How do I convince my fiancé to quit her job and become a “housewife”?

[Anonymous]

Hi,

I am having a lot of my arguments with my girlfriend (we are engaged fyi) regarding her becoming a “housewife” and it seems like the relationship is coming to an end. The issue seems to be related to money as well. I am trying to seek some advice to see if there is anything that can be done to save it.

So a little background. We been dating for a couple years. When we started dating we had a bit of an income gap (I was making 30-35% more then her). Despite the gap we managed to split the household chores to 50/50ish. So after work or during the weekend we would do our chores and had little time to enjoy ourselves.

Today things are much differently. Now with my business growth the past couple years I make 300% more then she does. Not only do I make much more I also work less hours then she does. I usually 30 hours a week while she works 50-60 hours a week. The household chores are now getting dumped on me. She actually rarely does chores with the exception of the groceries we do together on weekends.

I really want to spend quality with her but because of her work and me doing a bunch of the household chores we can’t. Since money is not an issue anymore I thought it would be a good idea for her to quit her job and do most of the household chores so that we could have more time to spend with each other on weekends and after my work. This idea did not go too well with her. We got into huge arguments about this. She told me she likes working, has no interest in becoming a housewife, and says I am not supportive of her career. She made it seem like it was an insult for me to suggest she quit her job just so she can take care of me.

Is there anything that can be done here to save my current relationship as we built so much together the past couple of years? Perhaps there is a perspective here I am missing? It is honestly getting to the point were I am going back to the dating world looking for someone who is mentally ready to be a housewife.

Updates

3 mo

I think a break up is unavoidable at this point. It seems we are now different people with different expectations and goals.

Many suggest I should be getting a maid but getting a maid would free up a lot of my time, not necessarily her’s. It is literally Friday night, I am free, and she is working. I just don’t care about her career at all. Her getting fired would make me happy. She can’t be there for me and I can’t be there for her.

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

Hey there, wanting your fiancee to be a homemaker? It's a beautiful vision, but let's add some future-proof planning!

.

**Think ahead:**

Life throws curveballs. Job losses, illness, or family changes can happen to anyone. Having your fiancee maintain some form of income or job flexibility can be a crucial safety net.

.

**Consider:**

• Her career aspirations:

Does she dream of future career moves? Quitting now might limit her options. Could part-time work or flexible hours be a compromise?

• Financial security:

Can you comfortably cover all expenses, even with unforeseen circumstances? Her income, even part-time, could provide essential buffer.

• Open communication:

Have you talked about her concerns and goals? Does she feel valued and involved in the decision?

• Shared responsibilities:

Can you both contribute equally to household chores and childcare, even with differing work schedules?

.

Remember, a happy and secure future is built together. By approaching this as a team, you can find a solution that prioritizes both your needs and lays the foundation for a resilient and fulfilling future, no matter what life throws your way.

It's about partnering for success, not dictating the path.

Best of luck!

[pethouse]

Wanting to discuss roles and division of responsibilities with your partner is a healthy part of any relationship. If your desire is for your fiancé to become a housewife, it's important to communicate openly and honestly, while also valuing her perspectives and choices. Here are a few steps to consider:


1. Mutual Respect: Approach the conversation with respect for your fiancé's perspective and desires. Emphasize that your considerations for her are based on an equitable and thoughtful understanding of your and her individual strengths, goals, and aspirations.


2. Open Communication: Initiate an open dialogue to explore the idea of your fiancé becoming a housewife. Discuss your thoughts and reasons, and actively listen to her viewpoints as well. Transparency and understanding are foundational for a healthy discussion.


3. Understanding Her Perspective: Try to understand her feelings about the proposed change in roles. It's essential to consider how this change might impact her personal fulfillment and sense of identity.


4. Mutual Planning: Work together to explore how this decision aligns with both of your aspirations and how it supports mutual goals, including managing household responsibilities, parenting (if applicable), and financial aspects.


5. Clarity and Flexibility: Be clear about your expectations, but also be open to input from your fiancé. Collaboration and flexibility can help forge a mutually agreeable path forward.


6. Counseling or Mediation: If the conversation is difficult or if there are differing opinions, seeking the aid of professional relationship counseling or mediation can offer a

[WindAtMyBack]

She doesn't want to quit her job. She doesn't want to be a housewife. You can either accept that or find someone else.

I will not give you advice on how to convince her to do something she does not want to do.

I will however say that she is working long hours and there might be room for compromise. While a lot of people work way more hours than that, 50-60 hours a week is still a lot of hours. Those long hours may be a temporary thing.

But I will not support you in convincing her to give up her job and career. That is a too important part of someone's life. It's part of a person's fundamental view of life and dream of how they want to live their life. This isn't just about her job. It's about asking her to completely change her desires in what she wants in life. That is too much to ask.

Do not marry her if you can not accept what she wants in life. You have to honestly accept her. That means you can't accept it, but still have it in the back of your mind that she might change some day. Because that is not accepting it. You have to accept it for real and mean it. Don't ever ever get in a relationship based on a condition that they change.

[Asker]

The hours are not temporary, it has been like that for over a year. In my opinion she is getting abused at work but she has no desire to even apply for job in another company.

[WindAtMyBack]

Well, you can try to talk her into getting a different job with less hours. But it's not fair to try to get her to completely give up her career and working life. And maybe she has valid reasons for wanting to stay at her current job.

You should be helping her with her goals, not fighting against her. If another route is the best way to reach her goals, you should be able to bounce ideas off each other on how best to reach HER goals. But ultimately it has to be her decision because it's her career and her goals in life.

[Asker]

As I kind of mentioned to someone else. She actually doesn’t want to work. She complains about it a lot actually. I remember her regularly saying she wants to quit her job (maybe it was an exaggeration?). Now she can quit her job, but the catch is she will be a housewife. I think the main issue here is she doesn’t want to be a housewife and would rather work. If she can quit and not do anything she will do that.

Honestly it is hard for me to even care about her career at all. The money she brings in is worthless and doesn’t add to our life. I hate the time she spends at work. Almost every time I want to go out try a new restaurant or activity with her she can’t because of work, or she is too tired because of work. Last year I was buying one of my dream cars and wanted her to be part of the process (which was a couple months of searching), guess what she can’t because of work. I have been hanging out with other people more then her. I don’t understand how any of this is fair to me, it is almost like she is not part of my life anymore.

I really want things to work but it seems with time our situation has changed and my expectations have changed.

[Anonymous]

I think you both need to talk calmly and need to see through it. But reading this I feel like maybe she doesn't want to talk kind. But really it's not the solution. For finding a solution you need to see through it that what's her points, what your points. Like why does she want to continue her job? Does she not like spending time together? Why she is so adamant for keeping this job when it is so much tiering for her? Does she fear about loosing personal money? In that case you can offer to give her some amount to feel safe kind. Without making her feel like it's her wage or something like that but making her feel like she is part of your life and she deserves part of your income for spending on herself.

If she is worried that after leaving job she would be more like house maid then you need to make her assure that you would help her in house chore also wherever possible, you need to make her feel like it's not her job but this house is responsibility of you both.

You both really need to talk and find the solution.

If she wants to work, you may offer her to lessen down her working hours or can choose some other jobs.

You both need to figure out yourself. No other person can help or save this relationship but you both only acting mature

[jennifer_bloom]

If she does not want to be a house wife, she might be a worried about not have a recourse or a source of power in the relationship that could protect her both from divorce and abuse and give her income if you guys do decide to get a divorce. The average marriage lasts 13 years where I live, so you cannot blame her for wanting a back up plan. What if you get hit by a car one day and she has no income because she gave up her job to support your career? If you feel the house chores are being neglected, you might hire a nanny. I know a house wife that sometimes hires a maid to help with chores because it allows her to get more done in the house.

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

If I am going to pay a maid, I'll marry the maid. It's that simple.

He wants a traditional relationship, she doesn't. Neither has to stay in the relationship if their life goals are different.

If his income is that high he can easily set up a trust to protect a percentage of the income to help her if anything happens to him.

Neither has to settle for the other if they do not meet each others relationship expectations.

[Apple1996]

You don't. If you want a housewife find a different woman that is willing

[coachTanthony]

You make sure she wants to be a housewife before putting a ring on it. If you can't let it go by now why did you keep moving forward with this woman?

[KittygosMeoWW]

I’ll start off by saying I would’ve truly enjoyed being a stay at home mom and making my household my only concern however I would’ve only done it in the right situation with the right man.

It’s a bit of a red flag the way you express your needs above hers. If money wasn’t a concern why not hire a maid? You started off placing importance on her well being and making sure she’s not assuming too much responsibility and stress at work so your relationship could benefit from time together but then mentioned you were tired of being in the housekeeping role.

She’s probably afraid if she quit her job stopped growing her career and settled down with you, it would change the power dynamic and you’d want to control every aspect. Instead of reporting to a boss who she can change and clock out from she’d have you a person she cares for her holding her to standards you can’t even do.

Doesn't sound like you’re in love since you’re engaged but have thought about seeking another woman. All because your current partner isn’t your maid.

[Asker]

It is a red flag that I want her to quit so we can spend more time with each other? She is never available to me, but she is available for her job when her boss calls her in on the weekend or when she is off. If I hire a maid should I also hang out with the maid after working too? When we got engaged the time was a little different in a sense I just started making a lot more money and I cut my hours from work. As the months went by my love for her has been decreasing to the point were I am heavily considering breaking up with her. Many times I want to do all day events with her and I can’t because of her work. I have been doing many things without her when I really want her to be part of it. Other people are more involved in my life then she is.

The fact is she is providing nothing in this relationship anymore. The money she beings in from her work does nothing to our lifestyle. The BEST way I see to save the relationship is for her to quit that way my time and her time is freed up and we can spend more quality time together.

She never mentioned anything to me about her being worried that I would control her or whatever. From what I understand she hates working, but hates being a housewife more so she settles for working. I have asked her what we can do to solve this problem, how can she be more involved in my life so that I don’t feel ignored and she couldn’t give a proper response. She would say stuff like why am I so needy and childish and that I should just be a man. So what does that mean should I ignore her and hangout with other women who will give me their time?

I really do enjoy her company when she gives me her time but she is simply not giving enough.

[KittygosMeoWW]

You say it’s based on you both not having couples time and dates but it really sounds like her value to you is only there if she will do as you say or do stuff for you. You don’t make her feel safe otherwise she would’ve talked to you about being part time. No surprise there since you’re considering breaking up your engagement. This doesn’t sound like love at all

[Asker]

She can’t do part time. Her work requires her to work full time.

Yes the issue is 100% based on not having couple times. What is the point of marrying a women I never get to see or hangout with? I never get to share any experiences with her.

[KittygosMeoWW]

Even if she doesn’t do all your chores?

[Asker]

How is it my chores? It is our chores. Somebody needs to do them and quite frankly they do consume time. I personally don’t want to spend our time together doing groceries when we can instead do a day trip or trying something new.

Lets assume I pay somebody to do all the chores, there is also the concern of her very demanding job that pays her peanuts. How can we spend time together if her job keeps getting in the way? I guess the solution there is just to hangout with the maid afterwards right?

[Inbox]

@asker If one partner is doing what they can to maintain and improve the relationship, but the other isn’t doing anything - it’s time to end the relationship.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

If she worked really hard to get to where she's at career-wise (possibly all the way from childhood studying and/or practicing), I think it's asking too much for her to give it up.

If you can't negotiate with her and get her to do her share though, the domestic work required is going to skyrocket if you two have children. Being child-free is relatively a vacation. Is a nanny an option?

I think this is quite an impasse though in the most fundamental values of marriage. If you want a traditional wife who devotes her full time to homemaking and she wants to be a career woman devoting almost all of her energy to her career, that's quite a conflict of interest.

[Asker]

We don’t have kids at the moment, but I have looked into the costs of sending children to daycare and having after school activities for them to do while we are working. The total comes out to being her salary (I was also including the extra costs of insurance, gas, food etc). It seems to make more economic sense for her to not work as well sense we can live off 1 income fairly easily.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

What type of career does she have if I may ask? Something I'm wondering is if there might be a compromise where she can do more of her work at home, for example.

My wife, for example, is a book editor. While she's reasonably traditional and not one of those "I don't need no man" types, she worked her entire life starting from honing her reading and writing skills even as a little girl, received a degree as a literature major, and ultimately worked from a lowly intern to where she is now.

Yet actually when we got married, she made the most amazing proposal to quit her career on my behalf to become dedicate more time to the home and children we planned to have. I actually refused her as much as the idea of a dedicated housewife appealed to me since it would tax my conscience too much to be the cause of such a sacrifice. If she wanted to quit her career on her accord, that's fine with me any time, but not on my behalf.

But a great aspect of her job is that ~80% of it is just reading manuscripts. So after marriage, she was able to take the bulk of her work home and do most of it from home, now only having to go to the office to collaborate with her clients (authors), designers for book covers, and other editors working below her. That allows her to contribute a large share of domestic work.

Might such a compromise be possible in your case?

[Asker]

She is a data analyst. Currently she is doing hybrid work were she goes to the office 2 days a week and rest is remote. Her job involves a lot of interaction with people so most of her time is spend on meetings. When she works at home she is always in meetings. So I am not sure if working fully remotely would help considering she is already working most days remotely.

Although I prefer her to just quit I would settle for something that allows her to work less hours and gives us more time to be together. We tried some stuff like asking for less hours at work but her company won’t budge. She doesn’t want to leave the company and she can’t move to another team. I personally believe she is getting abused at work and encourage her to apply someplace else were she can have a better work life balance but refuses. She has told me multiple times that she hates her job but is doing nothing fix the issue. She has this belief that she would get a big promotion if she sticks around.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Ouch! That is among the worst examples I can think of flexibility, since data analysis requires extensive education, training, and keeping up with rapidly-changing trends in technology. It's the type of job where anyone out of the market for extended periods of time (even lengthy maternity leave) can quickly find themselves turning into dinosaurs unable to keep of with the rapidly-changing job requirements. Most of all it's the type of job that tends to dominate our minds even when we're not officially working. I have a similar struggle as a software engineer always trying to keep up with the changing trends and requirements; one of my biggest fears growing older is that I will one day no longer be able to keep up.

I don't want to push your decision one way or another but it's something to keep in mind. This isn't the type of career that lends itself well to being much of a homemaker. If she's passionate about staying in the industry and climbing up the ladder, I think the best you might be able to expect is around an even split of the domestic responsibilities.

[Xoxocutekitty]

If money is not an issue, then hire someone to do the house chores that you don't want to do, and plan intentional dates for your fiance on the weekends. Treat her to spa dates, and then take her out for a nice meal afterwards.

It's easy to think that the partner who makes "less income" and/or has to work longer hours for less recognition, is "wasting their time." On the other, it's a bit controlling to tell someone to give up their only source in income, to become financially dependent on someone else.

there's also a big difference between nudging your partner to pick another job which offers them a healthy work/life balance versus demand they make zero income and stay home cooking food all day (maybe they actually dislike cooking).

If you want to spend time with them, plan dates, hire people to make their life easier, and instead of complaining about their hard-working/ ambitious nature, actually support them like a spouse.

[Anonymous]

What you’re asking her is a big risk. A lot of women don’t want to become housewives because they don’t want to become dependent on their man. Let’s say she agrees. What if 10, 15, 20 years down the line you divorced or she became a widow? She would need to return to the workforce anyway, and would have a difficult if not impossible time getting back into her field and at the same rate of pay as before.
Also chores should be divided according to labor; if she’s working 50 hours at work and you’re working 30, then of course it’s up to you to make up those 20 hours with chores at home. What is the plan when kids come in the picture? Parenting is a 24 hour job. You can’t leave the majority of that up to her either.

[Asker]

Oh the irony. She is working worrying about the relationship collapsing and wants something to fall back on when in fact the relationship is collapsing because she is working.

Why in the world should I be making up the hours to match her working hours? My goal is to work less and less and hopefully get to the point of never needing to work. I want to live my life. If I sell my business and we never have to work in our life your saying I should match her working hours of her lousy job just so she has some insurance when the relationship is going south? This honestly sounds absurd to me. Why can’t she work smarter and reach my level then?

You opinion doesn’t give a solution to the problem. The issue is she has almost no time to be with me because of her work. For us to maximize our time together she would have to be a housewife, otherwise she is not pulling her weight in this relationship. If she wants to continue working and doesn’t want to adapt to what this relationship needs then she will have to find someone else who can respect her career, which likely has be someone with the same success as her or less.

[Opinion Owner]

What does she do for work anyways?

[Asker]

It is some corporate job. I believe she is some sort of data analyst. She pretty much manages data for a certain business in the company and helps provide the data to whoever needs it, sales, product managers etc. if data is missing she tries to collect it by going through the companies database and if it is missing completely she consults with engineers to see what they can do to get the data she needs.

[Blackbird4789]

I mean if she has blatantly stated she doesn't want to be a housewife and enjoys working it looks like she's drawn her line. You can ask her if it has anything to do with her care in the future and put in a pre-nup that she will be cared for if things go south, but that doesn't sound like what she wants. Some women dont want to be in traditional roles so it might be time to consider ending it to look for someone who is on the same page and is willing to be a stay at home wife. I would be upfront about any desire for children too.

[abc3643]

Well, your fiancé is a dude, so unless he's going to be an M2F transgender, you've got issues.

However, if you have a fiancée, that's a different story.

And, don't be an idiot. In this day and age, unless you are making 7 figures, you want her income too to survive. So, you might want to rethink this "housewife" thing. After all...

https://www.youtube.com/embed/QcxWxNO8idc

[Asker]

Eh I don’t make 7 figures but the thing is I really don’t need her income to survive. I can easily buy a house, cars, fund kid’s education, groceries etc all on my own. We won't be beverly hills rich but we would be comfortable. Her income doesn’t really add much. If she was living on her own she would barley get by.

[abc3643]

You forget the most valuable thing she has.
Herself.
You want her to not be herself.
If she does what you want, she may still be your fiancée in public now, but she'll already be your future ex-wife in her heart.

So, no, don't force this on her. She MAY change her mind later - especially if there is a kid involved.

HOWEVER, you need to work on you.
The fact is that your writing this question illustrates a certain naïveté regarding relationships and the need for people to be who they want and need to be.
Learn this.
If you do not, you will have problems at home and in your business life as well.

[Asker]

Unfortunately she needs to adapt to what this relationship needs now because I can’t stand it.

I don’t believe your case on want versus need. Assuming I understand what you mean correctly, a business needs to adapt to current the market, failing to do so will cause your business to fail. I believe the same idea goes with relationships. Relationships don’t stay static forever, things happen and you need to adapt. You could get a special needs child who will require lots of attention, health issues can arise, etc. You need to be able to adapt to the situation.

For example, I have heard of this old couple that told me a story years ago about how the husband was out of work and needed a job. He found one of state but the wife did not want to move. They lived in their state and city for 20+ years and she did not want to leave the relationships and life they built there to restart in a new state. She would also have to quit her job. They had a huge argument and when it came down to it he essentially forced her to move because he made most of the money and the family can’t survive on her income. Today they are still happily married and the wife admits he made a good decision. I have heard these type of stories many times. You essentially have to take risk and adapt in life and can’t just sit in your comfort zone forever.

Asking her to quit is not as risky as people make it out to be here. She can try it out and if she hates it she can go back working and we can separate and move on.

[abc3643]

She needs to leave you, that's what she needs.
You have some growing-up to do, son.

[abc3643]

I want to be clear why I wrote that...
You wrote this:
"Unfortunately she needs to adapt to what this relationship needs now because I can’t stand it."

Right then and there, I stopped reading because, whatever case you make - good or bad - you are failing to understand YOUR need to adapt too. In this case, YOU need to adapt to what her emotional needs are and that is that she needs to be her own person and not just a subdivision of your conglomerate.

You need to understand that women - all people really, but I believe women more so - need to be who they are. To find themselves, in a sense. All young people need to do that (and a lot of old folks too). And, part of that, is being flexible and giving them less constraints.

Meanwhile...
(more)

[abc3643]

I want you to read what you wrote in the original question...

"I really want to spend quality with her but because of her work and me doing a bunch of the household chores we can’t. Since money is not an issue anymore I thought it would be a good idea for her to quit her job and do most of the household chores so that we could have more time to spend with each other on weekends and after my work. "

This is what I perceive from this:
1. This is about what you want.
2. This has nothing in it about what she wants.
3. By focusing on yourself, that's a bit immature. By not even thinking about what she wants, that's also a bit immature, but, worse, you are treating her like an object... like an ___employee___.
4. This:
"Since money is not an issue anymore I thought it would be a good idea for her to quit her job and do most of the household chores so that we could have more time to spend with each other on weekends and after my work."
Two things:
A. If you have all this spare cash and don't need her to work, then fucking hire help if you don't want to do chores. You can hire someone or get a service to help you. Her income should be greater than the cost you outlay for the paid help. So, in business speak, your cost-benefit analysis should persuade you to let her keep her job which will more than cover the paid help; you get that free time and some positive net income from her job.
B. Good luck when you have kids because your time and money will go *POOF*.

Think about that.

Yeah, you need to work on you a bit.

[Asker]

So let me get this straight your idea is to free up my time by hiring a maid? Then who do I hangout with after work? My maid? Her income means nothing to me and I rather have her time to do stuff. She can’t give me time because of her work therefore she is useless to me. She needs to put her effort in this relationship and her working doesn’t help.

It is obvious you don’t understand my situation at all. If she wants to work rather then be with me then fine. She can have a relationship with someone who is at the same level of success as her or less.

[abc3643]

I understand your situation.
You were bitching about weekends.

You need to move on; consider becoming a Mormon or a MGTOW/Trumpster.

[abc3643]

You know, this in your update:

" I just don’t care about her career at all. Her getting fired would make me happy. She can’t be there for me and I can’t be there for her."

really pisses me off because all it does is illustrate a fantastic amount of immaturity and narcissism akin to a 2-year-old.

You really need to do some growing up.

That said, your destiny with her will end in one of 3 ways:
1. You dump her, before marriage.
2. She dumps you, before marriage.
3. You get divorced.

There's no "happily ever after" for you with any normal woman until you get an attitude adjustment and grow the fuck up.

HOWEVER, if you really want to go that route, consider getting a foreign wife. That's what Trump does since modern US women can't stand him. Or, get some religiously devout woman who wants to be "traditional" (that's bullshit...). In that case, you'll get to be the dictator that you want to be and she will be OK with that... until she grows up too.

[slatyb]

Does she have a job, or a career? Asking a woman to give up her career is an enormous ask. If the relationship ends, the lost experience and the gap will cost her hundreds of thousands of dollars in lifetime earnings.

What does she do that requires her to work so many hours? Why don't you hire someone to do all the chores? Have someone come in weekly to clean and do the laundry. That just leaves cooking and shopping. You can shop together.

[Asker]

Yes she does have a job. The relationship was not going to end. We are suppose to get married in 4 months. Unfortunately the relationship is ending because she wants to work.

She works some corporate job. Her company has aggressive deadlines she wants to meet and needs to resolve issues that randomly come up from customers (sometimes on weekends). Also lots of meetings she needs to attend. Hiring a maid doesn’t solve the issue. The issue is her work. I am spending less time with her because of her work. For example I want to go on a date night or day trip she can’t come because of work. I want to do something with her after work she can’t because of work. Last year I was buying a new car and wanted to include her in the process, she couldn’t do that

[hellorambo]

I don’t know if it’s common in your country, but just hire a house maid / manservant or two to do all of the cleaning. It’ll cost you probably 20USD to 25USD per hour each, but you won’t need to worry about cleaning again. This way your fiancé won’t need to quit her job and you won’t spend all of your free time cleaning, you can spend your full 30% with your fiancé.

[RavenDarkheart]

Like someone else here said you don’t. If she wants to keep working your choice is marry her knowing that is part of who she is or you find a girl that wants to be a housewife. Why is it some guys think once they marry a girl she is his servant to just stay home and lay down for him at the snap of his fingers?

[bobalife]

It’s selfish. You can’t force someone to stop their passion and career for what you only want. A good partner will be supportive of each others wants/needs; careers, and choices (as long as it’s not unhealthy/bad decisions). I think you guys just need to make better compromises and quality time if you wanna be together.

[RebelinSteel]

You are incompatible, she does not want someone controlling, she likes the freedom work gives her. Break up and get looking for a girl that wants you to do the income and she looks after you like your mum did.

[JacobJordan]

Move on mate she is trying way to hard to maintain her independence when you are getting married. Independence doesn't exist in a marriage and anyone who thinks it does isn't in a good relationship. You depend on her and she depends on you. Plain and simple. Her refusal to see reason is a clear sign for you to bail asap. Especially because she is liable to divorce you later just so she can steal half your stuff.

[DextroShade]

She sounds one of these stupid feminist career women. You need to kick her to the curb and find a feminine woman who will submit to your masculine authority as there are plenty of women who would love to be housewives. Whatever you do, DO NOT MARRY THIS WOMAN!

[exitseven]

I do not know what she calls a career but maybe you need to rethink the whole thing. Having a wife that wants to work outside the home all the time is obsessed with her career. You will be a distant second. That is a red flag to me

[Asker]

Ya it is something that feels weird to me too. It honestly feels like she is giving priority to her job more then me. I guess this also translates to her giving priority to her job over a family, even though the family doesn’t benefit at all from her working.

[DextroShade]

A woman cannot serve two masters: she has to choose either to serve you or serve her employer and obvious which one she chose.

[IslaTheWitch]

It's pretty natural that people want to grow. If money is not a problem, hire someone to do the chores and focus on your wife, who likes to do a career. I can't see anything wrong with it.

[Asker]

The problem is I don’t get time to hangout with her much even if I get a maid. In fact a maid would free up a lot of my time, not so much hers.

[IslaTheWitch]

But a happy wife is better than an unhappy one. Maybe you can pick her up from work? Or any other way to have some time together? Being in a relationship means you have to be creative

[Asker]

I need a little more then time in the car to be honest.

This is what usually happens, lets say I want to watch this movie and try out this new restaurant we never been to. It is pretty far out, so the drive is like 2-3 hours total, movie 2-3 hours, restaurant 1-2 hours. It is pretty much an all day event but we can’t do it because of a bunch of chores that pile up on the weekend or she has work. What usually happens is I am completely free on the weekend, still want to do it so I end up either doing it myself or with someone else.

To even get time for us to sit at home and watch a movie or show is difficult because of her long hours that I end up watching it alone.

[IslaTheWitch]

The problem is, what you want is only part of the relationship. Ask her what she wants except of her career... how she wants to spend her free time. What she likes...

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

Nope, time to cut and run. This is a mismatch of basic life goals. You want a traditional marriage and like most western women, she doesn't.

You need to find someone wanting traditional relationship roles.

[Guido]

You are wrong o this on dude. She has a desire to work and get out and enjoy what she is doing. Maybe she will quit when there are kids to raise but for now she likes what she does. You will not change that.

Women who desire to be only housewives will suck you dry. They are typically users and will spend your money like crazy and when you complain, will divorce you and settle for a nice alimony check every month.

It sounds like you have a good woman, Don't mess it up.