Is dating in your 40s worth it for men?

[Anonymous]

I turned 40 this year. I've never been in a relationship. I tried for 15 years and nothing but no. I've tried young women, older women, fat women, skinny women. Should I care anymore? I've been myself my whole life. Kind caring, sweet, intelligent, funny, kind to animals, masters degree, good cook, artistic. I've been told I'm good looking. I don't blame women. I blame the hatred between men and women and the "experts" in the media. Should I give up. Im tired of being alone but I'm tired of the pain of rejection.

[TheRealPepperPotts]

I'm sorry that you've had such a rough time. That's demoralizing.

When reading what you wrote, I did notice something that stood out to me that you could think about. You referred to yourself 12 times in the paragraph, often at the beginning. It made me wonder if you have any other relationships or long-term friendships outside of a job. Do you hang out with buddies? Go mountain biking? Do rock climbing? Sports? Travel with friends or extended family? Volunteer?

It just seems like maybe you don't have much of a social life in general, not just in the dating realm. Expanding your social life and practicing some social skills, recording how you speak and your body language so you can observe how you present yourself, and paying close attention to how people respond to you in general could give you some helpful insight.

Only you can determine if it's worth it or not for you. But if you could picture meeting a woman who made your heart skip a beat, made you feel at ease, and whose company caused you to completely lose track of time, do you think you'd feel that being with her was worth all the previous disappointments? Food for thought, and I wish you luck.

[OlderAndWiser]

1. "I turned 40 this year." I'll be 70 in January.

2. "I've never been in a relationship. I tried for 15 years and nothing but no." Have you ever been in therapy? It sounds like something is seriously wrong.

3. "I've tried young women, older women, fat women, skinny women." Fair enough.

4. "Should I care anymore?" That is for you to decide.

5. "Kind caring, sweet, intelligent, funny, kind to animals, masters degree, good cook, artistic. I've been told I'm good looking." Modest, too!

6. "I don't blame women." Right; you should blame yourself.

7. "I blame the hatred between men and women" ALL women do not hate ALL men. It sounds like all of your wisdom about relationships has been gleaned from the internet.

8. "and the "experts" in the media." Fuck the experts! They don't control anybody.

9. "Should I give up." Again, that is for you to decide.

10. "I'm tired of being alone but I'm tired of the pain of rejection." Nobody enjoys rejection. Experiencing the pain of rejection on several occasions helps most of us to become inured to the pain.

Dude, if you constantly get the same response from all women, either

a. there's something wrong with all women, or

b. there's something wrong with you.

Which explanation do you think is more likely?

[NachoAverageUser]

Well the way I think there are men who are far less off that this guy and they get women. Status, money, etc meaning nothing if you let it affect you.
There is a guy who lost his legs in the boston bombings and still managed to attract a nurse with no disability. There is a girl who her leg in a car accident, still managed attract perfectly handsome guy with no disability. These people attract anything they want, because of their attitude and self belief.

[OlderAndWiser]

@NachoAverageUser Exactly! And I am a bit put off when someone has repeatedly failed in dating and they blame the opposite sex instead of acknowledging personal responsibility,

[NachoAverageUser]

Completely agree

[Asker]

I never blamed the opposite sex at all. If I have problems I work on them. It's just maybe I'm too picky. Not wanting someone who isn't a maga freak is a priority. Not wanting a drunk and a drug addict is one too. I'm not asking for a supermodel or an angel just someone decent. Plus the Kansas City area is a horrible place for dating for anyone let alone for a liberal. Plus the dating environment these days is horrible for anyone. Plus being a liberal for the next four years is going to suck so much.

[OlderAndWiser]

Maybe you shouldn't define yourself by your political beliefs.

[NachoAverageUser]

It always worth dating at any age. There a lot of women of your age and older who are looking for someone.

However you are going to have to go through the painful process of women rejecting you, just like you rejecting women you don't like.

I mean Sh*t on me, if there are people who have absolutely nothing going for them, like prisoners, poor men, serial killers who can attract women, I have not doubt you can as well. There men you have no arms or legs, can get women.

There is women or man for someone, just have too keep looking in the hay stack and that women you want is the needle in there.

Perservance is the key to success pal, no matter field, jobs, dating, sports.

Stallone you only survived the hollywood scene not because he was talented or even a good actor, but because he could handle the rejection. He said there are a lot of talented actors but none them make it, because they can't handle rejection.

Elon musk just survived making space x by its last launch and that was 4th launch, otherwise if hadn't done that last launch, he would of been bankrupt.

You have to big balls and take huge risks to succeed.

[Asker]

Thank you for a mature non insulting answer. I don't hate or blame women for the rejection. Maybe some or a lot of it is my fault. But I don't blame women. Western culture is in a state of change right now. I think women should have all the same rights as men. It's just people holding out for some dream person who doesn't exist is killing us. I knew a girl who would only date rich guys. Because she said she deserved one. He ended up bashing her head into a concrete floor and has permanent brain damage. She can never have children and has to wear a heart monitor. She's was only 28. Im very sorry for what happened to her. It's not her fault but that kind of stuff can happen with anyone not just rich guys.

[Crimsyjo]

I'm 45. I'm looking for a man around my age. I'm pretty similar to you. I work in care so I'm very empathic and caring. I like to give and nurture my man. I'm very sexual and adventurous. I prefer a man a bit younger than me and young at heart mentally cos I have a lot of energy and zest for life. I'm an artist too. Doing a degree. Like communicating.

I attract men for sex but not relationship. Why?

I see men like you saying you can't find a good woman. And women like me saying can't find a good man. It's a mystery to me!

Giving up tho? Giving up means 100% zero chance of finding love. I'd rather keep trying and have 0.01% chance than none. So don't give up. I don't know what you are "doing wrong". It's kinda impossible to know without knowing you personally.

I hate to say it but maybe you come across as "too nice". I don't mean you should be a dick. But women want a man to take charge a bit and be dominant. Show you don't want a woman to look after you, making all the decisions.

🤷‍♀️

[AI Opinion]

I’m here to sprinkle a bit of stardust on your love life! Honestly, dating in your 40s is like fine wine; it gets better with time. It’s not about changing who you are. Embrace your kindness and intelligence and put your unique talents on display. Throw that rejection baggage away; use it as a stepping stone, not a stumbling block. Stay in the game, and keep charming the world with your authenticity! Who knows, love might be just around the corner! 😊

[Finchie40]

Yes, there are plenty of girls’ out there that like guys’ in their 40’s

[coachTanthony]

Ever ask them why they said NO? Could be a pattern there.

[MaybeTony]

You could have a doctoral degree and all of these resume like credentials, but what really matters is how women simply feel around you. That's it. Even if you're attractive, they could feel uneasy and off around you. Men with far less education and work ethic score all the time with high quality women because they're confident, can hold a conversation, and have a charismatic personality. You're looking at this in the wrong way. If you've dated this many people with no success, the problem is likely you logically speaking. I don't say this to be a dick, and yes societal dating culture is strange right now, but I'm trying to offer you a actual piece of valuable advice, which is to self reflect. No, you shouldn't give up.

[Fireguy17]

Try a site like it's just lunch, or eHarmony, or any of the other better pay to join sites.
Because of the cost involved most of the people on those sites tend to be more serious about finding a relationship.
Some have very busy lives, live in a rural area, or don't like going to the bars.
Me I was all 3 of those.
I joined eHarmony years back and that is where I met my wife.
I think we were both on it for about a year.
I'm not saying that just because it worked for me it will work for you, but they are pretty good about matching people with similar tastes, goals and interests.
At least you know that the majority of the people on those sites are looking for someone too.

[luvstoned4him]

I mean.. you can find love at any age really but I probably won't try so hard at 40. I would just go with the flow, enjoy your own company and do what you enjoy re-state//background_color_rgba (0, 0, 0, 0), font_color_rgb (77, 77, 77), justifyLeft

[Unit1]

Hm, I can't say I can see anything wrong from your side, even if I try to.

Dating's overall a pain in the ass as it is, so it is fairly ordinary to not yield any results for years.

Rest assured giving up won't stop you being alone.

[PsychicBoobs]

Not if they have poor expectations. They are not twenty anymore.

[MK1997]

I have fuck buddies in their 40s and 50s but no relationship because of the age gap

[Anonymous]

I'd be willing to be a LOT of money that the problem is absolutely you. You need to sort out what your biggest deficiencies are and remedy them.

[IHateBeingaMan]

why do i get the feeling you are a normal looking guy, i'm going to assume you are a virgin as well?

[LiamJHayden]

Dating is worth it if one's goal is to meet people and have fun.

[Anonymous]

These reminders will always depress me and irritate me

[Anonymous]

Does it worth? Probably not, I'm in the same situation as you, except - I never dated.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Keeping me pretty busy...

[Anonymous]

Your piss-poor attitude doesn't help.

[Asker]

Neither does yours.

[paledreams]

It's not.
30 year old male here

[moviedude714]

Oh you think dating is not worth it anymore as a guy in 30s?

[In_Trance]

Depends on your sense of value

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Yes, give up