Why is it taking so long for people in their 30s to get it together?

Question

Some of you are going to end up alone,

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Accepted Answer

We have a delayed start. Your generation was able to find living-wage paying jobs straight out of high school. Now we’re in a place where the debate over the living wage being $15 has gone on for so long that it’s gone up to $20. We’re all still paying off our college debts, that doesn’t exactly make it easy for us to afford our own place, let alone a home we could make with a partner. I paid $80k for my college education and that was because I had a fuckton of scholarships, that’s still on the cheap end of what most people pay. When you were in your 20’s, I imagine $80k was enough to buy 4 houses, 2 cars, and 3 dogs so you probably would have been able to easily find a place to get comfortable before you started dating.

Also, women probably didn’t have as many rights as they do now, it was pretty much impossible for a woman to live in total independence in the 1950’s when she couldn’t have a bank account or credit card in her name. That only changed in the 70’s. Now that they can, they want better men than just a man who’s not abusive, they want someone who makes their time worthwhile and since men are still complacently following the patterns left behind by your generation so they can learn how to “be a man” that way, they’re often not improving their persons and a lot of men just expect women to take care of them because they never learned how to do it themselves. It’s shameful, really. If you want to say that we’re doing this to ourselves, we’re not. You had an accelerated start to a comfortable life, we are severely delayed by comparison. I imagine most people won’t settle down until their 40’s, which works out well because you can still have babies in your 40’s.

Rosexøxø · Accepted Answer

Oh it’s inflation and crappy world leaders.

From the top half..

then the bottom half has other messsd up people who only have access to crappy stuff who then offer that or project those things and themselves onto others.

The substances. Toxicity. Drama. Trauma.

the laws/ regulations/ many-step-to-get certifications/licenses, and other stuff…

All that clouds a person’s judgement, fills it with confusion/ indecisiveness/ anxiety/ insomnia/ bad (coping) habits/ addictions/ poor taste cycles/ and lack of consciousness. From being high/drunk/ overdosed or contemplating it.

So if the cost of living and means of making a living was less of a top shelf and more of a middle shelf- anddddd parents did some type of enforcing good healthy habits and some ounce of care and also the “popping babies” “PARENTS”/ individuals- if they also stopped piling on to the issue, then there’d be a decrease in unhappy/ people who hit 30s and “still don’t have it together,” and there would be an increase in individuals who make steady progress to it, or simply would be happier and healthier, and have it together before then.

Unfortunate, solvable, and that’s how it stands currently. Not for all. But for a good lot.

The specifications vary across the board and from person to person, but this is the common thread- the red tape and the walking roadblocks who spew toxicity/abuse/high demand eligibility/ lies of changes in policy, and so forth.

Friendlybro79 · Answer

It's confusing to me how the message about younger generations hasn't gotten out. Life starts later for them because they can't afford the same things their parents did at their age. I make a good salary but it took me 39 years to save enough to put a down payment on a smaller home than my parents on a 30 yr mortgage. My dad was able to do this at 28. He was also able to pay it off in 15 years.

Rent here is now on avg about 50% of the avg monthly salary for a not great one bedroom apartment. Rent! and taxes are on an avg home here is closer to 75-80% of the avg monthly salary.

We want kids to get it together then we need to sell them our homes at a reasonable price and unfortunately people selling think that a 75 yr old house that's barely been updated is worth 750k (near me as an ex). I guess when they payed 50k for it they thought people of today's generation would get paid properly to accommodate these inflated housing prices.

That's housing. Housing costs eat so much more of our incomes than last gens. Now, Let's address employee productivity increase to wage increases. Employee productivity over the last 50 years is actually through the roof while wage growth has barely grown adjusted for inflation. This means employees are indeed working more and harder and getting nothing in return.

Getting into a relationship and starting a family isn't easy if you're living with your parents or in a small apartment. Think about it. Women are paid less so if a hetero couple gets together they still have to save roughly 150-200k to have a down payment, closing costs and some emergency fund left over.

Oh you want kids, well guess what, family leave isn't guaranteed, neither is healthcare, so you might not be able to afford paying a hospital to have the child let alone feed it.

No one wants to be alone. This is my take as I'm just old enough to understand where you're coming from, and young enough to feel the pain of millennials, (I'm on the cusp end of gen x siblings are millennials), and I believe your intentions are sincere here.

It was extremely difficult for me to attain some of these things and it's worse for the younger gen. We're not helping enough

ManOnFire · Answer

Because they are living in a world where things are no longer as comfortable and convenient as they were for the older generations who could buy a house, raise a family, go on family vacations, and still afford food at the same time. Younger people of today work two jobs or trying to make a second income more than they ever had to before, and a lot of single people have to rent a room or live with relatives because they can't afford their own place. That's sad that things have to be like this.

As much as I respect my elders, I do have to say they are the reason why today's world is more difficult for people in their 30s, and 20s. It's the elders who are still largely running government and corporations, and setting rules and things that financially oppress people, and making excuses for why this and that has to cost so much. Especially in the supposed richest nation in the world. The elders do all this so that they can stay in comfort until their dying day. They are more than well aware of how hard things are for younger people to get up to where they need to be, and they don't care.

Anonymous · Answer

Everyone thinks they deserve to have everything they want when they want it, and they refuse to make any sacrifices. When you see middle class high school girls with $1300 cell phones and $5000 handbags, and guys driving $80,000 cars, the problem should be obvious.

The reason people could move out at 19 or 20 in the past is because they were willing to live in a tiny studio apartment that had 60 year old fixtures, or share a house with 2 other roommates. Today, people think they have to have a two bedroom apartment with granite counters and stainless appliances or they refuse to live there. People buy brand new cars and pay $1200 a month on an 8 year loan between car and insurance. No one is willing to live poor today to build a better future tomorrow.

And don't get me started on college. It's insane how many people go deep into debt to get degrees that are not relevant to a career, much less a growth career, and just assume that they will get a six figure job when they graduate. Law schools are turning out 6 times the number of lawyers that the market will support, so most law graduates will not find employment as a lawyer - and that's just one example.

Society is a straight up lying to kids, and parents, and most of them believe it and spread the same lies because the lies are more comfortable than the truth. They are blue pill people, caught in the matrix. And those same people don't care if you get screwed - the college already has their money and they already got to indoctrinate you. If you then fail, they won't help you.

AI will be replacing most office jobs in the next 5 to 10 years, and bots will replace repetitive physical jobs. The people who will do well are the people who can do real, physical, complex jobs - i. e., the trades. Just like the South Park episode where the handyman is a multimillionaire. It's already well underway.

Xia1994 · Answer

Everyone's timeline is different and we don't have the same life and we are all different so it doesn't mean that if you're still building or figuring your life out in your 30's you'll die alone.

Some people marry at 40, some people have really good friends/family, some don't even want a lover, every body is different and it ain't no crime. Just because someone is single doesn't mean they are lonely or alone.

finding a lover is not something that is on everyone's radar, and many of us know that single people can be content, healthy and fulfilled with being single.

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

Im starting to agree with people in their 60s people my age are dumb. They all want the most expensive cars. Woman my age want Mac cosmetics oh they want coach , LV , Channel designer $1,000 But not even a dollar inside that bag. My grandmother raised me right. Everytime we walk by Mac store I would say grandma look rich people my grandma would say no sweetie those are just idiots that love to live in debt. Turns out my grandma is right. I knew better to budget plan , I only bought what I needed and to get it at the most cheaper price I could find. Now I own my home paid off and my paid off truck I really don't see myself moving at all why start all over. People my age are spoiled they want luxury life. Oh and I went to trade school I knew better bot to get myself in debt for the next 20 years. My friends blame their financial problems on inflacion ok like inflation told you to get in debt woth a brand new car.

Anonymous · Answer

Everything is far more expensive relative to entry level wages than they were 30 or even 20 years ago. You have to work several times longer to earn enough for even basics like food & shelter.
For guys its even worse during the 90's schools changed how they educated to better appeal to girls. This had the effect of driving away the boys from such education which simply no longer appealed to them.

This result was covered up and ignored and those same boys basically collapsed to the point for a decade now Women have made up 60%+ of those who make it to collage.
Other problems for boys are in the media since that time has become rather devoid of traditional male role-models, just as the same population of has seen fewer and fewer fathers at home.

So yes boys are doing very poorly, yet until around a decade ago nobody could even bring it up.

superchan2011 · Answer

People get their shit together at different stages of their lives versus other people. Society wants us to believe that we all have to have established careers, relationships and homes by a certain age but the truth is we all complete the race called life at our own pace.

BonzoInBitburg · Answer

Not all. I have 4 kids under 30 and 3 are homeowners in houses worth around $600k. The one that isn't a homeowner, makes the most money and wants to stay mobile as they work their way up the corporate ladder. I didn't pay a dime for their education and I didn't help them out at all buying a house.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Not the case with all the people I know. I don't know ANY single people right now.

BCRanger10 · Answer

Many of them have depression and anxiety, which hurts how they see themselves and others.

I also see a lot of pretty extreme polarization among this generation. There seems to be a lot of mistrust, antagonism, and resentment between Millennial men and women.

And lastly, a lot of them simply don't seem to have let go of their childhoods. They have the bodies of 30-year-olds, but mentally and emotionally, they're still in late high school and early college.

Anonymous · Answer

I think the 80-90 kids were sample guinea pig for technology, investment, cultural movement, idiology changes and just allowed to do whatever we felt like. Some of us I think still enjoy those privileges or have adapted to the new waves. We’ve been around to watch things start and end. But you’re right. Some May end up alone and I actually don’t think you’ll mind either.

NathanDavis · Answer

because of how they were raised... or weren't... by old farts

KostasKouvalis · Answer

I don't think there is a general answer as it's on a case by case basis. And when you say "get it together", do you only mean in terms of a relationship, or in general?

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

In my case I was very immature and stupid when I was younger so that held me back.  I can't speak for the general population because each person is a individual and come from different circumstances.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

They have very little guidance about how to get their lives together.

Iron_Man · Answer

Most people at any age are not together nowadays

Anonymous · Answer

Ending up alone isn't that bad. Better to be and alone than in a relationship and still be alone.

WhyohWhy69 · Answer

I don’t think it is all things considering. I’m in my late 20s. My sister is in her early 30s. She has been through the wringer economically.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

They are a generation raised by TikThot, Snapchat, and Instagram. Of course they are retarded.

DreamLife7 · Answer

Bc you lived in a time where houses were only 5 cents 😂

jahaims · Answer

We were raised in a different world. It's something like 4x more costly to everything on average rn.

Anonymous · Answer

Because women are brain washed by their idiotic/immature friends and feminism, that’s half the battle.

Peridot25 · Answer

Sounds good to me. Just shoot me now.

Booklover_90 · Answer

I ask myself the very same question. 😅

Anonymous · Answer

Because the Boomers set us up.

Anonymous · Answer

Everyone ends up alone, you die in your own arms

U776rf · Answer

Peak oil. You'll die in 6mo

Why is it taking so long for people in their 30s to get it together?

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