Hey guys, I have been arguing with my fiance every single day for the silliest things. yesterday we were fine until he told me he would send me money to get dinner. i blew up. i blew up because he told me earlier than he needed money because i used his card on amazon $50 worth of stuff. so i sent it to him but i canceled the orders so the money can go back to his account. he told me he will send it back to me when they money returns to his account. he is the kind of person that will barely give money back to me if he borrowed. so when he said he will send me money for food, i blew up because he told me he didn’t have anything money. i know so dumb. I don't know what is it, I don't know why i easily blow up for the dumbest of things. i always feel so bad the next day. i feel like one day he will give up on me. i want to change so badly, but I don't know what i can do to stop arguing over the dumbest things. i also argue with him when i feel like he chooses his friends over me. which i think he doesn’t. when he gets out of work he will go hangout with his friends until i get home from work and showered. however when i call him and tell him im ready he will tell me oh give me 30 more mins and to me its so frustrating. he will want to hangout like around 8-9pm i know its not the late, but i go to sleep early because of work and he loves to stay up late when we are together. i also feel like im jealous of when he hangout with his friends because i feel like he has a better time with them more than me. this could all be mental or it’s something more deep rooted. i also want to add that if im not working im home. i legit have no friends. the friends i did have we just grew apart this year. so my fiance, other than my sister, is the only person i hangout with. so when he hangs out with his friends and want to spend more time with them when im ready is frustrating to me. anyone please tell me how i can stop arguing with him? or please anyone give me advice.
Updates
4 mo
i forgot to mention that he really is a sweet guy. he is so kind and caring and loves to help people and loves to be around people. he always wants the best for people. when i’m not arguing with him, we do have the best time. no i don’t mean we are having sex, i mean we are just together, laughing, talking or watching a movie.
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Well him not wanting to spend time with you, is understandable. He should be spending some time with you, even its just over the weekend.
But you shouldn't expect him spend him with you all the time, that's unfair, I am not saying you are expecting that. But you also need to find a life of your own, and find your own set of friends.
You shouldn't be arguing with him, and telling him off for not spending with you. Instead sit down, and explain to him, how you feel, and what you like for him, E. g I would like to spend time with you twice week, which would be nice.
I don't mind you going out with your friends, but not all the time, and not spending any time with me. Otherwise what's the point been in a relationship.
A nice letter like this, will help him understand. This from chatgpt. Good luck
I hope this letter finds you well. I've been doing some reflection, and I wanted to share my thoughts and feelings with you in a more deliberate way. Lately, I've noticed that we've been arguing over seemingly small things, and it's been bothering me. I want you to know that I appreciate you and our relationship, and I genuinely want to make things better between us.
Firstly, I want to apologize for my reaction when you offered to send money for dinner. I realize now that my frustration might have been disproportionate to the situation. I've been feeling a bit stressed about finances, and I should have communicated that with you calmly instead of blowing up.
I also want to discuss our differing schedules and how it affects our time together. I understand that we both have commitments, and I want us to find a balance that works for both of us. Your time with friends is important, and I respect that. However, I sometimes feel a bit left out when plans change, especially when I'm ready to spend time together.
Additionally, I've been thinking about our communication regarding finances. It's crucial for both of us to be on the same page about money matters. Let's have an open conversation about how we handle finances and set a clear budget to avoid any misunderstandings in the future.
I want you to know that I value our relationship immensely, and I'm committed to making positive changes. Let's work together to find compromises, communicate more effectively, and create a more supportive and understanding environment for both of us.
If you're open to it, I think it might be helpful for us to explore these issues further with the guidance of a couples' therapist. Their expertise could provide us with valuable insights and tools to strengthen our relationship.
Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts. I care about you deeply, and I believe that we can overcome these challenges together.
With love, [Your Name]
Loosen up. You're holding things tight n control it.
You have issues n lots of things to talk. Either have a conversation with your man or best go to therapy.
i tried calling him and he just ignores my phone calls