is - at best - your second choice, reject that as an option, and then break up with you.

[Asker]

I thought what matters is I still chose my boyfriend and love our relationship. Things will never work out with Sergio because he never saw me as a romantic partner. That guy has no romantic feelings for me (unrequited love basically), never had and I had already accepted that as my reality.

[OlderAndWiser]

That still sounds like you want to be with current boyfriend only because it can’t work with Sergio.

[Asker]

Well you can't help with feelings. I love my boyfriend and the relationship. My friend Sergio has a place in my heart too. Having feeling for someone in the past too isn't cheating. But yeah I won't drink again.

[OlderAndWiser]

Never said it was cheating. And that’s not the only thing that can ruin a relationship.

[AviatorTom]

If it's still a n issue for you and you boyfriend, just tell him who Sergio was, and what you and he did together. Then tell him all that is in the past, your boyfriend is number one, and then take really good care of your boyfriend.

[Asker]

Yes I'll tell him about him. Since we didn't do anything beyond kissing on a date when we were 14 year-old HS freshmen and he felt nothing for me, hopefully that comforts him. Sergio at that time said it himself that when he kissed me it was like kissing a sister or cousin. I'm in his permanent friendzone.

[Avicenna]

Time might make him forget, otherwise no

[Asker]

Hopefully

[genericname85]

best way is to just explain what went through your head. cause the first thought he will have is that you have had an experience with him that made you think about him rather than your boyfriend.

[Asker]

I've discussed this with him. I already told him about Sergio and we never even got further than a kiss on the 3rd date when we were 14 year-old HS freshmen.

[genericname85]

well either way, it fucking hurts to have your partner shout another persons name in bed... so i guess nothing for you to do but make sure he knows you have no feelings for that other dude and let him have some time to recover from that emotional damage.

[Drumlin2001]

Alcohol only loosens a tongue. It's no excuse. I would be very wary if my other half was blurting out other guys names. Not sure I would fully trust her again

[Asker]

If you were him, would it make you feel better that it's only Sergio I called out. Plus, all we ever did when we were 14 year-old freshmen was kissing on a date and he felt nothing. He even said it at that time that kissing me felt like kissing a sister or cousin. I've been on his permanent friendzone and I've accepted that. He never had romantic feelings towards me and never will.

[Drumlin2001]

Everything you say seems to be about how Sergio rejected you. If you're not good enough for Sergio why would I want you? And just because Sergio rejected you, dosent mean you resolved your feelings for him. Are you sure you're really ready for someone else?

[Asker]

yes I feel ready. I love my boyfriend and Sergio is my friend I care for. Both men have a special place in my heart.

[boggboss]

Are u really trying to play this off like ohh I was drunk it's not my fault

[boggboss]

U said someone else's name and byvthe sounds of it told him u wish he was another man that's pretty deverstating

[Asker]

Yet I'm just a platonic friend with Sergio. I've forever in his friendzone. That guy never had any romantic feelings for me and that's the reality I've already accepted.
I do love my boyfriend and relationship. I chose him.

[boggboss]

U chose him yet decided to stay friends with a guy u had feelings for and when drunk told your boyfriend that u say u love that u with he was this other guy are u honestly going to say if your boyfriend did this to you that u wouldn't care

[Asker]

I'm trying to place myself in his shoes, honestly I am. Yes it feel so awkward but I think I'll try to be an understanding person and realized that we don't always have what we want in life and that there are people whom we'll always hold a special place for in our hearts.. but what matters is the present.

[boggboss]

If my partner ever told me what u just said in reference to being rejected by someone else that would be the relationship over

[boggboss]

And justbto make sure I wasn't bugging out I screen shotted this and showed my friends group to which most are saying he should leave u as he was clearly a second choice to a guy u never got over

[Asker]

But I'm not even going to get together with Sergio. I'll never happen. He has already dated other and is in a relationship too.
So is fair to just break up just because of having feelings for someone in the past? Having feelings isn't something you can just turn off immediately. I love my boyfriend but Sergio has a place in my heart too. Sergio is just a fantasy though (a fictitious fantasy) meanwhile my boyfriend is the present.

[jahaims]

Nah, you are wanting other dudes while having sex with your boyfriend. Now your boyfriend knows that.

[Asker]

The thing is the alcohol made me say those things. My boyfriend never knew about Sergio. I never shared that with him.

[KrakenAttackin]

It will be a long time before your boyfriend forgives/forgets this.

[Asker]

But it's not like I'm going to get together with Sergio. That'll never happen. He's just a fantasy meanwhile my boyfriend, my current relationship is the present. I'm in Sergio's permanent friendzone (yes it happens to us too... unrequited love) and have long accepted that.

[es20490446e]

Don't drink 😁

[Asker]

yes true.