If they didn't end well, would you say that it was always the other person's fault mainly? A mixture of both people at fault? Or nobody at fault, just not compatible enough.
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Would you say you've had more good relationships or bad relationships overall?
Depends on your criteria for what constitutes a relationship. I call it a relationship if it was a sexual relationship and we dated exclusively for at least a few months.
Ruby was 18 years older than me. I enjoyed being with her but we both knew the age difference would be insurmountable. I was 23 and she was 41. Good while it lasted.
Pat and I dated in 1979, lived together, and then broke up when she started missing her ex-husband. Years later, we reconnected and were together for four years. She cheated on me with another woman. I realized that she was simply incapable of committing herself to a relationship. Can't call it good when it ended with her cheating.
Evelyn was a fun, slightly older (36F, 25M) woman, but a periodic prescription pill addict. I didn't have great expectations for us but it was fun while it lasted.
Debby and I were married for 17 years. One year after we were married, she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. She became very selfish, got addicted to prescription drugs, and was in a psychiatric hospital a few times. We had a few good years but far more bad years. After our divorce, she moved in with her sister and brother-in-law. After a few years, her sister died and Debby married her brother-in-law two weeks later!
Oksana was a recurring participant in my life. We dated, went our separate ways, reconnected, etc. She was fun and the sex was great, but she thought that her grandchildren should always be her highest priority and I got whatever time and energy she had left. At the time, she gave me what I needed. Good.
Joni was a first grade teacher and she tried to treat me like one of her students, so we didn't last long. Very smart lady and very good sex.
I met Lynn in 2008, married her in 2011, and we divorced in 2015. She had a daughter who hated me and Lynn felt she was a bad mother who needed to "make up" for being bad by always giving her children whatever they wanted. That included our divorce. I'm not angry but I wish that I had never met her.
I met Ivy after Lynn and I divorced and we dated for two years. We were extremely compatible in most ways, and I loved her. She liked me "a lot" but she never loved me. Good in so many ways but not what I wanted long term.
I met Teala in 2018 and we lived together for two years. Wish I hadn't done that, although the sex was great.
I met Helen in 2020 and we will be married on April 27. Take all the good parts of the women from the other relationships I've had and put them together in one woman and that is Helen. I am confident that my search is over.
So I appreciate the good in most of the relationships and they all molded me into the person that I am today, undoubtedly a better partner for Helen than I was for anyone in my younger years.
More or less good. One them was pretty crazy at times, but she was young and damaged. We didn’t go the distance but I like to think I was a bridge for her to reach a more stable life.
The one I’m in should be awesome, just everything is fucked right now, so it’s abysmal in some senses, but it’s not like it’s anyone’s fault, just wicked unfortunate circumstances.
Most of the others have been pretty casual. I don’t think anything was ever serious enough to even begin becoming unhealthy. One gal was a bit of a mess, but it didn’t really spill onto me, I just was kinda like “yeah…. this one’s definitely temporary”, haha.
I don’t know, I’m super easy-going with women, I don’t think I’m too much of a hassle to deal with, and I’m pretty respectful by default. I’m for sure not perfect, but I never really gave much cause for anyone to seriously trip. Little moments of incompatiblity sparring, but that’s really all. Never serious enough to have hurt feelings over. Usually they ended upon the girl graduating college and leaving, so things were always amicable. As long as you like who I am, I sure won’t endeavor to give anyone any trouble.
There were a lot of things that went wrong and that is why they didn't work out. Either they weren't that intersted or attracted or they were too much of a Mama's Boy, Papa's Boy, Abusive, Homeless, Addicted to Drugs, just wanted to use me for sex, or an ego boost, someone to cheat with, etc. etc. etc!
Bad overall. In total I’ve had 6 relationships, excluding my current one. And out of those 6, only one was ended by my own choice, not because the other person did anything wrong. But the other 5 relationships ended due to me being cheated on or being abused.
I've only been in one lol for us it was mental health issues on his end that happened to develop after we had been together for 7 years already. If not for that I think we'd still be together.
Mostly good, ended on good terms. Most of my relationships ended because of distance. I had to travel to new cities a lot in my early 20s so a lot of the relationships I made along the way turned into LDRs and my girlfriends and I both lost interest keeping them going.
I had only one really bad breakup. For that one, I think we were both at fault and both quite immature at the time.
For the one that was so bad (rollercoaster relationship always in danger of flying off the rails), I definitely had my share of immaturity there. Yet she was diagnosed as bipolar and required antidepressants and mood stabilizers all the time to keep her manic episodes under control. I thought I could be patient enough to deal with it but I lost my patience completely one day and that was the end of it.
I went through hell when I dated Satin herself 2007-2009... Since then a few crazies, one I had to get a court order against, but overall since 2009 I'd say 15 years of dating great and incredible women. Very happy with those relationships...
And... The court order girl was super hot... I definitely still think about her before bed sometimes! 🔥
Definitely good for me, not had any psychos apart from one. How they thought of me likely a different view point lol. The endings were on the whole mutual and just other stuff got in the way, we sort of knew they were not THE relationship.
had two girlfriends during school years... high-school and college, we were younger and we also were good friends before we became an item, so yes, we completed those cycles in very good terms rather than breaking up in ugly ways (both are still great friends of mine)
also had two other girlfriends in my late 20's... and they were also great relationships but, because of not having compatible goals and paths in life looking forward, the mutual decision was to again complete a cycle rather than breaking up bitterly or having one sacrifice their dreams just so the other could meet theirs and only the other, so while we're not exactly friends, we're still in touch from time to time and in friendly terms
so, when it comes to relationships I only know of amazingness... lol
so far anyway (crossing fingers and knocking on wood)
From a self growth and lesson learned perspective I would say absolutely incredible. I learned a lot from each relationship, the last one learning the most from.
But from what the relationships actually where? Except for one, they where all bad.
Don’t feel bad mandy, I view them from a glass half full perspective. While going through them and recovering from them it hurt like hell, but it forged me into having thicker skin and a more comprehensive understanding about dating in general.
I suppose you can say I learned the hard way, better than never learning ever. Or at a later age.
I've had bad ones, except the one I'm in now, it's almost been 2 years and it's my longest, the second longest was 6 months, she cheated and said she wasn't attracted to me or in love with me for the last month we were together, I guess it could be partly my fault somewhere but I would say for the most part it's definitely not me or it's been mutual
@TenderFantasy Well, they weren’t toxic and I don’t actively hate my exes. Just because we weren’t a forever couple doesn’t mean the relationship wasn’t enjoyable.
I've never found a woman that didn't have an array of emotional problems. I like a few of them, but it was impossible to date them. A girl is her own worst enemy.
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