Is it weird for my boyfriend to want a public apology from me?

[Anonymous]

So last night we were at the gym and I was pissed at my boyfriend because he was talking to his buddy and ignored me when I tried to introduce myself to them. So I walked away and worked out on my own. Then my boyfriend came over and talked about having a tummy ache, so I said coldly “ok drink some water”, then he said something again and I just ignored him. He got pissed and walked away.

After I cooled down I realized I was being petty, so I pulled him aside to the locker room and I apologized to him. I fully acknowledged that I was being petty and told him I was offended that he brushed me off earlier for not introducing me to his gym buddies. It was all good.

Then all of a sudden this morning he got mad at me for publicly disrespecting him yesterday in front of other guys at the gym and he expected a public apology out of me, I’m like what? Okay I know what I did was childish but really? No one was even looking at us when I gave him the cold shoulders, everyone was busy with their own workouts.

Am I just crazy for thinking that I thought this was all settled since he’s already accepted my apology yesterday? Is a public apology even necessary?

[SteveSmith1985]

Wow. No a public apology is definitely not appropriate. That's super fucked up. I have never in my life heard of someone demanding a public apology.

You are not crazy. It should have been settled the night before. Honestly... you want to talk about "red flags"? This is a huge fucking red flag.

There is something seriously wrong with the guy who thinks its ok to demand a public apology.

That's honestly concerning. He has some fucked up views

It's not usual. It's not appropriate. It's not ok. Not only is a public apology unnecessary... it's really messed up that he lives in a world where it's ok to ask/demand one.

This is the kind of thing that should make you take overall stock of him, and your relationship. This is way way out-of-line. This is fucking wrong.

[Asker]

Right? I can understand if he asked for a public apology if I have embarrassed him publicly but in this case though… I think it’s overkill

[SteveSmith1985]

Can you really imagine someone's girlfriend giving a public apology to a bunch of strangers? That's a fucked up mental picture. I've never seen that happen.

It's more than overkill. It's messed up.

So what happened? Is he still wanting this public apology?

How long have you been together?

[Orion84]

The fact that you apologized was very mature on your part, and that should be acknowleged; well done.

He, on the other hand, is being a very immature, especially since he was initially at fault for ignoring you. Now this public apology nonsense? No, that's just him being a petty little bitch, and you don't owe him that, at all.

I think you have every right to be offended that he even suggested such a thing. He's trying to act like you "disrespected him" when his demand proves he's not worth respecting, in the first place. Screw him.

[Asker]

Yeah I don’t get it… I mean I get it if he was pissed that I ignored him, but that’s why I apologized because I know it was just me being petty. Now he’s switching up and saying that I purposefully disrespected him in front of the other guys, and how I shouldn’t have pulled him aside to apologize.

He never even apologized to me for ignoring me…

[Orion84]

Yeah, I don't even know your boyfriend, and I'm getting some douchey "alpha bro" vibes from him because of this whole public apology thing.

Quite honestly, the only thing he deserves for even suggesting it is telling him to get bent. Not only did he not apologize for his part, but now he's insulting you further with this public apology garbage.

[Asker]

Yeah I’m starting to feel that way about him as well… He’s not usually all “alpha” like this so this came out of left field.

What’s weird is that he was fine yesterday but this morning he switched up even accusing me of intentionally embarrassing him in front of other guys. I still apologized again but reminded him that we’ve talked about this yesterday, I fully take responsibility of my pettiness and to stop making things more complex than it is…

[Orion84]

This is all on him, at this point. You were the grown up, and you apologized, and what he's asking you to do now is very disrespectful.

I don't know where he got this idea from, but I don't think you deserve that, and you shouldn't take it from him. He is fully in the wrong, here.

Like, I'm actually offended FOR you, right now.

[Asker]

Thank you for being on my side, I really appreciate it 🥺

I guess I’ll just let him cool off, I hope he’s capable of self reflecting on how immature he’s being… I don’t think he sees that he’s also in the wrong though because now he’s being cold to me lol

[Orion84]

You're very welcome 👍

I agree, just leave it alone for a little while, and see what happens. If he brings it up again, you can revisit it, then, but don't put up with that crap from him, if he persists.

Tell him you've got an internet buddy that'll come kick his ass. 😂

[Asker]

Lol I will! I’ll just remind him that we’ve discussed this already so no need to create any more drama. Thanks again!!

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you two are a perfect fit.

Both extremely egocentric and immature. Acting like a spoiled brat wasn't necessary, yet you did it, him being a dick, isn't a necessary, yet he's being one.

Maybe he accepted it in the moment, thought about it and figured out that he didn't accept your apology, that deep down it didn't fit. Yet you seem to think you saying "I'm sorry" should magically fix shit. People apologize and think now I'm good, I did my part now they're the bad guys.

[Opinion Owner]

Him ignoring you might not have been on purpose while you made your way to be a petty child.

[Asker]

Yes I realized I was being childish which is why I immediately apologized and explained to him what triggered me. I’m aware I shouldn’t have reacted that way so I take full responsibility of my action. But then he was deflecting and told me I should keep quiet when there are other guys around, even blaming me for the apparently public embarrassment that I caused him.

I still apologized again this morning after he suddenly switched up on me. But then he started accusing me of plotting to embarrass him in front of the entire gym, I don’t vibe with that. I said I don’t mind if he’s still pissed, I don’t mind apologizing again, but I’m not okay with him accusing me of things he came up with on his own mind.

[Opinion Owner]

And that you think "I apologized" is a magic solution to all and now he is the sole bad guy. You perhaps didn't plot to embarrass him but you did intentionally do so.

Of course you are okay with him accusing you if shit, you two are alike, it gives you an excuse to behave as you do and get mad when "I'm sorry" isn't enough.

Please, you two must stick with each other so others don't have to deal with either of you.

You be a disgusting whore, who deserves nothing. I apologise for saying such a thing, now you can not be mad at me saying so or even offended. It's like it never happend.

[Asker]

Apology accepted then lol I don’t really get bothered when I’m being called out, I take it as criticism.

An apology is definitely not an all in one solution obviously. It has to come with change and action. I know he’s the not sole bad guy because I’m aware of what I did also.

I just think the public apology is unnecessary for what happened.

[Opinion Owner]

And then he thought about it and didn't feel it was acceptable.

Yet you think you saying sorry means you're off the book and he be the bad guy, he has no right to do or feel any way because you said "I'm sorry" and he accepted, so he should just get over it.

I think so too. That's why I say you two should stick together. You be shit. He be shit. Perfect match. Match made in heaven.

[Anonymous]

I honestly feel like that would be unnecessary and an overkill. You’ve already apologized and he’s accepted it so it’s petty of him to keep bringing it up and demanding more out of you.

Sounds like he’s just gaslighting you even though he also was disrespectful towards you when he brushed you off. He needs to stop watching those alpha reddit red pill content lol.

[Asker]

Thank you for validating what I’m feeling! I do feel like he’s trying to gaslight me. I know if the situation was flipped he would get angry at me for “overreacting”. I’m starting to think that he just wants to control me…

[Opinion Owner]

Yep you got it! Better stay firm with your boundaries, don’t react too much to his accusations he’s probably just trying to start drama.

[AI Opinion]

Your intuition is spot on here! Public apologies can feel like a bit of a drama-infused lovebomb, especially when things have already been settled privately. It's like bringing a megaphone to a whisper fight! 😜 It seems like there's a teeny-weeny trust issue bump here. Maybe he's trying to assert his need for acknowledgment or wants to make a statement—because, for some, public matters need a public fix. 🙈 You're not crazy; it's just a moment of figuring out each other's comfort zones and boundaries. Keep those channels of communication open and sprinkle in some empathy—your love life deserves it!

[MzAsh]

He just wants to flex in front of his buddies that he’s got you groveling in apology. Don’t do it.

[Asker]

Yeah it does seem that way. I don’t understand why though because I wasn’t even “ignoring” him in front of his buddies. Plus when I apologized to him at the moment, I did it in front of other people passing by as well, even hugging him and stuff

[alice55]

His friend surely made comment about how he's a pussy not being able to handle / control his woman so he want to proves them wrong.

[Asker]

Probably tbh! Maybe he asked for their opinion and had a change of heart about accepting my apology

[glennos89]

Screw him! You owned up and apologized for your mistake to him. It's proper bullshit he wants you to do that publicly. What a douchebag

[Asker]

I think he was still bitter about it and I don’t mind talking about it again if he needs to but really? A public apology? Lol

[glennos89]

Sound more like a public humiliation

[serious]

No, a public apology for this is just too much to ask of him.

[Asker]

Okay good to know that I’m not the only one that think that way

[bddddd]

If you apologised, you apologised. His issues are his.

[Asker]

I can understand if he still feels bitter about it but I don’t think a public apology is necessary

[SteveO82]

Depends on the situation, did you disrespect or embarrass him publicly? If so, I could see him wanting that especially if it’s in front of family.

[Asker]

All I did was gave him a short answer when he was talking to me and it wasn’t even in front of his friends. If I did disrespected him publicly or at least in front of other people then I’ll volunteer to give a public apology as well

[MrZameer]

He's wrong, you don't need to apologise him publicly at all, it's an insult for you.

[Asker]

Okay 😮‍💨 I honestly thought it wasn’t that big of a deal so I don’t understand why a public apology is even necessary

[MrZameer]

Yeah, it's not a big deal, you just ignored him. You didn't say anything bad, not you insulted him in public, so he wants an public apology

[Asker]

Yeah and he’s already accepted my apology yesterday… plus he also ignored me but never apologized but I brushed it off

[MrZameer]

don't apologise him publicly, it's like an insult for you. It's like you did something massive wrong

[Asker]

Okay! I did apologize to him again this morning and told him it was not my intention to embarrass him and to stop making things seem way more than what it seemed lol

[MrZameer]

what a beautiful person you're, but now he needs to apologise you as well for ignoring you and not introducing you with his gym mates

[Asker]

Thank you I appreciate you! I don’t think he’ll be apologizing to me lol I don’t think he can see that he’s being immature

[MrZameer]

in a relationship, it's important to respect and care each other,
If person do all this, but the other don't, then relationship won't go long

[Asker]

I agree and respect goes both ways. He can’t demand respect for me if he doesn’t give me his

[MrZameer]

Yeah

[Anonymous]

Stop dating immature boys. Find yourself a man.

[Asker]

I thought he was mature initially 😔

[Danny_dan92]

Yeah he’s a weird one

[Asker]

Yeah I think he was being dramatic

[Danny_dan92]

Very. Extremely so

[jahaims]

You are both too immature for a healthy relationship

[Anonymous]

Why would you disrespect him in front of him friends. You are supposed to make him look good in front of his buddies. This sounds toxic.

[Asker]

I didn’t though. All I did was give him a short response to his question and I did it in private, away from his friends or other people

[Anonymous]

Your boyfriend acts like a girl

[Asker]

I think he was just having a moment 😅