AITA for refusing to pay rent?

[Anonymous]

so i (26F) live with my partner (32M) and have been for 5 years now. I like my partner and his family are okay and have been nice to me.

currently, my partner and i live in a small 2 bedroom house. I've tried to make my house my home. We have a pretty big backyard and his father has decided to make camp in one spot in the paddock next door to us (there's no house, his just camping rent free lol).

but this is where the issue comes to play, his father invites my partners sisters over and they bring their kids, dogs and the whole town. They visit unannounced and its getting to the point its actually starting to make me feel this isn't my house anymore. I have told my partner how i feel, of course he did go at me. I said “i am not coming from a bad place, just a message would be preferred”. as i would do the same if my family visited unannounced to me or my partner, i would message them. My partner has made certain rules for my friends and family, 1 being that a friend of mine isn't welcomed here. He just doesn't like her and my mother can't stay past 10pm, I've accepted them rules for him. But when it comes to his family they pretty much exclude me from being here. I've told him that if this continues i will be passing my rent onto his father and will be living like a freeloader. I have looked at apartments in my HT and am considering moving, i feel it might make our relationship better and i can have my own space.

one of my partners sisters has decided to use our house as her birthday party and i wasn't asked, i was excluded from that, this same sister also dumps her kid onto us on our days off so she can drink and put her legs out. I work part time and i am usually gone 8 hours a day and have 2 days off and being a daycare on my days off isn't what i signed up for.

i do know my partner struggles to say “no” to his dad, but he really needs to and I've told him that too. Everything i say falls on deaf ears

[MzAsh]

Whose name is the house in? What they’re doing is highly inconsiderate and rude, but legally if you don’t own the house, you don’t have much leverage outside of verbal negotiations or moving out yourself.

[Asker]

We are currently renting, both mine and his name is on the lease. Both him and i pay rent, but I've been thinking about upping my signature and rent money and passing it onto his father. Since when my partners sisters want to use our house as a dog park or a party house, they only ask my partner and his father and i am constantly excluded. It makes me feel like my house isn't mine and i feel like a freeloader.

I have voiced these feelings to my partner and i get the “oh but you know i hate saying no to my dad”, i said to him “im sorry, but sometimes you have to”. there's been times where we have gone out for lunch or other things and when we arrived home my doors were wide open, the gate was closed, his sisters were there, their kids were there and their dogs were there. There was no message, no phone call, nothing. We just got home and they were there. He did get annoyed and say “this is my Fking house too”, but then didn't say anything to them.

I was pissed of course, i said “a message would be nice man” and he walked past me like i was speaking another language. His sisters have been doing this for a long time now, even when they visit inside my house they always change their kids asses and leave the dirty nappies laying around. My partner wants me to be friends with them, they aren't my cup of tea, they are disrespectful and aren't mature of my liking

[DeeDeeDeVour]

That sounds so unfairly "lop-sided" to me.

I have a bad feeling in my gut that tells me it's not gonna get better for you.

You have to soon decide if your love for your partner is worth your sanity.

I'd chose sanity if I were you.

[Asker]

I have considered moving and getting my own apartment and its been a thought for so long, when his dumpy sisters want to use my house for house parties and events, they only ask my partner and his father. I have even considered upping my signature on the lease agreement form and passing the rent onto his father and him. Since they want to act like the house isn't in my name, i will help them.

I have had this discussion with my partner countless times and its falling on deaf ears, which is what is making my choices hard. I love my partner and sometimes (when his not drinking) he can be a lovely person, very generous and would do anything for anyone. But all this and saying “no” to his father and his family, is definitely starting to cause a rift between us. I of course would say something to my family, if they visited unannounced and brought all their children and their pets to my house and treated my house like a dog park. He has said that about my friend and my mum and now they dont visit me. I really have no friends and his suggested i be friend with his sisters, although they are nice. We aren't on the same plane, i have respect and they dont

[AI Opinion]

Oh, love! That sounds like a whirlwind of family drama! 🌀 Here’s your relationship coach’s perspective: boundaries are hot, especially in shared spaces. You've every right to ask for respect from in-laws. 💪 It's not about refusing rent; it's about standing up for what’s fair. If your partner has rules for your fam, why shouldn't it apply to his too? Communication can be spicy, but maybe it’s time to serve some cool truths. If it's not working, making your own space might just be the breath of fresh air you need. 🌬️ Trust your gut and fight for a love that respects you back! 💖

[Jmmmfi4]

YEAH THATS BULLSHIT