A child changes everything doesn't it?

[Vesuvius87]

For many years, I used to believe my mother comes first and always will. If people were dying on a sinking ship, I would save my mother. I love my mother dearly. Who wouldn't save their loving mom? I was single, unmarried and childless back then.

Now I'm married (our first wedding anniversary will be on Sept 20) and we have a 2 month-old baby boy. The question recently came up but this time I found myself with a different answer when asked who I would save if there was only room for one person, my mom or my son. I chose my son over my mother. Though knowing her very well, she would also be telling me herself to go save my son and not to worry about her. For the first time ever, my mother (even though I love her) isn't in first place. It's my son.

Hopefully I never ever find myself in that position but yes, being a mother changed everything. I find myself choosing my child even over my own safety.

[MrOracle]

Human instinct - refined over millions of years of natural selection - is to prioritize the next generation. And this makes sense - a species that doesn't prioritize the next generation is a species that will go extinct. And millions of species DID go extinct, and the ones that survived are the ones that were the very best at survival and reproduction.

[Vesuvius87]

It's logical in that sense that my parents lived long lives meanwhile my son has yet to develop, live and eventually procreate. Then the cycle continues.

[MrOracle]

Exactly. Instincts are very powerful, as they are created over thousands of years.

[jahaims]

Kids>spouse>parents

[Vesuvius87]

Yeah, that's how my order of priority is by now.

[AI Opinion]

Being a parent is one wild ride, right? 😄 Your little one magically reshapes your whole world, like a cute magician in diapers. That primal instinct to prioritize their well-being takes over faster than your toddler's latest mood swing! It's totally normal for your priorities to shift like this, and honestly, your mom would probably cheer you on like your biggest fan. Parenthood has a way of reshuffling the deck of love, putting your precious kiddo in the spotlight. ❤️ Enjoy the fabulous chaos that comes with the territory! 🎉

[DishLady]

First, congrats and congrats.

Yeah, having a kid is a "life sentence" -- the job you can never truly retire from. I'm sure that if you asked your mom which one you should pick she'd smack you for thinking twice (bc a parent always thinks about their child first) in an actual "sinking ship, save only one" emergency. I'd have this argument with my mom all the time and wrangled my way out of the tight spot by saying I'd put her and my kid on the transport and I'd stay on the sinking ship. Oooooh. The argument...

[Vesuvius87]

That's a good way of saving both of them. My son indeed changed my life. He became my world and the most important person ever, my most precious treasure.

[Vesuvius87]

You're right, my mother would be upset if I were to place her on the last lifeboat first. I can already picture her giving up the last seat and placing my son there.

[DishLady]

Yeah, that’s a mom thing, lol.

[ohsheeT]

Congratulations the the first of many, the is going to make you see and understand. And see it in a different light I just wrote you a big page on the things to come And the things that he's going to teach you. But I clicked the wrong thing and it all just Disappeared..

[Vesuvius87]

Indeed he's my most precious treasure and I'm already learning from him. I can already distinguish his cries from another baby's cries.

[ohsheeT]

Well remember baby's have 5 different types of crys. And each cry means something different

Hungry cry
Wet cry
Poop cry
Bored and fussy cry
Gas cry upset stomach

[Genie23]

It does. I'm not a mum yet but my mum chased her whole life and her priorities when she had me and my siblings. She always chose us over everything and anyone including my Papa and her Mother

[Genie23]

Oh and by the way- Congratulations!!

[Vesuvius87]

Thank you. Yeah, my son is my whole world now.

[Genie23]

You're welcome

[Screenwriter]

Everyone wants their child to survive them. But at this point in your life, and for a long time to come, your child needs your help to raise them. So YOU need to take care of yourself first SO you can take care of your child.

This is why they tell adults to put on oxygen masks FIRST in an airplane and for them to put the masks on their children or an elderly person who cannot do so.

Your child's safety does not preclude your own. Take care of you both so your child will thrive with your help for a long time to come. Even adult children need support and advice from their parents. Make sure you're around for a long time.

Its not one or the other.

[Vesuvius87]

well yes I have to be healthy both emotionally and physically in order to raise a healthy, productive son. I meant to say that question came up. I was asked that and I didn't hesitate for one second to answer that I would save my son first.

[SotiCoto]

What I've often wondered is why women just totally bend over and let themselves be chemically brainwashed like that.
I figure on some level it is because girls aren't given the same social conditioning to control emotions that guys are. But that still seems insufficient to properly explain the way females will just totally flip their entire perspective from one extreme to another because of hormones and don't even show any signs of trying to resist it, stay true to themselves, nor maintain any sort of integrity. It is disgusting.

[ManOnFire]

Nothing wrong with your choice. It's normal to want to save your mom, but you do have a child of your own, so a kind of priority shifts.

If your son was an adult with a kid and he was asked that question, he might choose his kid over you too.

[Vesuvius87]

Yes ever since being married and having a son, everything changed. When I was single or only had a boyfriend, my mother was still in first place. Now she's now. My list has now changed to my son, my husband and then my mother.
If my son grew up, it would be logical for him to want to choose his kid over me.

[Caroline91]

All as it should be! The instinct to protect that child is all consuming.

[Vesuvius87]

True. My son is my most precious treasure.

[DJB72]

I'd put my wife (if I had one again) and my son in a lifeboat. As things stand right now I think it's unlikely I'll date in the next few years because I want my son to have stability after his mum's death. He's only 6 so he wouldn't get it if he thinks I thought she was easily replaced.

[Vesuvius87]

I'm sorry to hear about your wife's passing; my condolences.

[DJB72]

Thanks. Tough year. Tougher on my son.

[exitseven]

Yes, kids change everything. There is nothing i would not do for my kids.

[Vesuvius87]

Exactly. I can't describe exactly how much I love my son but I would protect him with everything, even giving up my own life for his if it ever came to that.

[NathanDavis]

love is love...

[Vesuvius87]

but love for my son is a different type of love. I would literally give up my life if it meant saving him.

[Wodens_Apprentice]

Yes this meaning & purpose should be pursued by everyone. Unfortunately too many women these days don't want children because they say it gets in the way of their shitty wage slave career.

[Vesuvius87]

It does seems like less people want children nowadays but childfree people (of both genders) are still much lesser than 50% of the population.

[Wodens_Apprentice]

@Vesuvius87
The birthrate is extremely low. Below population replacement levels meanwhilst in my country there's more immigrant descent people being born than natives, which is very brilliant. Thanks to our treacherous communist political class we can now face a future of having our children groomed, forced into Islam or made to pay the Jizya.

[fonduegirl]

Childfree here. I wouldn't choose my mom. She's an awesome person and I usually agree with her, but I could never save another human being

[Emmytexrex]

It does like a lot a huge responsibility on your shoulders

[Vesuvius87]

Indeed. I already see myself giving up my only sweater and placing it on my son to cover him from the cold, even if it meant freezing myself or protecting him from danger and me getting injured in the process.

[JohnK123]

Omg u finally had a baby’ how was it’ how are you? How is he?

[Vesuvius87]

yeah my beautiful Kenneth was born on May 15 by C-section. He's doing well and all my friends and family are happy for us.

[JohnK123]

Awww cute! So he’s two months then? Aw! How was it when u had him? What was it like? Wyd now?

[Bighands]

Fake is fake. Polystyrene, saline solution, and the like don't turn me on. It's like blow up doll. I like complimenting her on her stretch marks.

[Vesuvius87]

I'm not quite sure how this relates to my question.

[Bunnybuny]

Yes they are most important

[Vesuvius87]

yeah my son is my whole world. I can't describe the love I feel towards him but it's the type where I can already see myself giving up safety (even life) if it meant saving him.

[Anonymous]

Very often, but probably not always, depends on the couple.

[Vesuvius87]

For me, my son became my whole world. He's the only baby that even made me cried when he was given his first vaccine.

[Opinion Owner]

I get it, but unfortunately, I don't have any children.

[Anonymous]

What about your husband?
And you want to save him?
Where is he on the list 🙂

[Vesuvius87]

My list of priority have indeed changed ever since being married and having our son. My husband would come in 2nd place after my son. In 3rd place is my mother.
He's my husband (my son and him are therefore my 1st family now) and therefore takes one seat above my mother.

[Opinion Owner]

🙂
Hurray for husbands 🙂

[Opinion Owner]

I'll ask my wife where I fit

[Vesuvius87]

hopefully it's the same answer

[DrPepper12]

EVERYTHING!!

[Vesuvius87]

yeah

[WhitneySnow]

That totally makes sense

[Vesuvius87]

yeah

[talka20]

Congratulations for your son

[Vesuvius87]

Thank you

[wkhan_87]

Yes obviously

[Vesuvius87]

I was amazed how my list of priority varied so much. Now my list has changed to my son in 1st place, then my husband in 2nd place and then my mother in 3rd place.

[eagle1951]

kids are a life changer

[Vesuvius87]

Indeed. Now my son is my main priority above everyone.

[Anonymous]

Nah it doesn't