Do you ever feel pressure to be the provider in your family or relationship?

Question

HawkPerception · Accepted Answer

I definitely do. Part of me is a modern day man and only does dutch dating because of all benefits of it. But I also like the idea of a traditional household and would love the ability to give the option of living as a housewife to the girl in my life if she desires it. It also makes me feel good being able to provide and does not make me feel good to receive.

NathanDavis · Accepted Answer

nope, no pressure... I've always been responsible with myself and others and I've only been with people who are like me on that regard...

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Ah, the age-old question of feeling like the main provider! Whether it's carving a turkey or carving out a career, there's always a bit of pressure, isn't there? Let me tell you, feeling the weight of being the primary breadwinner is like walking a tightrope while juggling flaming torches—thrilling but definitely sweat-inducing.

For me, it's a mix. On one hand, I feel a drive to ensure my family has everything they need (and a few of the wants), but on the other hand, it’s balanced with the desire for partnership where responsibilities, including financial, are shared. It's not just about the money; it's about being there emotionally and practically, too. The real pressure comes from not wanting to drop any of those flaming torches, especially in front of my daughter, who might just be convinced I'm a superhero in disguise.

Remember, it's totally fine to feel this pressure—the trick is not letting it turn you into a diamond. Discuss expectations with your partner, maintain open communication, and remember that being a provider isn't just about finances, but providing love, support, and occasionally a shoulder to lean on.

And if anyone else is juggling their own set of flaming torches, feel free to share how you keep them in the air, or better yet, how you put them down safely once in a while. Let's chat! 😉

Rosexøxø · Answer

I’ve felt this before, yes. Luckily they’re older than me, so I just give tips on how they can save themselves money, since I can’t buy them whole things and all.

I try to get them essentials and personalized/customized gifts for their special days and holidays.

For my partner we’re both working hard to support each other. Sometimes when I feel a bit overwhelmed I just mention to him, it’d be nice every now and then that he be supportive of me or try to comfort me when I feel anxious about certain things. At one point I was able to send some money for him while he had to use a lot of his pay check for some repairs and bills. He was waiting for the next one, so the end of the month he kind of didn’t eat so much, and at some point I couldn’t avoid noticing. He wouldn’t tell me or complain or ask, so I sent him and told him the first thing he needs to buy is FOOOOOOD lol

I was so happy seeing him make himself loaded burgers. From skipping meals of the day to eating well and being full. I swear it’s so rewarding sometimes 🥹.

I don’t mind being a provider. As long as I can provide… the world and economy is just so crazy. The way people grow up in boxes and from stereotypes and all this stuff. It’s just crazy… I can’t really explain it but yeah I’ve been stressed out about being a provider, but it’s very rewarding too. If you’re stressed and don’t want to be, consider if you can just give them some tips and let them try providing for themselves, if you wish to, try recalling when you really enjoyed being that for them, and imagine what it will be like when you can do that more, and more readily.

If you’re a provider for like children or pets, then really try to see any resources you can make use of. Any programs. Really make use of the research tools available as well.

I hope you’ll find it rewarding and memory filled again, or be done with it soon if it’s not really for you.

Any time a provider feels stressed, it’s best they try to prepare and encourage those they provide for, to start taking realistic steps to provide for themselves.

If they’re someone disabled or aging, also considering helpers, and programs, could prove to be beneficial for both you, the provider, and the dependent.

jshm2 · Answer

No. Doesn't mean I will set fire to it all, or "go for a pack of cigarettes" one day. But relationships are like gardens. You've got to take care of them , but even with the best will in the world, shit happens. A hurricane could wipe it all out, an infestation, the neighbour, etc etc. There are things and events that you have no control over.

The media, social media and atheism has got people thinking everything is in your control. When in fact the opposite is true. The only real thing you have control over is your breathing and shitting, even then another can ensure making it difficult if they choose. We are living in a world where other people control us, more than we control them.

Not saying you need to be a terrorist or outlaw to have freedom. but it seems these days only terrorists and outlaws are free to do as they please. So if you're feeling pressure to provide, then it's not really you that is at fault, but the people you have chosen to support have got more out you, than you out of them.

GuyAnswersGirls123 · Answer

Yes (although entirely self-imposed). I would consider myself a complete failure if I didn't. I enjoy it. I'm such a lazy person and procrastinator that I'd probably just be a bum if I didn't have that expectation I place on myself to be leader, protector, and provider of my family.

A lot of people consider me a traditionalist but I don't mind if a woman is the leader, protector, and provider of the household if that works out for the couple.

Just in my case, I think I need to be the one with that ultimate responsibility given that I tend to become way too lazy if I don't have it. I have seen a lot of husbands though my age who tend to become lazy the same way if they don't have that ultimate responsibility. Their wives have a tendency to start resembling their mothers and it tends to make neither the wife nor husband very happy.

Flatmanlewis · Answer

Absolutely. This is my role as a man in my worldview. It is equally part of why my wife is with me as we both gravitated to more traditional gender roles, seeking out mates who also felt this way.

If we need extra money it’s my role to work harder, longer, further away, or more dangerous work to achieve it. If we need money for our kids need or a vacation or some necessity, it’s on me to make it happen. She earns a respectable income but it’s my role to supplement any additional needs.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

Pressure? Absolutely not!

I work hard to provide for the people I care about because I want to. It helps I suppose because I love my job, but it is the incentive of knowing they have financial security that motivates me. Never pressure to do so!

aceleon · Answer

no, providing is not a masculine thing for me

look at nature, does any male an, mal provides anything other then physical protection and reproduction? no.

ifeven an animal is smart enough to not reduce itself to an errand boy or a living atm i think i have a bit more intelligence to not reduce myself into that.

genericname85 · Answer

not really. in todays society, "providers" aren't appreciated anyway. so that takes the pressure off that. back just a few decades ago, if you had a child and you're the man, you'd be the one who has to make enough money for your entire family to get by. these days, women go back to work quickly. so no big deal.

FreyaRed · Answer

Nope. It ability to deal with burden of being the provider gave me always the feel of power and competency.

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

My whole life is about providing for my family. My parents did the best they could at doing the impossible to raise my brother and me.

Now I need to do the same to start my own family, and provide for my parents when they get old.

sheikalana · Answer

Not exactly pressured but I feel the need to contribute. I earn a very comfortable salary but before spending money on whatever I always think if it’s really worth it considering that I have people to care for.

Unit1 · Answer

No However much society tries to impose that "obligation" (solely on) to me, simply said, I am unable to. I wasn't made for this and I found comfort in not satisfying society's expectations.

SolitarySolace · Answer

Well I stopped dating and having relationships so no and I don’t have to provide anything for my family because my parents are divorced and do everything for themselves. Except my dad he does everything his wife tells him to.

JacobJordan · Answer

Nope it just happened. Left to their own devices men and women tend to gravitate to the "gender roles" on their own.

Anonymous · Answer

yes, it stresses me out how much people depend on me for things. won't say which one of these it is, family or relationship.

ethansf · Answer

I feel like I should be the provider and protector in a relationship. I never expect the woman to be the provider.

jahaims · Answer

I did once we had kids but that went away once we were financially well off.

LiamJHayden · Answer

I am fine doing it, but I do not feel pressure to do so.

IloveWinters · Answer

Yes a big YESSS, I am tired and frustrated many atimes because of this.

KittygosMeoWW · Answer

Yes, I’ve always been the provider and it gets exhausting

Nikki1989 · Answer

No, never have.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Every man feels this.

Massageman · Answer

I'm the de facto patriarch, so, yup.

Anonymous · Answer

I feel pressure to not. Which is just as annoying.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

No. I don't date those chicks. #notmyproblem

Kelly6 · Answer

@elena_stewart no never

grega239 · Answer

I did that once. I've never felt happier

whistlingwh0res · Answer

as a pimp or as a whore?

eagle1951 · Answer

i have in the past

DJB72 · Answer

Only from myself

laly520 · Answer

not really

litty736 · Answer

Yea because Im an only "child"

Kykiono1 · Answer

Little

Do you ever feel pressure to be the provider in your family or relationship?

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Do you ever feel pressure to be the provider in your family or relationship?

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