Why do nice people end up alone?

Question

Screenwriter · Accepted Answer

There's a difference between being a pleasant person and being "too nice," or so nice, people view you as a doormat and someone to be used then ignored. There are many who feel that a nice person is a weak person, and try to lord it over someone who is nice and generous.

The point is, you have to make judgments about who to be nice to. Jesus said, don't cast your pearls before swine. This doesn't mean don't be generally pleasant with everyone, but it means reserve your best self for people who matter: good friends and family.

There are those who do not value what is given too freely. This is unfortunate, but be a wise about your behavior/actions with those you don't know well. A little reserve protects you. Listen and learn some of whom a person is before you give.

And if you find that someone you thought was worth being generous and kind to was not worth your efforts, close that door so you are not hurt by them. It's not worth your time or efforts to pursue friendship or a relationship if it's one-sided.

The only reason a decent person ends up alone is if they are not cognizant of these facts. Use good sense with people. Give when it's warranted. Know your value and self worth and if you don't have enough self-esteem, work on that. It'll pay you back in droves and you'll develop great friendships and strong relationships of all kinds.

IslaTheWitch · Accepted Answer

because there is no need to rush or force things...

being alone is good, too... you have enough time for all the things that were always put in for later... for me, those are books :D

I got over the events from a year ago... I recovered, found myself back, and now I'm enjoying myself again... I meet people... some men show me their interest... but until now, there has been no spark :D

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Because being nice draws in people that take advantage of you , that will use you , until they can’t use you anymore. People that aren’t nice , have no dignity or respect for anyone but themselves. They point fingers before pointing fingers at themselves first , they don’t take accountability for their selfish actions or behavior, it’s always someone else’s fault but never their own fault. One thing I learned for myself, was to never let someone take advantage over me again , if they can’t be nice to me then I will not be nice to them period. If they choose to walk away , I just let them go and realize I deserve better than that shit. and sometimes being alone is the best option for myself. Because someone that actually loves you and and cares about you and wants to be with you , will never walk away from you period , they will have your back the same way you have theirs , someone that is just using you , won’t hesitate to walk away from you , when they feel something better comes along or they have nothing left to gain from you , because all they care about is themselves , A user will expect you to change for them , but they do not know how to change for themselves. So when a user disappears out of your life , just look at it like they did you a favor.

Summeroflove · Accepted Answer

Many nice people get tired of being taken advantage of. They get tired of people using them and playing on their emotions.

ohsheeT · Answer

It's not so much nice people it is people that know themselves that love themselves that are content that are happy. In their own way and they don't need somebody else to be right there with them they are okay by themselves

Sometimes it's just very very peaceful and enjoyable when the TV's off the radios off and you're doing whatever you're doing and you just hear the sound waves going to the air and you can think with clarity with function and you can get into what you're thinking and learn and grow with it from it

RichA322 · Answer

Because today, nice people are regarded as

weak
losers
Will always say "yes"
Having no free will
boring
Fearful
easy to manipulate
easy to exploit
easily replaceable by another nice person willing to get exploited
the perfect slave

And after a while even the nicest person will recognize that they are only used, abused, exploited and being taking advantage of by A-holes. And that it will only be those A-holes who will get the credit for what the nice person did, while they are expected to give even more while receiving even less. From that point onwards they will never be able to unsee it and only do the absolute minimum for other people and (often) remove themselves completely from society to prevent being constantly abused and used.

Because the media and television have drilled it into the minds of millions of people for several centuries, that the A-holes are actually the nice persons you should trust and nice persons are always the enemy who must be abused because they are weak.

FreyaRed · Answer

Guy who makes podcast about geopolitics I hear sometimes told, "there is no moral, gratitude and remorse in politics."
It's seems our entire life is politics. People accept you more willingly if you demand for smallest things something in return, when you give something for free makes you automatically to a loser.
In fact if you understand human nature, you prefer to remain alone unless you need something from others. The less you need the less annoying are those mutual exploitation relationships.
Maybe some first love relationship which develop to next level like that of my parents grants life long more or less fair emotional exchange, but majority of teen loves felt apart in my generation. There is no naive puppy love you had in the past with partners which came later, it's just mature exchange, in other words politics.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

I don't see any nice people being lonely, pretty much the opposite, I mean nice people know where and how to find nice people, it's an acquired taste, an ability to spot and filter accurately. Mainly for adults.

I've seen so called nice people blaming people for their own loneliness, some of them were truly naïve, some of them thought people owe them relationships.

Some of them didn't realize, yet, that they're not made of pure benevolent energy. They just wish for it, unrealistically... Dreams of a fictional personality they don't incarnate.

Sevenpointfive · Answer

because nice people usually are 1 of 2 types:

1) they are so nice that they have little personality. they are too agreeable and lack any substance as a person. they will always agree with you in a sort of way and will never stand up for themselves or their thoughts and opinions.

2) they are liars. they are nice to your face, but inside think you and probably everybody else is a piece of shit.

mobiusforniner · Answer

Because they love, expecting to receive. So life is about what must be, rather than an acceptance of what is. Their “niceness” is predicated by what they feel is an expectation in return. Love for them is therefore conditional. In the end, they are not truly “nice” people.

RingOfFire · Answer

I think human beings are competitive by nature and being nice isn't an advantage in that arena. If you want a relationship you have to get out there and compete. Nice guys/girls finish last.

I also think some people are too wrapped up in self-pity because they think they are so nice and can't understand why everybody doesn't see that.

So I think it's a combination of things that leads to questions like this.

Djaay · Answer

Not true. Being genuine holds all the power above those ingenious types of layers out there. Those who plummet above the majority know that they can extend they're courtesy or kindness towards others without damaging themselfs with others delusions. I'm stratforward , honest and truthfull... most people can't handle that , but a lot take kindness for weakness.
Men today don't marry smart women , they marry kind women.

Quigly · Answer

Single people are not alone. Single people are still surrounded by family.

Marriage is an institution of greed. It is literally an institution for selfish assholes created by Imperialist countries. It is an imperialistic Institution created by Imperialistic countries before the birth of America.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Because these days people don't want to be with someone nice, they think that he's weak and useless in life and because their minds are controlled by satan.

Daniela1982 · Answer

Sometimes it is good to be alone.

NathanDavis · Answer

I'm not alone... is that because I'm not nice?

Anonymous · Answer

It’s because they have been burned and/or are paranoid about getting burned.

FenixG45 · Answer

If I knew the answer to this, then I would be happy!

foxsquirrell · Answer

Why hang out with scum, animals in human form.

CB-Raido-Time · Answer

Because we don't get along with non nice people.

In_Trance · Answer

That depends what you mean by nice because it's a subjective term

Anonymous · Answer

I dont meet the requirements or the criteria for dating

Blueeyes81 · Answer

Because life isn't fair.

HungTexan · Answer

I think that’s a false statement/belief.

tfan1 · Answer

That’s me - nice guy who finished last 💔😞

BigTex53 · Answer

Not true in my experience

Jennz6 · Answer

Nice guys finish last

ehatsham_hussain · Answer

Because they are nice

PepperJackson · Answer

The universe gives you what you want.

Anonymous · Answer

I wonder the same :(

Klelia2001 · Answer

People are tired of been walked all over.

Anonymous · Answer

Nice guys finish last

Why do nice people end up alone?

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