An age gap relationship: 25F + 50M?

[Anonymous]

Firstly I'm not with him for his money and he's not rich anyway. As someone hurt by her own family, I really enjoy the way he protects me. For the first time I feel like I have someone to call my family. He is lonely too, wants to have a family. We get along well, have fun a lot.

But I just feel like I'm not enough for him sometimes. He is very experienced in everything, and naturally he had many relationships before me but I didn't. Sometimes I'm afraid that my inexperience will make me seem inadequate in his eyes.

Would it bother you to be in a relationship with a young woman who doesn't have much experience in life, also romantically and sexually?

Updates

3 mo

Can't understand some men's disgusting comments. Don't answer if you don't like my question. I delete your answers.

[WindAtMyBack]

It's possible for it to work. But there are plenty of real issues that you seriously need to consider. You already mentioned some of it.

At 50+ he is thinking about retirement. Much of his prime years of life are behind him. At 25 you are thinking abut your life ahead of you, and maybe beginning a career. You two are at opposite ends of that stage of life.

Over 50 and wanting kids and raising a family is a big red flag in my book. This sounds like someone who missed their chance and is dreaming of something that should have happened in the past. I don't know how much over 50 he is, but by the time he gets with someone and gets around to having kids, he won't be able to keep up with those kids. He won't have the energy or strength to. He probably won't have the desire to even if he thinks he will.

For that reason, I think he is not being realistic. It makes me think he's living in the past. He can't turn back the clock no matter how much he'd like to.

Then there are the genetics and possible birth defects due to his age. The science is still young on older men having kids, but there is growing evidence that it's not a good idea.

You two are in different places in your life. Do you really think he will be joining your life and hanging around people your age? You will be joining his life that is at a much more advanced stage. You will skip right past important stages of life. Plus it will never be equitable. He will always have FAR more experience in life than you do. If he includes you in decision making, he is only going through the motions.

"Sometimes I'm afraid that my inexperience will make me seem inadequate in his eyes."

He wouldn't say it to your face, but I don't see how it's possible for someone his age to think of you in any other way. I don't mean inadequate. I mean young and inexperienced - because that's exactly what you are. How do you think that will work out when it comes time for important decisions?

He missed his chance when he was younger. He can't recover those years. He WILL start having health issues, if not already. His chances of dying increase a lot after 50. If he has kids, there is a very real possibility that his kids will lose their father at a young age.

You won't be handing the jar for him to open. He'll be handing it to you.

If he is lonely, he should find someone closer to his age.

If you really want to do this, and he really wants to do this, then MAYBE it can work. But you need to have a very serious discussion about the very real difference in age. I've only touched on a little of it. Don't believe this nonsense than age is just a number. And don't believe the nonsense that love conquers all.

He understands ( or should understand ) the differences that age makes far more than you do. He should take the initiative, and bring it up, and really talk about it. If he does not, then it's one more reason to think he is living in the past.

[zeitgeist057]

It doesn't sound like any of your fears/insecurities are based on anything he's said or done, it' all conjecture.

I'm 46, my girlfriend 23. We love each other, and are very appreciative of what each of us brings to the table. I was just talking about her to my brother the other day, and he was saying I must do a lot of mentoring and teaching, which is true to an extent. But I pointed out that she also teaches me, not because she has so much experience, but just the way her personality is. I love nurturing her and supporting her growth (not financially, but emotional support, to be clear for those people who always want to insist it has to be a sugar relationship if there is an age gap), and I feel like she supports me (emotionally) as well.

My advice would be stop sabotaging the relationship with these insecure conjectures and enjoy what you have. Focus your energy instead on the good things you can do for each other, and what you love about each other.

Not having experience is not an issue. I LOVE showing my girlfriend new things that she's never done. I have traveled to dozens of countries, she's never left the USA. We are both very excited to travel together, and discover some new country. I feel happy to be able to teach her things or give her inspiration and insight to improve her life.

[HelpfulWoman]

When you are old enough/young enough i guess to be a CHILD of his, it should be an immediate red flag!

[imtiaz45]

An age gap relationship, such as a 25-year-old female (25F) with a 50-year-old male (50M), can present both challenges and advantages. Differences in life experiences, interests, and cultural references may arise, impacting communication and shared activities. Social perceptions may also influence how the couple is viewed by others. However, if both individuals share mutual respect, communication, and compatible life goals, age differences may become less significant. The older partner may offer stability, wisdom, and financial security, while the younger one may bring energy, freshness, and new perspectives. Successful relationships thrive on understanding, compromise, and acceptance of each other's individuality. Open communication about expectations, future plans, and addressing potential challenges can contribute to the overall health and longevity of the relationship, allowing the couple to navigate the complexities of an age gap with mutual satisfaction.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/TbeX17STel4

[BoopBoopBeep]

I can accept it for other people. I can't imagine I'd have enough shared life experiences, when I don't even have many shared life experiences with most people my own age. What I think isn't worth shite though... if he's happy that's what matters.

[Drew-1990]

The inexperienced would not bother me at all. I'm honestly not experienced for my age either. Me personally I would never do a 25-year difference ever. But if the man is with you currently, I don't think he cares about your own experience, he knows he has more experience than you and if he cared about that, he probably wouldn't go after someone so much younger.

[lightbulb27]

Boring, hard to communicate with, different interests, difficult is a problem. otherwise, not problems. I'm sure he's happy to have young girlfriend. but if you are concerned talk to him.

[Berethor]

He lucky, inexperience is one of the reason men like young women, also better looks.

[catsmemoir]

A 25 year age gap would bother me. I wouldn't be comfortable with it personally.

[LiamJHayden]

If you are consenting adults it is only your business.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like my current relationship (20 year difference) I try and talk to her all time and reassure her all the time.

[laly520]

prolly won't work out