Why does my fiance barely call me or text me anymore?

[Anonymous]

Hi everyone. My fiance have been dating for 8 years and engaged for two years. he used to call me and text me all the time and just recently i’ve noticed that he barely calls me or texts me anymore. The only thing i can think of that is pushing him away is that i nag and complain about instagram and him liking pictures. i’m a very insecure person and I don't know why. i’ve recently been seeing a therapist and she’s been giving me really good advice and helping me. I can tell little by little i will become confident. anyway, the past few months the only time i will call my fiance is to complain as to why he will follow this girl or like he bikini pictures. i will call for nothing else but to call and complain. the past month he has reassured me that he doesn’t do that anymore but i still call to ask if he is doing it. so i’ve come to notice that i call more often than he does and it makes me sad. so i just want to know your opinion and see if the reason he doesn’t call or text often anymore is because all i do is nag and complain. Also another thing is how can i stop complaining and want him to call me and text me more? Thank you in advance

[Finchie40]

Well the fact that he is liking other girls’ pictures on Instagram is disrespectful to your relationship with him. and it’s also a red flag , that he might be losing interest in you. If he truly loved and cared about you he wouldn’t be showing interest in other girls’ . It’s one thing for someone to look at someone attractive but to act on it , is another , it’s disrespectful and something you should really reconsider ,! if you want to stay with him. How would he feel, if you were liking other guys’ pictures? I am pretty sure he would feel jealous and hurt that you were doing that to him , so you are best to have a sit down talk with him and tell him you don’t want to be with a guy that is acknowledging other girls’ like he does , tell him the truth about how it makes you feel and tell him how would you feel if I was doing that to you , if he doesn’t apologize to you and say he is sorry , and doesn’t stop liking other girls’ pictures then you are best to end that relationship with him and find yourself someone that actually values you and respects you the way you value and respect him. Do not settle for a guy that doesn’t make you his top priority , you will just be wasting your time being a convenience to him

[KrakenAttackin]

@Finchie40 Is she posting thirst traps and other inappropriate pics? Women seem to lack awareness of this wild double standard.

[Finchie40]

That’s possible as well, if she is doing that? , that would definitely change my advice to her lol yes double standards raise a lot of questions for concern and usually end a relationship if they both can’t fix it and admit the were both wrong

[RavVid]

It is almost 100% certain your phone habits are putting him off. Men like window shopping and always will. You can just track it better now. It is not a vote on your attractiveness to him.

Tell yourself his likes of bikini pics are not to be raised. He is just a healthy man who likes bikini picks. You can wear a track in your brain with what you are doing. Certain synapses are firing and it strenghtens the connection. 11 am check for bikini likes 12pm check for bikini likes 12:05 pm check for bikini likes. 12:06 check for bikini likes

The only way to deal with this is to tell or self STOP. DON'T

11 am check for bikini likes STOP. DON'T 12pm check for bikini likes STOP. DON'T 12:05 pm check for bikini likes. STOP. DON'T 12:06 check for bikini likes STOP. DON'T

This technique does work - it has for me.

You could apologize - that would help a lot. It seems to be jealousy/insecurity. You could put it that you love him so much and ask for forgiveness. You'll certainly push him into breaking the engagement if don't STOP. DON'T,

[rosemilk]

oh at first i was like that's fine because he can just see you when you two are home from work and then talk and hang out, no need for texting and calling

but then i read that you are having to talk to him about liking pretty girl/bikini pics on instagram. this obviously bothers you and he's not changing it or reassuring you, which is how healthy relationships should work.

i'm so glad you're seeing a therapist to fix your insecurity tho! but it doesn't help when you go home and some of the reasons why you're insecure are staring at you in your face. he is holding you back from the independent confident woman you should be.

i guess you could go to couples counseling? just don't get married until this issue is solved because this could easily cause a divorce if it continues.

[HollyK21]

By the time I finished reading, I knew this was a relationship that wouldn’t and shouldn’t make it to the alter. Your insecurity is not a mental health crisis, it’s rooted in him going behind your back so much in the past that now you can’t move yourself past it. Too much damage has been done and the trust is incredibly fragile if not gone entirely. I feel like in order to get married you two should be head over heels in love, closer than ever and eager to start your lives as one. Instead you two couldn’t be more distant and it seems like you’re trying to hang on so tightly when he isn’t. This is just a very unfortunate, doomed situation that I hope you choose to walk away from.

[AviatorTom]

If you've been engaged for 2 years and together for 8 years, it's pretty obvious that he has no intention of marrying you. My guess us that the sex is good, which is why he keeps you around.

Best thing for you to do is to say goodbye and find a guy who wants you for more than sex.

I know that's hard to take... but it will be better for you.

[serious_miss419]

I second this

[Vesuvius87]

I stopped reading further after the "engaged for 2 years" part. That's all I need to know. Looks like he went a step ahead of keeping a woman in the forever girlfriend stage. You're now in the forever fiance stage. An engagement isn't the initial (getting to know each other) dating stage anymore but it's a very brief review of the whole relationship, similar to a summary of a novel. You're NOT reading the whole book again.

It's time to have a serious conversation with him about the wedding day. You can't be wasting too much time in the engagement stage.

[Seinna]

Engaged for 2 years? TWO WHOLE YEARS?

I'd disregard anything else and ask to pick a date to actually get married. If you do that then you'll have your answer about his intentions. I'm afraid you might have lost many years of your life waiting for this guy but I wish you luck.

[bobalife]

He’s prolly stopped calling because of the same questions. Change the habit of calling for solely askin about it & focus more on your love.
If he stops, try to forgive and leave it behind if you wanna be with him. If he continues, then it’s time to move on cuz he don’t respect you.

[sage2021]

You do have to have a talk with him about him and where his eyes go on other girls on the internet.

Tell him if he would stop doing that because it hurts you, then you would stop complaining about it.

If you don't tell him it has to stop then he knows if he calls you or you call him it's going to be about the same old thing, and he's tired of putting his hand in a snake pit by having the same conversation over and over about what he is looking at.

[Lliam]

How could you be engaged for two years? Why aren't you married yet?

Is this a LDR?

I doubt if the nagging is the real problem. I don't think he wants to get married. I think he's been stringing you along. He's still keeping his options open.

[Anonymous]

Well you’re nagging and insecure
He’s probably been rethinking his decision or just not interested in calling only to get punished…
I told my girlfriend, I would never get married that was over 12 years ago I’m not leading her on like he is with you. I think that’s wrong. He should probably get therapy as well. So go to couples counseling now and figure this shit out or you’re just going to get divorced anyway.
All my friends have been divorced one 4 times and I have told them to seek counseling before getting married it would have saved them thousands of dollars and a huge chunk of heart ache.

[JacobJordan]

Start by realizing that if you continue this you won't be his fiance you will be his ex girlfriend. You need to make his life easier not harder. Now if he is liking other women's pictures completely justified to bring it up but you bring it up and then leave it at that. Women spend way to much time dredging up the past and then wonder how their perfect relationship imploded.

[laly520]

I doubt it would work
u got lot of mental issues to work on n he doesn't respect what u two have n obviously doesn't care enough about how u feel
u r better off without him but u need to work on ur insecurities still

[CallmeTheKnight]

This is a hot mess. y'all need to get it together. You nag and complain because you’re insecure and uncomfortable and he probably doesn’t wanna marry you. I don't know 🤷🏿‍♂️

[Anonymous]

They found someone better in looks and personality. More the “looks” part. Cause people’s ego is huge.

ITS AT LEAST IN MY EXPERIENCE, WHAT HAPPENED TO ME. AND WHAT HE TOLD ME.

[mbarsi01]

Not being trusted is a turn off but not a bridge burner just realize it’s just instagram and he bought you a ring

[lorenzomichael]

Because he has a whole lifetime ahead of him to do that kind of shit.

[KrakenAttackin]

Wow, what a hot mess.

[Anonymous]

He is getting border with you.