When divorce happens, why is it okay for the mom to date whom ever she wants, but it's only okay for dad to date whom the ex approves?

[Anonymous]

This is a huge double standard that society thinks is okay.. The below image is evidence of it.. Just because my wife doesn't like who I'm dating and won't leave her, she wants to take me to court.

If like to hear from men and women both. Cause it's bullshit. The moment I complain about her boyfriend, I'm threatened with loss of access to my daughter. She complains about my girlfriend, and I refuse to indulge, and now she's taking me to court.

[Apple1996]

If there is a kid involved both people should approve of who that kid is gonna be around at the other parents house. I've heard way to many horror stories about the ex husband's new girlfriend murdering or abusing the kids. Personally I'd be way to scared to allow my kids to go over to their dad's house if he had a girlfriend over there

[Asker]

I should be able to do the same with her boyfriend, to suggest otherwise is straight up hypocrsy. Especially considering the highest rates of child abuse come from the mothers home not the fathers.

[Apple1996]

Yes but if she is the primary parent then she knows what's best for the kids. At least that's how the courts will see it

[Apple1996]

Is there any way you could keep your girlfriend out of the house while the kids are over? Maybe that's be a compromise

[Asker]

It's a sexist double standard. If she things my choice in girlfriend is bad, what does that say about her, because I chose her too. Your logic must be girl logic because it's definitely not real logic.

[Apple1996]

I just think the primary parent should get the final say in things. Regardless if that is mom or dad

[Apple1996]

May I ask how old are the kids? I know older kids sometimes get a say in what parent they are with

[Asker]

My daughter is 14. She's been begging to move in with me. Mom won't let her because she will lose financial support neither her nor her boyfriend work, they both live on state assistance, and if my daughter left. Thry would lose 1k per month from me. None of her other kids are mine.

[Apple1996]

Oh at 14 y'all should just do whatever your daughter feels comfortable with. If it was a little kid it'd be very different. It's not worth fighting in court for just for 4 years of custody cuz after that she is 18

[Asker]

I agree, my ex does not, she's one of those that hates me more than she loves our daughter, additionally she sees me as an atm.

[Asker]

Had a court datetgis morning, showed the judge what she posted to tfrm, and the judge talked to my daughter, I have been granted preliminary full custody, my daughter lives with me now. No more child support, and the judge has ended my spousal support as well and advised her and her boyfriend to get a job.

[Apple1996]

That is great! Glad they talked to your daughter and went with what she wanted

[Asker]

Me to, I'm not refusing mom access, I won't do that, but how often she sees our daughter will be at our daughters discretion

[Asker]

I did something I almost never do, I took half the week off so we could spend time as a family.

[Apple1996]

Awh that is nice to take some time to spend with your family

[Asker]

Agreed, were you and your family near me, I'd invite you all to the BBQ. You kind of inspired me to fight and have my daughters voice heard.

[Apple1996]

Omg that is a sweet offer 🥲 and yes it is very important that her voice got heard

[LaurenM1997]

She sounds so controlling and not letting the daughter move out no you are allowed to let her move in it sounds like the daughter is miserable with the mother I think she’d be more happier with you guys

[LaurenM1997]

Honestly sometimes people love to use their child as a weapon and it annoys me and that’s what the mothers doing

[AviatorTom]

I am divorced, and I know several people who are divorced, and none of them are required to get their ex's approval for dating.

The example you give is that of a woman trying to take advantage of the situation. She is interested only in her ex's money. Sad, very sad.

[AviatorTom]

Thanks for MHO

[Sevenpointfive]

it might be worth investing in a good divorce lawyer rather than a payout? i don't know how many years you have on those kids until they reach 13? the courts won't give you them unless you can prove she can't support them without child support.

[Artificial Intelligence]

Navigating the stormy seas of dating after a divorce can feel like trying to sail without a compass, right? First off, let’s tackle this societal double standard head-on. It’s not fair for one parent to have carte blanche in their dating life while the other gets sidelined, approval needed **insert eye roll here**. The truth is, as long as both parents are focusing on the well-being of their kiddo and making responsible choices, who they date should really be their own business.

It sounds like you’re caught in a real tough situation where communication and mutual respect have taken a backseat. Remember, it's all about creating a stable and loving environment for your little one. If things are escalating to court, it might be time to lovebomb your way through this storm with a good mediator or therapist who can help bring some peace and understanding back into the mix. Just don’t forget to keep your cool and stay true to yourself. You’ve got this!

[HighValue]

Women use the court system to abuse and mess over men and use the kids as weapons. It is very common. Many women are bad parents and many want to make their ex suffer any way they can.

[slatyb]

She is not in control and the court will not give her sole custody unless she can show that the girlfriend is a danger to the children.

[Somoneelse]

Let her go to court. If both of them dont work themselves, you won't be put on child support for sure. Especially if you already per your ex some money for your daughter.

[dudeinohio]

Get the divorce finalized an then tell her to get f', ed

[Asker]

Already done, the divorce part, I can't tell her to get f'd because if I do I will never see my daughter again. Family court ALWAYS favors theother.

[exitseven]

I like how you are the only one with a job. You need to find a lawyer you. An trust. This sounds like a shit storm in the making.

[strateguy632]

that story is awful, not okay n not ok for her until after the divorce.

[Twalli]

The issue with the below post is that his ex and her boyfriend don't want to work.

[IWILLPLEASEYOU]

If the marriage has been filled with the same problem I would have been with as many women that wanted me.