Will I ever overcome my partner's (almost) cheating?

Question

So, 1 year ago, my friend and I messaged my boyfriend from a fake account, sent him some photos and he took the bait, he sent one as well. I immediately confronted him and went nuts. I was sure I was gonna break up with him but I could not bring myself to do it, so we sorta tried to resolve things out.

Since then, I regularly think about this incidence and sometimes become mad at him out of nowhere. I love him, I know he will not do anything like this at least any time soon and things are pretty serious between us now (this was one of the reasons that I couldn't break up with him, our fanilies are involved and I'm from a middle east household).

So, I really want to get over it and move on, but I don't seem to be making a big progress now. Will it be possible, ever?

V_Injector · Accepted Answer

You need to come to an understanding that your partner is a mere human who could be enticed into doing what nature has designed him to do. If you came home with your hottest friend and begged him to fuck her while you lick her clit... you're not going to find much resistance.

Also, you spend a lot of time thinking about it... too much time. I mean think about it... you spend so much time thinking about it that you made a fake profile just to tempt him. And now you're all frizzled just because it worked. People like to fuck, so get used to the idea that eventually, someone is going to cheat on you. Also...

You need to look inward and why this is on your mind so much. I'm guessing you see your own ability to be able to cheat with ease, and you battle the idea, but those lusty thoughts creep in the back of your mind from the lizard part of the brain. Accept that yes, your lizard brain wants to fuck Chad, Tyrone, and Carlos and not get caught so that you can use your man for what you use him for. It's fine that you take a moral position on not doing that, but accept it instead of letting it fuck with your mind to the point that you're projecting this behavior out onto him.

I'll put it like this... I don't know you and I've never met you. But I can tell just from what you put here that it wouldn't take too much effort to work you into sexting and sending me naughty pictures. I'm not going to do that, no need for you to proclaim you wouldn't, but do ask yourself why I would think that... Why would I think that?

I think the real demon you're fighting is yourself, and it frazzles your nerves realizing he's more like you are than you would like. I'll even predict that it's going to be you that cheats first. If anything I said her sort of turned you on, then you know I'm right about that. Just saying... you don't have to take my words as a statement of fact. It's just my retarded opinion after all. But consider what I'm saying at least. I know you'll probably lash out at this thought experiment because you're already fighting the ideas so hard as it is.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

I've been in a relationship and I love my girlfriend very much. But, 1 year ago, I got a message from a girl on social media, she sent me some photos and I sent her one as well, to be polite. I never intended to pursue anything with her but it's nice to know that I can still get attention from other girls.

Well, it was a fake account, it was my girlfriend pretending to be someone else, and she immediately went nuts. I thought she was gonna break up with me and, honestly, I was mad as hell that she set me up like that, but we tried to resolve things.

Since then, I've thought about the way that she tried to test me and sometimes I get mad at her out of nowhere. I love her, but I don't know if she will do anything like this again and I don't want to be tested my entire life. Things are pretty serious between us now and I think about getting married but I'm not sure. Our families are close and but that isn't enough reason to get married.

So, I really wish this had never happened because my fears aren't going away. Will it ever be the same again?

EmyyWolf · Accepted Answer

If he’s mediocre or hideous in looks and body and testosterone . Id just go ahead and cheat on him first 💅 there's no reason for me to be faithful to a simpleton/ mediocre fool Who almost cheated on me.  You showed me you will cheat on me you undesirable pervert. ILL CHEAT WITH BIGGER SIZE 🤬… WITH MORE HANDSOME MEN… STRONGER MEN WHO CAN F—🥊L U UP! ——  Yeah I recommend you do this, otherwise you look stupid and like a pushover.

Vesuvius87 · Accepted Answer

The moment you had to even test him if he would cheat, that relationship was already over because it lacks trust. He failed it anyway and will cheat if given the chance. Why even bother staying without trust? Love isn't enough if there's no respect nor trust.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Navigating the rocky waters of (almost) cheating is like doing a tango with trust and forgiveness, a dance that requires two, my friend! It sounds like you've got some serious emotional legwork ahead, but fear not, because where there is love and willingness, there's a way.

First and foremost, reshaping trust is like crafting a fine piece of art. It requires patience, dedication, and lots of love. This isn't just about him showing you he's changed, but also about you letting that healing sink into your heart. Communication is your magic wand here! Chat about your feelings, fears, and dreams. Make it as flirty and heartfelt as you want – after all, love is about connecting at the deepest levels.

Remember, becoming mad out of nowhere is like a little alert system from your heart saying, "Hey, we’ve still got stuff to work on." And that’s okay! These moments are opportunities for growth, both individually and as a dynamic duo.

While there's no timetable for healing, with genuine effort from both sides, it's very possible to move past this. It's about rebuilding with better, stronger bricks each day. So, keep the communication lines sizzling, sprinkle in forgiveness, and trust the process. You’re writing your own love story, after all, so make it one you'll love to tell. 🌟

Summeroflove · Answer

It’s hRd to get over that and if he has the opportunity he would have done it and could still. Cheating is a hard thing to get over and should be. More often then not it’s better to move on. Though sending him nude photos can get you into trouble as well.

AviatorTom · Answer

Though your partner almost cheated, you DID cheat on him, showing a complete lack of trust and trying to trap him. Grow up girl.

Pinay_ako · Answer

You testing him was lack of trust. So you did it to yourself. Now deal with it by letting him go.

Mr_twoface · Answer

I believe cheating always arises when there are certain elements in ones relationship that isn't satisfactory to ones needs and wants and instead of going through that hard and somewhat upsetting phase to communicate and resolve the issue, it leads to one cheating!

Being born and raised into middle eastern/Asian parents, I can understand some dilemmas you may face. When he almost cheated did you guys be serious or were you still on the talking/getting to know each other phase? I guess sex is not involved? Have you done other sexual foreplay? Why I am asking these questions is the fact that men think about sex very often and the society we live in today, being exposed to social media etc. can trigger one to make poor judgement. Yes, he hooked on the bait and shared an explicit picture but question is how serious you were.

With regards to your overcoming and moving on, only you can know that. Can you fully trust him? Do you discuss and talk about hot topics including sex, your views on cheating, your views on what to do if the sex/other elements of your relationship isn't satisfactory? If you have and you are fully satisfied with him and his answers, you need to bury that thought and move on. You will always have that in the back of your head but question to ask yourself is if you fully and utterly can trust him, him being surrounded by other women and having social media friends with other females.

b_lova · Answer

I cheated on my ex wife early in our marriage. Not emotionally as I wasn't dating a person but physically. I took ownership of my failure and confessed to my wife. She said she forgave me so we continued to be together. Over the next 18 years she would bring it up when she felt she needed to defend herself from any issue I had with her, so I feel like though she said she had forgiven me, she couldn't forget and it kept us from gaining intimacy. Finally I gave up trying and filed for divorce.

Personally I think the two of you should break up and not because of what he did, but because it sounds like you can't overcome it. It seems like you will always have this on your mind, maybe justifiably so, but that doesn't make for a healthy relationship.

Only if you can truly forget it and move on I would suggest staying and see what he does in the future. If he does actually cheat then walk away and don't look back.

lightbulb27 · Answer

by trusting your intuition and probably... moving on.

only you know what the real story of it is.

p. s. most guys are very stupid, but I know many that don't cheat. its easy to bait young stupid guys. that said, do you trust him and does he trust you...

Mrtcn01 · Answer

No sorry but not possible for this. Your personality is not suitable for this. You can forgive but you don’t forget. So forgetting is more important than forgiving. You have trusting issue and you are not totally secure about yourself. You always feel insecure not only in relationships but also acting about some situations. You need more time to be mature to handle this kind of problems

JacobJordan · Answer

You are a shit girlfriend anyways. He should have dumped you on the spot. I feel bad for him having a piece of trash that tests him all the time. He deserves far better.

jshm2 · Answer

So you asked stupid questions to answers you were not prepared for. So it is your fault for behaving like a fasiq and getting the rewards of a kafir as a result.

You need to let that man go, you are too psychotic to marry.

CrabCakes11 · Answer

Please break up. If you feel the need to try to catch him cheating, you do not trust him enough to be in a relationship. It would be better for both of your to break it off

dustybiker2 · Answer

Why are you wasting his and your time? It's been a year. Move on and both be happy. You're going to hold this over him always. It's not worth it.

Anonymous · Answer

Lol. You don't have a relationship and never did. You're both the problem. You need sit down and think about how to actually be in a relationship.

strateguy632 · Answer

almost! stop over reacting. he didn't even cheat

jahaims · Answer

If you don't trust your partner you can't be in a healthy relationship. If the only thing stopping someone from cheating is opportunity then they are already a cheater

boggboss · Answer

U put your man upto a test he fail u stayed now u are asking strangers if u can forget about it?

Madlc · Answer

never thought that women get jealous. If you do then yes, he will most likely do it again.

SYTHOX · Answer

Are you asking us the people of girlsaskguys how you feel and whether or not you will get over it? Perfect, no you will not. Ever

DonVitoCorleone · Answer

Don't worry too much, never mind. Greetings from Sicily 🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇷🇺

laly520 · Answer

he will cheat again he failed test

goebenbreslau · Answer

i'm sure he will cheat on you again

Will I ever overcome my partner's (almost) cheating?

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