Would you rather seek out love or have love find you?

[ManInChains]

Seek it out

Let it find me

A total of 43 votes were cast: 13 girls and 30 guys. See detailed results

[HawkPerception]

Well letting it find me won't work. Us guys don't have it easy like girls in that regard. We can't just sit looking pretty and expect to be approached. We have to be actively approaching if we want to increase our odds.

Gotta go places and socialize every chance we get. Take the opportunities when they come.

[ForsakenQuill]

So if men don't do anything they'll remain single forever?

[ForsakenQuill]

Is that the new "survival of the fittest"?

[HawkPerception]

Most guys should. Unless you're the top 10% that gets approached by women on the regular

[msc545]

I would rather let it find me if it's going to. Looking for it is too demoralizing and takes too long and too much time.

[msc545]

Thanks to women and their arrogance, entitlement, and impossible "standards", dating has become a horrible experience best avoided by all men.

[ForsakenQuill]

Agreed

[AI Opinion]

Aiming to sprinkle a bit of romance into the air, I'd say having love find you is like stumbling upon a hidden treasure. Imagine just living your life, being your fabulous self, and then, boom, love taps you on the shoulder like a gentle breeze. It's magical, alluring, and somehow feels more like fate playing its part. That said, there's something adventurous about seeking out love, like you're on a quest. But between you and me, being swept off your feet when you least expect it? That's the dream! 💫 Keep shining and let love find its way to you—it's often when the most beautiful stories begin.

[TheRealPepperPotts]

A balance of the two. I'd be concerned about being pursued too much because I'm naturally cautious, and love-bombing is a red flag. I'd be looking for the catch in the situation. But, I don't really think making an extreme effort is a great idea, either. It can lead to trying to make things work that really don't.

I'd say I'd rather be prepared and on the alert. Not necessarily seeking it out, but not daydreaming, either.

[MrOracle]

Finding a partner is a lot like finding a job: it's POSSIBLE for a great job to "find you", but that's RARE. The vast majority of the time, if you want a job, you have to go out and look for one, and do a lot of vetting of the company and the position to make sure it's a good fit for you. The same is true for a relationship: you may have random luck, but for the vast majority of people, you are going to have to go out and LOOK for it, and vet that person and make sure they're a good fit.

[Ladsin2]

Not sure how to answer the poll. You tell me.

I think there are four types of love. Eros, Philos, Storge, and Agape. I think eros/ erotic love finds you. Philos and storge aren't really relevant to the conversation. You see a woman/man who gets your juices flowing and become infatuated with them. Agape is a choice. Sacrificial love is what should follow eros with time. The man should be willing to sacrifice his resources and life for his woman/ family. The woman should be willing to sacrifice her independence and short-term happiness for her man/ family. This is a choice. It's why marriage vows exist and used to be enforceable by the state.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

It found me, every single time, so, I can only vote for one option. The way I see it, looking actively for love seems detrimental, because love is not a goal, it's something that happens, or not, when meeting people, just that. At least, in my experience.

[exitseven]

I used to seek it out. Mostly with disastrous results. I would see somebody that I was attracted to and figure out a way to get her to go out with me. Sometimes I would really put a lot of effort into this.

Then one day she just dropped out of the sky and into my life.

[Vanny20]

Well, It may be best to show interest in finding love, but not desperately search for it. We should aim to be confident in our value regardless of the result of a date. Dating does not have to be hard work; when it is taken lightly, it can be enjoyable..

[ManInChains]

I don't think dating has been considered enjoyable for years

[Juxtapose]

I wish it was something easy and light-hearted haha.

[PeachyPie93]

I will let it find me since I don't have the desire for it anymore. It would have to take for a guy to be super interested and treat me like it "has to be me", before I would ever bother to try again.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

And, sometimes, even that, is still not enough. So, there seems to be even more factors at play in this equation, I think? [:

[PeachyPie93]

@Maybe_Maybe_not Probably you are right loI I think it is because I been hurt and don't have much trust in men, plus I don't feel good enough for anyone as well. So love just feels pointless to hope for, since give it 2 years the guy will stop being nice and will find faults in you, so what is the point? There isn't one.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

You are describing what we see when we assume the worst. I know you didn't chose this negative view, yet this is only a view. Not a truth to consider.

It's like, you know, this cartoon with a black cloud pouring rain above you, stopping you from seeing what you could see. Assuming the worst leads you to be forced into one view only. Rationally speaking, I'm sure you understand, somewhere that what you see is not really what exists, it's a distortion.

May you find strength, strategy, time or even luck to dismiss this black cloud, either completely or at least enough to live with a different perspective :)

[nolabels]

I wish that I knew what I know now, when I was younger, as the lyrics in the song go.

If I had it do all over again, I'd pursue, rather than allow myself to be pursued.

[noCryHONEY]

I don't want to look for love, she must find me

[OddBeMe]

This is scary. 70% want love “to find them”. Lol. Yeah. Wait for success don’t reach for anything in life. Lolololol

[Babygirl_S]

It would be so hot for a dream guy to find me and chase me

[morganherrel]

Actively seek it or forever be alone. But anyone would rather it just find them.

[Jamie05rhs]

I don't care either way. As long we both get found lol.

[PBandJ_Nerd]

I don't know if I have a choice.

[Fireguy17]

Either one is just fine.

[llorando]

I'd rather love find me.

[Dongie]

Either way is the same result. Doesn't matter.

[thegreenyogi]

Have love find me.

[Slim57]

Find me