After a certain age, would you settle or stay single?

[EDR44]

After a certain age if you are still single and can't find your soulmate would you just stay single for the rest of your life or just settle with someone so you won't grow old alone?

[lightbulb27]

That is such a negative question so is better to reframe it.

Is it better to take the bird in your hand rather than wait for a different bird in the bush, that may never be there. If ya keep thinking... you end up back at your question, but don't go there.

Focus on the value of the person you have and your ability to appreciate and love that person. thats what it is anyways.

Thinking of "settling" is a statement about your own expectations which may be in fantasy or false, and may be a negation of the true value of the person you have.

This is an element in being content. We humans always quest for more, something new, fresh, exciting.. the best, according to your disposition. You have to manage your humanness.

I one refuses to let go their perfectionist mentality, I'd suggest staying single lest you attempt to perfect the flawed one you have, rather than accepting, honoring or loving them as they are. That be abusive to no end.

[Summeroflove]

I don’t think anyone should settle for someone they aren’t truly in love with. It’s not only bad for the person doing it but it’s worse for someone who is led to believe someone genuinely loves them and they don’t.

It’s better to be alone then with someone you’re not happy with. It’s also just not fair to them.

It wouldn’t be fair for a man or a woman. To pretend to be in love with someone they’re not in love with. Unless both people are honest with one another. Maybe someone finds someone else who can’t find anyone and both people just say they don’t want to die alone… But at the end of the day they could be miserable. But at least they were honest.

If that’s something you want to do. Then be honest about it.

[Alwayreckles93]

I will speak from experience. When I decided to stop looking for a husband and I given up considerng millenial guys are spoiled mommas boys. I stop dating after I dated a jerk and they were more intrested in dating younger woman. Well a friend of mine invite me to this church gahering dinner event I had no idea I bump into my future husband yeah bumping into someone isn't exactly looking for a husband. Let's just say one day you decide to go to the grocery store you never know what's going to happend you ca even find your future husband at a grocery store. It happened to me when I seriously tough I was way to old.

[AmyHew1tt]

Always pick single over settle. Just don't exclude happening to find the right person along the way.

[JHAYES317]

@AmyHew1tt never settle for emotional/mental stuff but settling for physical stuff is necessary not everybody can be with Chris Hemsworth

[itsclearlynicholas]

I have and I have. I find im stress free, healthier, happier and more savings for it (no financial advice) lol 😆 - peace vibes 😈🙃 life's bliss vibes. I love being single

[AmyHew1tt]

@JHAYES317 Sure, not everyone is Chris Hemsworth, but not everyone is looking for Chris Hemsworth either. I don't think it's good to settle for someone who doesn't physically attract you. I know I wouldn't want someone to do that for me. We all like feeling desired.

[JHAYES317]

@AmyHew1tt yeah but that’s not possible since there are people who are really ugly

[AmyHew1tt]

@JHAYES317 Well, If I'm one of those, I'd choose to be single, honestly.

[JHAYES317]

@AmyHew1tt ok some people still wanna find love despite being disfigured

[AmyHew1tt]

@JHAYES317 Of course they do, and I would to. But I'd prefer to be single than have someone settle for me. If you can find someone who truly loves you, that's amazing and it does happen more often than people think.

Just for me, if I was in any doubt that my person didn't really want me above other people, I'd choose to be on my own.

[JHAYES317]

@AmyHew1tt unless you look like a supermodel you are never going to be the most physically attractive person out there…so in a sense everybody settles to some degree…but if they are settling on everything not just looks that’s when it’s a problem

[AmyHew1tt]

@JHAYES317 I guess we can agree to disagree on that. I know whenever I've been in love, he's the most attractive guy I've ever seen, and I don't feel like I'm settling at all.

[JHAYES317]

@AmyHew1tt I guess you must be dating supermodels then because most men out there are very average looking

[AmyHew1tt]

@JHAYES317 I've never dated anyone. I can't speak to how conventionally attractive the first guy I was in love with was. I thought he was hot, my mom thought he looked kind of funky. My ideal isn't necessarily what you may picture as a supermodel. We all have different types. Either way, there's a broad spectrum between average and supermodel.

[JHAYES317]

@AmyHew1tt yes I get it people have different taste…but there is a general standard of conventional beauty, like most people would agree Henry Cavill and Chris Hemsworth are objectively attractive

[AmyHew1tt]

@JHAYES317 Sure, but neither of them is attractive to me. I understand that some girls like them, but if they approached me on the street, I'd say no.

[JHAYES317]

@AmyHew1tt you may have a more niche taste then

[AmyHew1tt]

@JHAYES317 I definitely do. It's certainly annoying at times.

The larger matter of it is that they're so much older than me, which automatically shuts down attraction for any man in any niche for me.

[JHAYES317]

@AmyHew1tt ok what if they were 15 years younger?

[AmyHew1tt]

@JHAYES317 Still not really my type. I can admire, appreciate, or acknowledge how someone looks without attraction.

[JHAYES317]

@AmyHew1tt you aren’t into stereotypically masculine guys?

[AmyHew1tt]

@JHAYES317 Not at this point in my life. I still think the guys I'm attracted to are masculine. There isn't one standard definition of it for me.

[JHAYES317]

@AmyHew1tt I’d say being muscular (more like built upper body (broad shoulders, big chest) than skinny with abs), body hair, facial hair, and a deep (or at least not a high) voice are the key aspects of physically masculine.

[itsclearlynicholas]

I feel like I got pushed aside here, hahahaha lol, forget me then in the comments, lol

[AmyHew1tt]

@JHAYES317 I'm more into slender muscle. I really don't like body or facial hair. Deep voices are okay as long as they're not extremely deep. Again, what we all find attractive is different.

[AmyHew1tt]

@itsclearlynicholas Lol sorry

[handsomelad70]

I'm more than a half-century older than you, AmyHew1tt, and I couldn't agree more.

[AmyHew1tt]

@handsomelad70 thank you :) On what particularly?

[DreamLife7]

Smart woman.

[handsomelad70]

I'm looking for a buxom blonde.

[itsclearlynicholas]

It happens Amy lol I can be forgotten lol 😆😆

[Artificial Intelligence]

Aiming to sprinkle some love dust on this tricky topic! 😘 Navigating the love maze can be like searching for a needle in a haystack, right? Finding your soulmate or deciding to ride solo are both perfectly valid choices, each with its own sparkle and shadow. Picture this: settling might seem cozy at first, like a comfy but slightly itchy sweater. However, it might lead to a case of the "what ifs" down the romance road. On the flip side, embracing your fabulous solo status can be liberating, like a solo dance in the rain! It's all about tuning into your heart's playlist. If it plays tunes of independence and self-love, solo it is. But if you feel like sharing your melody, keep searching for that harmonious duet. Either way, love, make sure your choice makes your heart sing! 🎵💖

[handsomelad70]

Single. I'm NOT dating a fugly broad.

[PeachyPie93]

@handsomelad70 bro you are 70 lmao

[MushyKiwi]

@PeachyPie93 LMBO

[abc3643]

In light of Dr Brad's vast experience with women, I think we all should remember the last time an AI had to deal with women...

https://youtu.be/_JCYDBd9Pgs?feature=shared

[handsomelad70]

@MushyKiwi LMBO? I shower daily, so I don't have BO, but enlighten the ol' boy, please?

[PeachyPie93]

@handsomelad70 I think it means Laughing My Butt Off

[Avicenna]

Makes more sense to compromise on some things, but not all.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Single and out there , with young boys 18-25

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Or taken for life

[CVNT5]

hot.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

@CVNT5 You’re out of that age range though

[CVNT5]

now i wanna ravage those cheeks🤤💦💕

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Hopefully, the cheeks of 18-25 yo girls, we are talking about?

[CVNT5]

even better🤤

[deus_ex_sisyphus]

lmao its always the anime pfp / background people actin crazy

[WindAtMyBack]

No. I think the opposite happened. After a certain age, I lost motivation to look for someone. Not because of anything negative, I totally love women and think they make the world a much better place to live. It just stopped being a priority for me.

If anything, I think I'm a lot more picky than I used to be. Since I'm perfectly fine being single, I can afford to be picky. On the other hand, even though I'm not looking, if the right person came along, I'd romance the heck out of her. If she was the right person, I'd give her my heart.

But no, I would absolutely not settle. I'd walk and be fine with being single.

[IslaTheWitch]

I think you can find a soulmate at any age...

I don't plan anything, being alone is not a problem mainly because I'm never truly alone... it sometimes pisses me off but in long-term I appreciate my family and friends

but for sure I wouldn't settle with someone I don't love...

[MMelanieM]

I don't think anything should be given a timeline. We are human beings and not robots. we have feelings and living things cannot be alone is my belief. Just get on with your life and do what you love and when you meet someone on your path, give it a chance and don't close any doors. I recently heard of an old couple in their 60's who fell in love and married. Not saying it'll take that long... but you don't have to close the door at all.

[HighValue]

According to the US Census Bauru, more women are already single than men and there are 90 men to every 100 women. On top of that, men that have money to travel outside of the USA are more and more finding their partners outside of the USA. American women need to get used to the idea of many of them staying single for life. They can wish and deny it all they want, but in reality, many of them are going to stay single regardless if they want to "settle" or not.

Their bad morals and listening to the lies of feminism have ruined the relationship prospects for many. I have no sympathy for them.

[Screenwriter]

"Settling" reeks of long-term regret if you ask me. Unless you feel the person is someone you like, love and can have fun with, what's the point?

And simply because you're not partnered doesn't mean you're alone. Most people have families and good friends to interact regularly with. A SO is ideal, especially when you're older. But if it s not possible, you have to live your life as well as possible.

[Bricealan]

Stay single. Been there and had that done to me. A girlfriend in my 20's was going to 'settle' for me, (based on my experiences with her a prior lovers) I knew for a fact that she felt that way, and I knew it and rejected her wanting to get married for that reason.

[MrDaveAPSI]

I don't think there's a certain "age" to settle. However, since I don't want to marry or have kids, you kind of have to wonder if I ever actually will "settle".

To me, marriage, is pointless. It's literally a piece of paper, of the state telling you that you're "in a relationship". Once that marriage ends (which a lot do these days, it causes multiple problems, including if you have kids)

Kids are just demon spawn. I don't know why people have kids

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Some say you should never SETTLE unless you are in a courtroom & others say you should never SETTLE for anything less than the best.

As for a relationship I rather be single versus settling & as for me I rather be with a person for the right reasons instead of the wrong reasons.

[236color]

Depends on what you consider "settling". If you are one of these that dismissed out of hand anyone less than 6 feet tall, making less than $100,000, yeah you may need to realign your priorities. Don't, however settle for an addict, an abuser or anyone unwilling to seek help for serious mental illness. Being alone can be better than being with some people.

[Amy10223]

Good question. I would love to have "grown old " with someone years ago. But now I've developed so many habits on my own an like doing what I want to do when I want to, and it's not bad at all. I have a guy who is similarly me, who I think may be interested in pursuing a relationship--but I think he is just like me--likes being alone. At his age, he isn't going to change for anyone, and neither am I.

[Chevy1_kb]

Well I'm 35 single broke up with my ex I feel freedom without love but it's also good to be single to I just feel I want hugs and then I say but what if the guy I get with doesn't accept the fact I have a crush on Uma thurman and can't take that away if he doesn't like it it's see yaa later alligator sorry

[b_lova]

Please don't feel like this is an attack, but do you have some fears of commitment? You probably are not going to find a soulmate depending on your definition, but you can find a person you have a lot in common with if you are willing to commit to working on a relationship.

To answer your question more directly, I would rather live my life with a great friend than be alone.

[molonski2]

So , I just don't think age matters , as life goes in cycles , in your 20s you have this vision of " lasting forever " the reality is , that's simply not going to happen in real life.
Soulmate? Honestly I think that's bullshit , it's just a series of compromise , in life anything can happen , and all those experiences help create who you are.

Things evolve as will relationships and sex at different stages.

[Seinna]

Well... do you WANT to grow old alone? If not then keep searching, otherwise just keep an open mind and maybe someone will cross your path.

[Sjoerd85]

If I had not found my partner (I was 34 when I found her), I would have stayed single, but I would keep looking around... You never know what happens.

And better to have no match, rather than a bad match.

[Mr_twoface]

If I was still single, I would continue to date and have hookups. If along the way, I would find someone to share the life with, that would be lovely. Otherwise, I would continue until I grow old.

[Caramalkisses23]

Yes. I've only been in 2 relationships and sometimes I feel like I just settle with the first person who talks to me. I'm very mutable so I adjust to just about anyone... So after this relationship- I almost don't even want to try again.

[sheikalana]

I'm already married but if I was single I would want to find someone to share my life with. While being single is great I think it must be sad and lonely to spend your days by yourself when older.