Are marriages where they've been girlfriend and boyfriend for too long and married for a short time more likely to fail?

[Anonymous]

I've seen this happening. Among the marriages that failed, this is the common denominator I'm noticing:

Together for 15 years, married for 4 years

Together for 9 years, married for 2 years

Together for 10 years, married for only a year

Too much time has been spent dating and cohabitating, that by the time they got married, it doesn't even feel anymore like a journey to a new life. All those years being boyfriend and girlfriend took away all the excitement of a marriage.

[Finchie40]

Not necessarily, marriages and relationships fail because people are selfish and do not know how to remove selfishness for their partners’ it’s their way or no way selfish mindsets. It doesn’t matter how long they been together , what matters is if they are still choosing each other. Sadly most people jump into relationships without looking at the big picture , they are just infatuated with each other in The beginning but when push comes to shove , one of them might realize they really don’t have those same feelings for them , like they did before , they either get bored , or they think they are missing out on something, thinking grass is greener on the other side , thinking something is better for them like another person by thinking they will treat me better. The key word is Me , Me me me. Relationships need to be each other not just me , no matter what , you are no longer single when you choose to be in a relationship with someone , you are choosing that person the same way you want them choosing you , and sadly that’s isn’t always the case , because one of them decides to be selfish only caring about themselves. a d what they think is best for themselves You can’t expect someone to love you , if you can’t love them the same or equivalent in return , it should be you and your partner verse the world , making each other your top priority over everyone else. If you can’t remove selfishness for your partner? , don’t expect them to remove it for you. Selfish people should not enter into a relationship with anyone because they only care about themselves , they do not know how to give the same way they want to receive , and sadly that’s why there is so many failed relationships and divorces these days. Most people have a very hard time admitting they are wrong , it’s always someone else’s’ fault , they point fingers without pointing fingers at themselves first. Because they are selfish people.

[Asker]

yeah selfishness is the root of all problems. Greed starts from being selfish. Being in a relationship just because of the fireworks and feelings isn't enough reasons. They failed to even see if the person is even compatible to them and if they even have similar goals, values, etc.

[thisAppIsGarbage]

Yes because they married because they ran out of time and options, not because they were meant for each other. When you are meant for each other a 6 month courtship was way to long. When you know, you know.

[Asker]

Exactly. The girlfriend and boyfriend, infatuation stage has ran its course by then. They're way past the ''getting to know each other better'' already.

[AI Opinion]

Looking to spice up the understanding of relationships and marriage timelines here! 🌶️ Let's unwrap this mystery together. The idea that long-term couples are more likely to split after a brief marriage is like assuming a slow-cooked stew won't taste as good—there's more to it than meets the eye! In relationships, it's not about the time spent dating but how the connection deepens and evolves. Sometimes, after tying the knot, couples face a 'what now?' moment. The key ingredients—like communication, mutual respect, and keeping the flame alive—are crucial. If these components were nurtured throughout the dating period, marriage becomes the cherry on top, not a stale end to a long journey. Remember, love isn't a race; it's a marathon with heartbeats as the soundtrack. Let's keep the love stories exciting and the endings unpredictable! 💘

[D_Bone_Steak]

I'm just going to stop you there and ask you to look at what 70% initiates these divorces, and then look at that other 30% and discover how many of them been cheated on.

See... the goals of marriage are different between the genders and I'm not blaming the genders.

One gender gets to 'usually' walk away with all the cash and prizes. They will do what it takes baby, just to get that pay day.

Marriage is a broken institution due to the laws... I'm not saying it's men or that it's women. If it is, well, that's because the laws allow that. It started with no-fault divorce...

... and it's just getting worse.

All of them probably would've been together longer if they never married at all... Instead of legal obligation under the court of law... they were helping each other under their own volition. They were staying for the same reasons. Let government step in and they do what they do best... fuck it up and take a large chunk of the prize money for themselves. They'll pay off who let them take the largest chunk. Government still gets paid and that's all government cares about.

[Gert_Mittengard]

It's lustful and impure to live with anyone of the opposite sex, especially if you're"living together." This is very adulterous and is a waste of time. You need God and marriage for a relationship to work. If you need proof why, look around. Divorce rates are never higher and people are more selfish and miserable due to only thinking about themselves abandoningGod and morality for their own choices alone, and this does nobody any good.

In short, you don't live together before marriage, much less be intimate. That's reserved for marriage for it to not only symbolize God enjoining couples in marriage, but also to reserve everything that is special about relationships for when it is to exclusively share and foster the love between spouses and bring children into the world to further the sharing of that live, being fruitful and multiplying as God intended.

[DishLady]

Hmm. No. I've known couples who get married after dating three months -- married 50+ years and still madly in love with each other, frisky, etc. I've also known couples who were dating/living with eo for 10+ years who suddenly get engaged and all he** breaks loose so they split up... There isn't one formula that works for all couples in the universe...

[SotiCoto]

Marriage shouldn't matter one way or another. If they were going to do it anyway then it seems strange to wait so long for it, but it isn't like the marriage part was ever necessary in the first place.

[Asker]

yeah if they were going to stay together for so many years, why even marry
A marriage is usually when it's a short-term dating (no more than 3 years) with the purpose of getting married and starting a family.

[edmwarrior]

Maybe you’re on to something. I was with my ex for 7 years before we got married for 2. Then the 10th year we were separated but she was dating multiple guys back to back.

[Asker]

I just noticed that seems to be the trend nowadays and most of those relationships fails.

[Twalli]

I don't think marriage needs to be exiting to be good. In my case, my girlfriend is already listed as my primary beneficiary on everything. So marriage is just really a formality of the relationship we already have. She's my wife in all but name.

[Asker]

The important thing is both of you are happy with that arrangement. Do you plan on marrying her though?

[Twalli]

Not exactly, because we can't. I make enough $ that she'd lose her disability if we got married. So instead we'll have a commitment ceremony and live as husband and wife. If, however, I win the lottery l, I will marry her, because then it won't matter if she loses disability.

[Razp_Sorbet]

I don't think it makes a difference. Marriage doesn't change anything about a long relationship

[Asker]

Nope but I've seen several of those short marriages failed. I think in those cases, the relationship likely already ran its course and they got married for other reasons when it started going sour by then.

[Razp_Sorbet]

Many factors could be at play. They could have lasted only that much longer had they not got married.

[Asker]

Or they were already at a breaking point and the marriage just accelerated a divorce.

[LazerBean]

Don't know for sure, but it does seem like a trend.

[BarryLiverstone]

I don’t know, haven’t seen any studies on it. Being in a relationship for 10 years and then getting married does sound like something triggered the marriage

[jahaims]

It has nothing to do with the length of time dating. It is because of the pressure of the commitment. Or some people don't show their true colors until they are married.

[DextroShade]

I was in a relationship with my wife for a decade before we married, and we are still going strong!

[Anonymous]

No. I and if so I'd imagine if that's thing the woman is to blame.

[slatyb]

My wife and I are still together.

[Asker]

How long were you both dating?

[slatyb]

We were together for eight years before marrying. We were both working and not planning to have children together.

[Asker]

There are exceptions and you guys worked out. Glad to hear you both are still together. It's just that suddenly what I'm mentioning seems to be a trend.

[slatyb]

I advise women who are dating to find a husband to bring this up on the first or second date. It's doesn't have to be confrontational. "What are your goals for the next five years? What would you like your life to be?"

A young man who doesn't want to answer this question is not seriously dating. Don't waste your time on him.

[Nikki1989]

No, it doesn't work like that.

[sheikalana]

That's what statistics say.

[Loner111]

I don't see why that would be the case...

[Asker]

Maybe because in some of those cases, they've already spent so many years together that they got bored afterwards since there they missed out on the excitement of starting as a married couple.