Have you ever had a friend or a significant other who was mercurial, or bipolar?

[Extraterrestrial1999]

Yes

No

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Bipolar and diagnosed long ago in my 20s. We even got engaged to be married.

I was able to handle her wild mood swings and manic episodes when we were just dating. I even came to love the highs since she would get so energetic and happy, literally jumping up and down on a bed with excitement.

Then you'd get the downs where she would run away and cry and sometimes disappear for entire days, not responding to me and then just show up again as though nothing happened.

I thought I was mature enough to handle it. Turns out I wasn't. Just months before our marriage, we started living together and I just lost my patience completely and lashed out at her once and called her a bitch after she hit a major low. Also I never saw how low she could get until we started living together; on dates she hit lows but not to the same extent. After that, she said she doesn't recognize me anymore and broke off our marriage just a week before our wedding day.

Was one of the most traumatic experiences for me. I think nowadays I could deal with it if I did that over again. I've gotten the hang of becoming very Stoic and maintaining my inner calm (if I lose it, I'll generally regain it within minutes and before I say anything too bad). Yet I wasn't mature enough back then in my 20s.

My wife is so much better-suited for me though. After I finally got over the broken heart, I started finding a company of really good people and found my wife among them. She's the polar opposite as someone who radiates inner calm and joy and never has epic mood swings let alone even mild ones.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

On top of being bipolar, she had an extreme case of anemia so her hair was always falling out and she was prone to faint a lot. We once went to Disney Land and it was just too much for her so she fainted and I carried her back home in the snow. Both her mental and physical health were pretty bad. I fell in love with the idea that I could take care of her.

[lightbulb27]

wow! That be severe. Maybe she had PMS DD plus emotional trauma. you were very patient to handle that. too bad there isn't better education for men to be able to understand what is going on. lucky to find serene wife!

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

@lightbulb27 Cheers and I got very lucky indeed! 🤝

[lightbulb27]

oh yea, you love a "wounded duck" don't ya:) That speaks about your personality and early life experiences. that girl needed a lot of help, hope she found her way. You did well to move on.
You can read up on "caregiver personality". It's a thing and sounds like it is you. It's me somewhat... e. g. a desire to save others.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

@lightbulb27 I used to be unhealthily drawn to those. I think it's because I might have been a wounded duck myself in some way. A lost soul finding comfort in another lost soul, that sort of thing.

Checking out the caregiver personality now and finding some interesting articles. I think something in my case is that I've always been driven by ethics more than anything else. My dream wasn't to become the rich guy or the most popular guy but the good guy like the heroes I watched in all my favorite shows growing up. I thought the "wealthiest" man is the one who can die and reflect back on his life and say he was good to people more often than not.

Sometimes I wonder if it's just vanity at the end of the day. 😅

[lightbulb27]

exactly, and that's my scenario... I think in essence, we want to save others as we wanted to be saved, projecting our wounds onto others, but in a good way. it means you have empathy.
I think if you live to your greater purpose of giving back and helping others then you'll find great spiritual rewards, which is what we turn to as get older... e. g. what was my purpose and leaving some meaning behind. Easiest way to do that is make the most spiritually of every encounter.
yes, Bible Ecclesiastes, wealthiest man at the time, talks about vanity... most of life seems vanity. Money buys experience and access but not real value. I think that the issue... what you value spiritually (heart).
good stuff! You're on a mission from God...😜

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

@lightbulb27 It's a tough one sometimes. I let myself down when I mistreat others. Quit drinking recently since I was turning into a bit of a drunken ass over the pandemic just blurting out most unfiltered and incoherent thoughts like a deranged old man and even starting to have bizarre mood swings of my own while drunk.

Hoping I'm on a decent path now all sobered up. My biggest issue these days is laziness and impatience.

Anyway, cheers to striving for goodness! 🤝

[lightbulb27]

drugs will do that... they will expose other stuff going on. thus I don't touch it.
Listen to the emotions and write them down. It sounds like you are slowly healing from traumas of the past. Some maybe were passed onto you.
Yea me too, I'm hard on myself when I fail to care for another. Thats partyly or mostly a religious conviction but is part of my value and character. I feel bad if I neglect others I could offer some value (lift up their spirits, etc.).
yes, time to get re-motivated. get a dirt bike.. haha:)

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

@lightbulb27 I lack a religious faith of my own although this type of thinking always inspired me:

There's something of an idea of eternity even if I lack belief in an afterlife. Our actions still cascade and have a rippling effect through time as I see it, and that's where I see good deeds having positive ripples through time, to be remembered well in loved ones (although this is the thought that makes me always worry if it's vanity that ultimately drives me: Pride is definitely one of the vices I struggle with a lot).

[lightbulb27]

That's exactly right how I see it. We are light/life and we impact space and time for eternity with our free choices. I went to Christ in early 30s and makes a lot of sense to me now, didn't back then. It's really same ideas, humanity is damaged and propagating the damage... need to cleanse the spirit and do the work to save others... except Jesus realized this world is not saveable and so offered a path to another one, but to rescue as many souls as possible. It's a great mission! I'm reading Quantum physics now and it's shocking to hear what physicists are saying about how things work... like if have enough energy could create your own universe, quantum entanglement, etc. makes me more secure what is recorded long ago, is correct. I don't know enough about other regions to evaluate those. It is fun to think about the big picture... and convicting.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

@lightbulb27 Almost all quantum physics flies way over my head. Although with respect to quantum indeterminacy, I want to favor Einstein for purely uninformed aesthetic reasons:
miro.medium.com/.../1*tpiYrKfrO86ev1oPKaYnYw.jpeg
And attribute it all to either hidden variables unaccounted for or perturbations in measurements. That kind of randomness at the sub-atomic level that has to express itself in terms of probability to describe behaviors, if it is truly indeterministic, is just plain ugly to me. I want to conceive the universe as "designed" in a very orderly way.

[lightbulb27]

It's fun to think it through and to know Einstein was deeply challenged with Bohr and others. To think if it was designed, we are part of it... and what was that designer. people are building computers based on these theories now... cool stuff. fun times.

[Avicenna]

I had one girlfriend who had Borderline Personality Disorder, which is sometimes confused for Bipolar. You don't want to date a Borderline.

[DeeDeeDeVour]

I have a few friends and relatives that are.

[RebelinSteel]

Yes I went to school with a couple and also have friends I play sports with etc. also dated a girl.

[Nikki1989]

Yes, he is bipolar.

[CozyCoffin]

Not that I remember.

[NathanDavis]

nope