Boyfriend cheated on me with his babymother I gave him a second chance, but he’s not listening to my rules?

[Anonymous]

My ex cheated on me with his baby mother we broke up and once a week for 8 months he asked me for a second chance. I finally gave him a second chance last week but I had a few rules that he had to follow. Some of the rules were for him to only speaks to his baby mother about his child and nothing else , share his password with me and never delete any messages between them, he came to my house last night and the messages between them were deleted, and I told him I could no longer be with him because he didn’t listen to my rules He told me he forgot about the rule and he hasn’t been doing anything but being loyal to me and I shouldn’t just break up with him over one mistake when he’s changed now Am I wrong for breaking up with him without any proof of him doing wrong? Before I gave him a second chance, I seen all of their messages and they were coparenting and only texting each other about their child, but I don’t understand why he would delete the messages when I had rules set in place for him

[MrOracle]

I don't lightly tell people to end their relationships - most things can be worked out if both people are serious - but clearly, he's not serious at all.

The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior - which means you need to find out about a person's past as well as their present, and use that information to predict their future, and THEN decide if you like that future for you. Some guy who had a kid with some girl who he's not together with isn't exactly predicting a great future, and I bet there are a lot of other signs of his selfish and self-centered behavior that you ignored despite being right in front of you, because you had FEELINGS for him.

Your FEELINGS don't give one tiny shit about your future, they only care about RIGHT NOW, which is why you can't allow your feelings to drive your actions, because your feelings will drive you right off a cliff without a second thought. You must use LOGIC and REASON as the basis for your decisions, with those decisions merely INFORMED by your feelings, but not based on them.

You picked a crappy guy, and, to no one's shock, he's still crappy today. What are the chances he'll still be crappy tomorrow?

[Summeroflove]

You should have broken up the second he did that. If he wants to go back to his baby mama then let him go back. Break up. Let yourself grieve and move on.

If you’re controlling him because you can’t trust him. Then you shouldn’t be with him. It’s obvious that he can’t be trusted and you can’t force him to do anything. What you can do is choose to not be with him anymore and find better.

He’s a degenerate… There’s probably a reason he isn’t with his babymomma anymore. So… He has a miserable life ahead of him. Don’t let him drag you down with him.

[Anonymous]

See the thing is, cheating is not a mistake. It’s a series of deliberate choices. He chose to talk to her without your knowledge. He chose to flirt with her. He chose to have secret conversations with her. He chose to meet up with her in private. He chose to kiss her, touch her, fondle her, take her clothes off, take his own clothes off, get into bed with her…every choice he made had the alternative option to stop. And he chose not to stop.

[Artificial Intelligence]

Ah, the classic second-chance romance sprinkled with betrayal; it's like a scene from a drama series, isn't it? Love, when you're laying down rules like "only talk about the kiddo" and "hand over those passwords," it's because trust has left the building, and you're trying to build it back up, brick by brick. The fact that he "forgot" about a rule that's crucial to rebuilding trust is a red flag waving flamboyantly in the love parade. 🚩

It's not about having proof of wrongdoing; it's about feeling secure and respected in a relationship. If those deleted messages made your trust meter drop, then you're not wrong for wanting to exit stage left. Relationships should add to your happiness, not your stress levels. Trust your gut; it's your emotional compass. Keep shining and don't settle for less than clear skies and sunshine! ☀️💕

[Finchie40]

You are best to dump him and find yourself someone that wouldn’t cheat on you , He should honestly go back to his baby mama and try to work things out for the child’s sake. You shouldn’t have to set rules to anyone , he chose to betray the boundaries he had with you when you first got together , so why put yourself through that hell? , you will barely ever feel happy knowing you are with someone that easily cheated on you , You deserve better than that shit. Whether he is telling you the truth now or not , you will never feel happy and content with him , you will always feel like he will do it again , So why put yourself through that shit , there are plenty of other guys’ in this world that don’t cheat period. He isn’t worth your time

[lightbulb27]

I like your style and your firm boundaries. He's a boundary pusher and weak.

I'm not really sure what to tell you as trust has been damaged. He clearly edited something out didn't want you to see. I'd suggest in the future ALL BM communications occur with you present, that avoids problems. My guess is that is difficult for him to do as he's semi attached. If he "cheated", then there's strings.

The question would be... what is the consequence of breaking the rules and how is it enforced?

And why do you want this guy? don't answer me... answer yourself... He is obligated to care for a child that is his responsibility... for min 18years more like 28 years and he should.

[Danny_dan92]

Why are you forgiving a guy that has a kid with another woman and he cheated on you with her? Are you that dense in the head? You must have no self worth.




Realize that when you forgive him for doing this, basically tells him that it’s ok. He’ll do it again.

[Theworldislost]

The proof is that he already went behind your back and is deleting messages. He doesn't intend to change for you. My suggestion leave before you get hurt.

[abc3643]

1. Don't have rules.
2. Dump him. Now.
3. NEVER FUCKING GET INVOLVED WITH A GUY WITH BAGGAGE.

[jahaims]

"Not listening to my rules" he isn't a puppy lol. He doesn't respect you dummy. Dump him and move on.

[OtterMan68]

what was his excuse for deleting the posts?