I'm so depressed I want to break up?

[AHitlerfvckedmydog]

My boyfriend and I met, when I was coming out of my depression trying to make a living for my self, to make savings for the next time I get depressed, pay my bills and have at least somewhat of a peace and then end my life.

But he really saved me from that point even balanced my finances when he didn't like my job and I stopped doing that job and spent time with him 24/7 instead. but that backfires now. I forgot why I was doing all that. My bills getting higher and I getting more depressed to the point I really want to end it but I can't because it's so chaotic. I love him but he doesn't know what depression is. I really want to end things with him. I don't plan to do anything stupid but when I'm depressed there's no guarantee.

How can I put it, so he doesn't get worried?

[XHopelessRomanticX]

I don’t have have depression, so I don’t really understand all its effects and nuances, so take my advice with a grain of salt. I would say:

1. Find another job, even if it’s something small, so that you do not become 100% dependent on this man. Find something that will at least keep the lights on and food in your stomach. Utilize food banks and churches if you need to for food.

2. If you don’t have anyone to talk to about your depression, check online for any free therapy and mental health services. They may be online or over the phone.

3. If you’re open to the idea, see if there are any Celebrate Recovery programs in your area. These are programs, usually held inside a church, that bring together people from all different walks of life who also struggle with life’s various challenges. They just might have a group dedicated to helping with managing depression.

And if and when you feel you are ready, explain to your boyfriend that you appreciate all that he has done for you, but you want to try and manage things on your own. Not because you don’t think what he did was enough, but because this is your fight to win. Hang in there my friend, the sun is rising tomorrow.
Here’s a hug from a stranger 🤗

[Anonymous]

We should never take any decision when we are in sad depressing mood or in more happy and excited mood. Right now you are not eligible to take any right decision for yourself or not even to see things through.

I would suggest you first to take professional help maybe some psychiatrist and have some medicine for your depression. Take the full use of the support you are getting from him because not everyone is lucky enough to have anyone like him who is still willing to be with you when you are in this state. And after you get out of it then you decide whatever you like. Depression isn't forever and it can get cured. I have myself faced depression for 6 years long without treatment (because I wasn't able to get) but with the help of doctors and medicine it can get cured within a year.

[Staximus]

Why do you want to break up with your boyfriend? What did he do wrong?

[AHitlerfvckedmydog]

He's the best man I ever met. I don't want to bring him down or ruin his u shattered perfect life.

[Staximus]

So you want to make your own life worse by leaving a good guy? That doesn't make any kind of sense. It's time to stop fucking yourself over

[Anonymous]

I'm trying to understand this. So you quit your job to be with him full time and didn't think about your bills stacking up? You shouldn't break it up with him over that. When things get hard, you don't just bail out of a relationship especially when it sounds like he helped you get better and helped with your finances.

It's time you take responsibility for your actions of quitting your job and get another one. I have schizophrenia but still had to go back to working. I am depressed everyday but I would never break up with my boyfriend over how depressed I am when he is always there for me and I know that it will only make things worse and not better. I will just be more depressed and I suspect so will you if you end things with him unless you never really loved him. If you didn't love him then I understand. But if you love him, don't break up with him.

[AHitlerfvckedmydog]

I did and found another job. Bc I was self employed. But then I got to visit a school cause that's what normal people do and Im not normal but I started to feel it made me really anxious and stressed. I want to be self employed again but he doesn't approve that. But I'm really have the feeling I'm so overwhelmed and would accidentally do something stupid. He only know my happy side he doesn't understand the pain. He saw papers from my lawyers from the sexual assault I went through. He made jokes about visiting psychiatrist in the past. After he saw my paper he told me he understood me. But before that he thought I was kind of lazy or stupid. I love him but I do not love his other side. He can be genuine generous and kind but he is also pushy and ignorant towards my inner self and I don't want to explain myself anymore. I'm so tired and I can't keep up with his accusations or his sweet texts bc I can't feel it. I'm very at the end. I was at this point 2 times of 10 years of depression. It is not fair for him. But I also don't want to enforce him to understand. I'm very much done with everything and everyone even good morning is exhausting. I'm deeply happy for your every accomplishment. I know it is especially really hard with schizophrenia. I can't imagine how much strength. I just have respect. Don't stop being your own favourite parent.

[Opinion Owner]

Well first I will say try to find another self employment job if that makes you feel better. Nothing is worth your sanity including him. That's awful he made jokes about visiting a psychiatrist in the past with what you went through. You certainly needed that to heal and it sounds like you still may need to see someone. Please don't give up. And it sounds like if he is tearing you down more than uplifting you then you need to let him go.

And thank you. It is hard but I'm getting through it. You need to keep trying. You can do it. I know it's hard. Depression is such a hard thing to get through but you can beat it.

[CuriousMufuxka]

Ask him to end you. It's the best of both worlds! He doesn't have to experience you any longer and the cops probably won't give a shit either.

[AHitlerfvckedmydog]

Reported.

[NewgodOmega]

Nothing new

[AHitlerfvckedmydog]

Go to bed and learn Monday is school

[NewgodOmega]

I am 38 and I don't have work on any day

[In_Trance]

So break up