How should I react to this?

[Anonymous]

I have a neighbour I get along with. He is a 48 year old man who just moved next to us last month. He has a girlfriend who lives in a different place but she comes to visit sometimes. Yesterday night, I saw him with a younger girl kissing. I thought it was weird, so asked him in the morning who was it, and he said he's been seeing younger women aged 18 to 24 behind his gfs back for years now. They been together for 10 years but at this point he's desiring young better looking women. His girlfriend is over 50 and he's not enjoying her body anymore. I told him it's his thing but feel really weird now. I don't really speak to his girlfriend so I don't care about her, but its just strange to me.

What would you do in my place?

[Oliverlogan263]

This situation would make me feel really awkward and uncomfortable. Here's what I would do:

- I wouldn't continue confronting my neighbor about his cheating. That's really his personal business with his girlfriend.

- I'd be polite but more distant with the neighbor from now on. I wouldn't want to get involved in their relationship drama.

- If I bumped into his girlfriend, I wouldn't say anything to her about seeing him with other girls. That could really hurt her and cause problems.

- If the girlfriend directly asked me about him, I might gently suggest talking to him about how his actions are affecting their trust. But wouldn't reveal details.

- I'd avoid being alone with the neighbor to not give the wrong impression or get dragged into anything inappropriate.

- For my own peace of mind, I'd try not to dwell on their relationship issues. But would watch out to not get used by the neighbor.

- If things escalated between them where police/authorities needed to involved, then I'd cooperate but otherwise stay out of their business.

The main things are staying neutral, keeping a polite distance from the neighbor, and not blindsiding the girlfriend with hurtful information unless necessary. Not much else I could or should do about their situation.

[BadApple69]

Nothing for you to do. I can understand his desire for younger ladies and as long as his 50 year old girlfriend isn’t a friend of your then let the guy have his fun. She (his girlfriend) isn’t always around to fulfill his needs then thats her problem. And honestly you don’t know what she is doing while she isn’t with him. As someone who is around his age I can tell you, the younger girls just want to have sex, the older ones just want to get married.

[IslaTheWitch]

nothing, you witnessed a part of the private life of this man. Their relationship is their private thing. They are adults.

[Asker]

I doubt you would say this if your daughter was one of these girls

[IslaTheWitch]

one of my daughters is an adult already, and I respect her life choices. I taught her what I could, and now, she lives her own life and creates her own experiences.

I don't think any of those girls were forced to meet this man.

[Asker]

No but he could have manipulated them? 18 is very young

[IslaTheWitch]

but an adult already so no law tools in hand... parents also can do nothing...

[Asker]

You actually think it's fine? You know age of consent is lower than 18?

[IslaTheWitch]

it is not about "fine". It's about two ADULTS. Feel free to meddle in their affairs, but be aware you have NO TOOLS to do anything. Law says 18 y. o. are grown up enough to make their own choices, and no one can stop them, at least as long as they don't break the law...

Personal opinion is weaker than law...

[Asker]

I am saying in many countries age of consent is lower than 18. Just because it's legal doesn't mean it's right

[IslaTheWitch]

no one says you can't have a personal opinion, but the law is the law... so what do you want to do? call police? parents? They can do nothing because the girl is an adult... It can be morally unacceptable, but as long as the law says it's OK, you have no tools to do anything. At least in an official way, but playing in a grey area can put you in trouble.

[Asker]

So if they were under 16 but legal you'd still be ok with it?

[IslaTheWitch]

as I wrote earlier, my personal opinion is weaker than the law. I can be OK or not, but if the law says it's OK I can only request the change of law but can't act against it

[Asker]

So what's your personal opinion

[IslaTheWitch]

I keep the right to not publish it

[Asker]

Because you are fine with it.
I disagree

[IslaTheWitch]

it's your assumption

[Asker]

No it's a fact

[IslaTheWitch]

I didn't present my personal opinion, so whatever you write about it is your assumption

[Asker]

I know your personal opinion

[IslaTheWitch]

first in the world mind reader? Congratulations :D

[Asker]

I know your secret😉

[IslaTheWitch]

I have none, but I don't want to break your bubble :D

[Asker]

You know that girls get hornier sooner than guys right ☺️

[IslaTheWitch]

do they?

[Asker]

Considering girls develop few years sooner biologically it makes sense

[IslaTheWitch]

if you say so

[Anonymous]

Nothing? It’s none of your business.

[andreasderjuengere]

I would do... nothing.
It's HIS business.