After a certain age, would you settle or stay single?

Question

After a certain age if you are still single and can't find your soulmate would you just stay single for the rest of your life or just settle with someone so you won't grow old alone?

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

That is such a negative question so is better to reframe it.

Is it better to take the bird in your hand rather than wait for a different bird in the bush, that may never be there. If ya keep thinking... you end up back at your question, but don't go there.

Focus on the value of the person you have and your ability to appreciate and love that person. thats what it is anyways.

Thinking of "settling" is a statement about your own expectations which may be in fantasy or false, and may be a negation of the true value of the person you have.

This is an element in being content. We humans always quest for more, something new, fresh, exciting.. the best, according to your disposition. You have to manage your humanness.

I one refuses to let go their perfectionist mentality, I'd suggest staying single lest you attempt to perfect the flawed one you have, rather than accepting, honoring or loving them as they are. That be abusive to no end.

Summeroflove · Accepted Answer

I don’t think anyone should settle for someone they aren’t truly in love with. It’s not only bad for the person doing it but it’s worse for someone who is led to believe someone genuinely loves them and they don’t.

It’s better to be alone then with someone you’re not happy with. It’s also just not fair to them.

It wouldn’t be fair for a man or a woman. To pretend to be in love with someone they’re not in love with. Unless both people are honest with one another. Maybe someone finds someone else who can’t find anyone and both people just say they don’t want to die alone… But at the end of the day they could be miserable. But at least they were honest.

If that’s something you want to do. Then be honest about it.

Alwayreckles93 · Accepted Answer

I will speak from experience. When I decided to stop looking for a husband and I given up considerng millenial guys are spoiled mommas boys. I stop dating after I dated a jerk and they were more intrested in dating younger woman. Well a friend of mine invite me to this church gahering dinner event I had no idea I bump into my future husband yeah bumping into someone isn't exactly looking for a husband. Let's just say one day you decide to go to the grocery store you never know what's going to happend you ca even find your future husband at a grocery store. It happened to me when I seriously tough I was way to old.

AmyHew1tt · Accepted Answer

Always pick single over settle. Just don't exclude happening to find the right person along the way.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Aiming to sprinkle some love dust on this tricky topic! 😘 Navigating the love maze can be like searching for a needle in a haystack, right? Finding your soulmate or deciding to ride solo are both perfectly valid choices, each with its own sparkle and shadow. Picture this: settling might seem cozy at first, like a comfy but slightly itchy sweater. However, it might lead to a case of the "what ifs" down the romance road. On the flip side, embracing your fabulous solo status can be liberating, like a solo dance in the rain! It's all about tuning into your heart's playlist. If it plays tunes of independence and self-love, solo it is. But if you feel like sharing your melody, keep searching for that harmonious duet. Either way, love, make sure your choice makes your heart sing! 🎵💖

Avicenna · Answer

Makes more sense to compromise on some things, but not all.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

Single and out there , with young boys 18-25

WindAtMyBack · Answer

No. I think the opposite happened. After a certain age, I lost motivation to look for someone. Not because of anything negative, I totally love women and think they make the world a much better place to live. It just stopped being a priority for me.

If anything, I think I'm a lot more picky than I used to be. Since I'm perfectly fine being single, I can afford to be picky. On the other hand, even though I'm not looking, if the right person came along, I'd romance the heck out of her. If she was the right person, I'd give her my heart.

But no, I would absolutely not settle. I'd walk and be fine with being single.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

I think you can find a soulmate at any age...

I don't plan anything, being alone is not a problem mainly because I'm never truly alone... it sometimes pisses me off but in long-term I appreciate my family and friends

but for sure I wouldn't settle with someone I don't love...

MMelanieM · Answer

I don't think anything should be given a timeline. We are human beings and not robots. we have feelings and living things cannot be alone is my belief. Just get on with your life and do what you love and when you meet someone on your path, give it a chance and don't close any doors. I recently heard of an old couple in their 60's who fell in love and married. Not saying it'll take that long... but you don't have to close the door at all.

HighValue · Answer

According to the US Census Bauru, more women are already single than men and there are 90 men to every 100 women. On top of that, men that have money to travel outside of the USA are more and more finding their partners outside of the USA. American women need to get used to the idea of many of them staying single for life. They can wish and deny it all they want, but in reality, many of them are going to stay single regardless if they want to "settle" or not.

Their bad morals and listening to the lies of feminism have ruined the relationship prospects for many. I have no sympathy for them.

Screenwriter · Answer

"Settling" reeks of long-term regret if you ask me. Unless you feel the person is someone you like, love and can have fun with, what's the point?

And simply because you're not partnered doesn't mean you're alone. Most people have families and good friends to interact regularly with. A SO is ideal, especially when you're older. But if it s not possible, you have to live your life as well as possible.

Bricealan · Answer

Stay single. Been there and had that done to me. A girlfriend in my 20's was going to 'settle' for me, (based on my experiences with her a prior lovers) I knew for a fact that she felt that way, and I knew it and rejected her wanting to get married for that reason.

MrDaveAPSI · Answer

I don't think there's a certain "age" to settle. However, since I don't want to marry or have kids, you kind of have to wonder if I ever actually will "settle".

To me, marriage, is pointless. It's literally a piece of paper, of the state telling you that you're "in a relationship". Once that marriage ends (which a lot do these days, it causes multiple problems, including if you have kids)

Kids are just demon spawn. I don't know why people have kids

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

Some say you should never SETTLE unless you are in a courtroom & others say you should never SETTLE for anything less than the best.

As for a relationship I rather be single versus settling & as for me I rather be with a person for the right reasons instead of the wrong reasons.

236color · Answer

Depends on what you consider "settling". If you are one of these that dismissed out of hand anyone less than 6 feet tall, making less than $100,000, yeah you may need to realign your priorities. Don't, however settle for an addict, an abuser or anyone unwilling to seek help for serious mental illness. Being alone can be better than being with some people.

Amy10223 · Answer

Good question. I would love to have "grown old " with someone years ago. But now I've developed so many habits on my own an like doing what I want to do when I want to, and it's not bad at all. I have a guy who is similarly me, who I think may be interested in pursuing a relationship--but I think he is just like me--likes being alone. At his age, he isn't going to change for anyone, and neither am I.

Chevy1_kb · Answer

Well I'm 35 single broke up with my ex I feel freedom without love but it's also good to be single to I just feel I want hugs and then I say but what if the guy I get with doesn't accept the fact I have a crush on Uma thurman and can't take that away if he doesn't like it it's see yaa later alligator sorry

b_lova · Answer

Please don't feel like this is an attack, but do you have some fears of commitment? You probably are not going to find a soulmate depending on your definition, but you can find a person you have a lot in common with if you are willing to commit to working on a relationship.

To answer your question more directly, I would rather live my life with a great friend than be alone.

HawkPerception · Answer

I have always wanted to settle. My goal has always been to find the girl I want to marry. In every relationship I've had, I was never the one to give up and throw in the towel either. All of them decided to dump me. 2 after 3 years and 1 after 1 year. Maybe it's not in the cards for me.

molonski2 · Answer

So , I just don't think age matters , as life goes in cycles , in your 20s you have this vision of " lasting forever " the reality is , that's simply not going to happen in real life.
Soulmate? Honestly I think that's bullshit , it's just a series of compromise , in life anything can happen , and all those experiences help create who you are.

Things evolve as will relationships and sex at different stages.

Seinna · Answer

Well... do you WANT to grow old alone? If not then keep searching, otherwise just keep an open mind and maybe someone will cross your path.

Sjoerd85 · Answer

If I had not found my partner (I was 34 when I found her), I would have stayed single, but I would keep looking around... You never know what happens.

And better to have no match, rather than a bad match.

Mr_twoface · Answer

If I was still single, I would continue to date and have hookups. If along the way, I would find someone to share the life with, that would be lovely. Otherwise, I would continue until I grow old.

Caramalkisses23 · Answer

Yes. I've only been in 2 relationships and sometimes I feel like I just settle with the first person who talks to me. I'm very mutable so I adjust to just about anyone... So after this relationship- I almost don't even want to try again.

sheikalana · Answer

I'm already married but if I was single I would want to find someone to share my life with. While being single is great I think it must be sad and lonely to spend your days by yourself when older.

82lynx · Answer

I once spoke with a girl who thought she may never find a suitable mate, but that all changed at the ripe old age of 24. She is one of the rare sweet ones so I guess she deserves it, but if she thought she had to wait a long time, then I’m a write-off. Oh well, I’ve dealt with so many nasty ones that I don’t consider them worth that kind of effort.

itsclearlynicholas · Answer

At almost 30 in a few weeks, I'm happily staying single for many many decades ahead 🥰 I will keep all the gold digging women trying to hit on me at bay lol, speaking like a seasoned veteran from past lives lol, into my 30s, I won't be "a gullible guy who fell for a woman" as just another Fool. 👍🏻🙂

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Answer

I’m single until I die and I’m very happy for that at this point. When men settle, their lives improve. When women settle, their lives get worse

Katebfun · Answer

I used to work at a retirement community, people find love again in old age. I'd stay open to love again, like I am now. Just continue to live my best life.

aceleon · Answer

stay single, relationships are like a lion carrying around his kill, it will either get stolen or get rot eventually.

LadyKitty · Answer

I would stay single before I settle for less than what I deserve.

Xia1994 · Answer

I'd stay single, I think singlehood can be a wonderful journey and so can being in a relationship so people can be really happy with either choice so long as they are doing what they want.

shoeboxcerealcard · Answer

Just get the type of person you want. Why settle for something you don't even want? What does age have to do with it?

rachel776 · Answer

stay single. i was perfectly fine going along with my friends with benefits and then a great guy came along but i made him wait a year because i thought i didn't want him

Anonymous · Answer

I don't really know what people mean by soulmate. There are a lot of compatible people on this earth and many could make you happy and help build a successful and happy life.

The words settle in this context seems insulting and entitled, and soulmate implies there is only one you're meant to be with.

I guess I'm more of a realist than that.

patois · Answer

I think men are more willing to compromise when they are young. The more we walk through life, the less shit we're willing to accept. So if you want a man to settle, it's not going to be as they get older.

LiamJHayden · Answer

I would stay single. My simple relationship rule is this:. A great or good relationship is better than being single. Being single is better than a poor or mediocre relationship.

Paul09 · Answer

I will never settle for being single. But seems like that's what is happening. So I'll just have to deal with it, and that's that. Seems very hard to find good people, or any match at all , for me anyways.

sexymamimaria · Answer

I do. not think I would settle for anyone just for the sake of not being alone.

David94358 · Answer

settle, you can still have a good relationship and enjoy each others life together, although it depends on how old you are talking here

rebeliouse · Answer

@edr44  not sure i think if I can't find someone that i really get on with enough to be 24 7 then id have a few friends with benefits or at least be in a relationship that we agree to be open and share

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Stay single, settling is worse. However I'm not going to do either.

kmg9150 · Answer

Define settle. You mean doesn't check all your boxes. You sure them boxes all together aren't unrealistic? But why would you want to grow old with someone your forcing yourself to do?

steveusna · Answer

I have resolved to be single forever. Never got married and never will. Had many chances. Two women in college. Two women after college. I just couldn't get excited about marriage. It felt like I would be reporting to prison.

Booklover_90 · Answer

I’ll never settle. Granted, no one is perfect, but I won’t settle just because I’m tired of being single.

thegreenyogi · Answer

I will never ever settle no matter or regardless of my age at any given time. Life is too short to live that way.

PreferNot2Say · Answer

I have made the decision nine years ago to give up any hope of a soulmate. I've actually given up on love completely and I've never been happier. Although I do miss cuddling with a woman sometimes😁.

mobiusforniner · Answer

one only loses when they give up…. that said, if you’re a guy and are sporting the man bun in the picture associated with this question, you’re screwed.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

I'd rather stay single than stay with someone I don't exactly like.

MikeTheBartender · Answer

Stay single. I enjoy dating too much to be with someone I wouldn't be happy with

douride2 · Answer

Well I'm 46 & it looks like I am going to stay single for the rest of my life.

ChicoFromThe305 · Answer

I'll still look for the soulmate, not just settle or be single

dolemite58 · Answer

Single rest of my life, I’d have the occasional fling but it’s not like I’m going to care that much about sex as I get old. I really do enjoy solitude.

Anonymous · Answer

well you seem to take the "option" to settle for granted... good for you. i feel not everyone is so fortunate. like if i decided to settle, with whom would i? there are no takers.

strateguy632 · Answer

i would settle, even if not have characteristics that i favor but so far i have not needed that because gals find me sweetey pie!

Pohjolan · Answer

I do enjoy the freedoms that come with being single and I don't have that high criterias in the first place.

Heolurt · Answer

After so many years of rejection and realizing there is no one for me, I gave up and settled on staying single.

Bunnynurse03 · Answer

I’m 40 I’ll stay single until I meet someone who is compatible until then rather be single and lonely than me miserable because I settled which I have done and I was miserable

stark04 · Answer

If You keep on talking about soulmates and rainbows and happily ever after, you probably haven't reached the certain age I think.

Nikki1989 · Answer

There is no need to do either of those things.

Anonymous · Answer

That "grow old alone" thought is a depressive state. Live for now, enjoy now, appreciate what you now. Present matters. If meeting someone is in fate, let it happens when it happens, if not. Stop fighting for what's not yours. otherwise you'll always ne resenful, envious and live a miserable life.

Likes2drive · Answer

I don’t think I will ever give up finding someone

Alex-Snow · Answer

I think it depends on the person and their goals in life. I would prefer to settle down with someone I love. But before that I want to enjoy sex with many wonderful girls

sheenagwapa · Answer

i will NEVER settle... to this i mean be with someone so that i will not be alone

After a certain age, would you settle or stay single?

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