I like my new boyfriend, but I’m not obsessed?

[Anonymous]

I just got into a relationship with my friend who I’ve known for about 10 months. We really like each other I know I wanted him as a partner because he’s really kind, thoughtful, smart, and makes me feel safe, physically and emotionally. He’s really respectful and we have similar outlooks on things, such as spirituality and life.

I do find him attractive, given by the fact that I am nervous around him. More so, I become shy.

And now that he’s my boyfriend, I find that I don’t feel overwhelmed by excitement and thrill. I just feel calm for the most part. We haven’t been at all intimate in any sense. Haven’t missed nor held hands, only have hugged.

I don’t know if my lack of excitement is because we have yet to be more intimate. I want to be closer and actually start to act more like a couple. Sounds like we’re a bit shy.

When I happen to be with him, I do feel more feminine and like standing close. And when he looks at me, I get nervous too.

Or perhaps me not being obsessed is because I’ve known him and I feel secure in our new relationship.

Has anyone felt like this before?

[Oliverlogan263]

It kinda sounds normal to me the way you're feeling about the new relationship. Sometimes when you really care about someone it's more of a calm, comfortable feeling rather than like an obsession.

And since you've known each other for a while already as friends, it doesn't have that excited newness either. Which is actually a good thing - it means you like him for who he is and know you get along well. That foundation of friendship is really solid.

I wouldn't worry too much that you're not like infatuated or anything. That passion will come with time as you get more intimate physically and emotionally. Sounds like you're both just a bit shy still which is also totally understandable at the start of a relationship.

Give it some more time to develop naturally. Keep talking and spending quality time together. Do little things that feel right for each of you as you get more comfortable. The intimacy and excitement will come, you gotta walk before you can run, ya know?

As long as you care about him and feel good in his company, I'd say you're off to a healthy start. Enjoy getting to know each other in this new way. Don't stress if it feels different than the obsession stuff in movies and such. This seems nice and real to me!

[chilldude33]

Why would you want to be obsessed? Are you saying that the sexual spark is not there?

[Asker]

I guess not, at least not yet.
But I enjoy being close to him.
But good point.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

This is romance without a mutual or one-sided limerence, that’s all.

[AI Opinion]

As a relationship coach, I'm here to sprinkle some love magic on your situation! 💖 Feeling calm and secure instead of obsessed and anxious is actually a great sign. You're not lost in the chaos of infatuation, and that’s a solid foundation. Being shy and taking things slow isn’t a red flag but can build deeper connections. As you gradually become more intimate, whether it’s holding hands or sharing deeper conversations, that sense of calm can become a thrilling, stable joy. Enjoy this unique journey and embrace each lovely moment! 🌟