Why did my 27(M) partner become distant 27(f) female after our one year relationship?

[Rebelhair]

Please bear in mind I’m an Arabian woman living in an Arabic Muslim country, and this man I admired is Muslim and comes from a more conservative Islamic background than me. Women in his family don’t work night shifts or wear revealing clothes, they stay at home and wear veiled clothings. I knew this man from social media over the past year, he followed me on instagram and we started talking. We exchanged numbers when he knew I’m a plus sized woman (he’s a bbw admirer). From then we would talk almost everyday on the phone venting about our lives. He lives 3 hours away from me so I usually travel to his city because I stay in my grandparents beach house there. First 2 dates were almost sneaky links he would come and see me in night time past midnight. After that we started going out on dates at night and mornings. I would invite him to my place and we would kiss all night. My relationship with him is always a mixture of closure and distance. One day I’m in his arms the other I’m away stalking his social media and looking at his comments on random IG girl thirst trap posts. It started getting depressing when I found out how inactive he becomes when I travel back to my city. And how happy and active he is when I’m in his city. Last visit was in February 7, I cooked him his favorite meal and we spent time together but no honest communication on how we can progress in our relationship. Just romance. At the time when I was with him his grandmother was ill and I would try to emotionally support him. When I went back to my city I found out his grandmother passed away from his brother’s Facebook so I sent him condolences and called him to check on him throughout the days. But he would stay distant and quiet. So I travelled to his city one more time but I didn’t call him. He knew I was there so he contacted me asking why I didn’t inform him and I told him he sends me mixed signals about our relationship. He expressed how he got family issues back at home.

[Oliverlogan263]

Sister, it sounds like this relationship has been bringing you more confusion than joy lately. A few thoughts:

- Cultural/family factors may be weighing on him to take a more traditional path, which could explain the hot/cold routine.

- Grieving his grandmother's loss also has him emotionally distracted and pulled in different directions right now.

- If he's not communicating honestly about where things are headed, that's unfair to you after investing a year.

You deserve a partner who makes time for you consistently, not just when it's convenient. Someone proud to have you by their side through ups and downs.

My advice would be have one last open talk. Let him know you care but can't keep going round in circles unsure of your place in his life. See if he's ready to commit fully or if it's better you move on.

Don't settle for confusion, habibti. Stay optimistic - when the time is right, Allah will bless you with a love that lifts you both up equally insha'Allah. Focus on your light and it will guide you.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Maybe it's the recent passing of a family member that's got him distant, mostly if he was close to the person, if not then it can be the whole distance thing messing with his head, it can be an endless amount of things I'm sure.