Why do women change after relationships?

[Anonymous]

Like came out of a relationship where she was abusive both verbally and physically and basically I was the villain in peoples eyesights if I said anything back or tried to defend myself. We were driving to the grocery store and she started bullying and making fun of me in my car and I stated you can stop or I can pull over and let you out she was like I’m not getting out and I responded that’s fine if you think that cause I can have the police remove you. So she continues to bully me I pull over to the side wall and ask her to exit my vehicle. She does then she walks home calls her mom and says she’s breaking up with me and that she can’t be with someone that would just drop her off and force her to walk home completely disregarding the fact she was relentlessly bullying me. So this wasn’t the person I seen at the start of the relationship but maybe the signs were there and I had on blinders. She continued to make my life worse cause she turned everyone against me. So if your score keeping she physically hit me, verbally attacked me, turned everyone against me with lies or playing victim

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang bro, that sounds like a really messy situation. Relationships can definitely change people sometimes, both good and bad.

A few things that might be happening with your ex:

- She may have underlying issues like anger/insecurity that only came out over time as the new relationship feelings wore off. Some people put on a front at first before their true colors show.

- Being in an abusive relationship can mess with your head and make you feel like you have to be in control/put the other person down to feel better about yourself. Doesn't excuse her actions though.

- Turning others against you is a classic manipulation tactic to make herself the victim. Easier than dealing with her own actions.

- You probably saw what you wanted to see at the start since you liked her. It's hard to see red flags when you're falling for someone.

Best thing is to just cut contact and don't let her continue playing mind games. You don't deserve to be treated like that. Focus on you for now. In time people will see the truth about what really went down. Hang in there man, there's healthier girls out there who won't pull that stuff.

[Bill746644]

You've got to find your self worth. When someone is disrespectful to that degree, there's no coming back from it, you've got to walk away and don't look back. Always put yourself first don't let toxic people into your life. You have control over who you interact with

[Laciejordan]

In the beginning, a lot of girls will put on a show for the guy, if she really likes him. She’ll accept him for his faults and never really criticize him for things he does that bother her. As the relationship grows, she Will change and start asking/expecting the guy to change certain behaviors for her. I’m definitely guilty of it and so are some guys, but it’s nearly not as common with guys. Guys, hope the girl never changes and girls, hope the guy will change. It’s the dynamics of a relationship.

[Asker]

She didn’t want me to have a sense of individuality like I was no longer really allowed to do things that I did on my own when I was single for example if I wanted to watch a sports game I wouldn’t be able to cause she doesn’t like sports

[Nikki1989]

For the same reasons, some men change. The true person comes out eventually.