Why are people offended by the word “situationship”? If you don’t like it, don’t settle for it?

Question

I kind of pissed my friend off this morning. I didn’t mean to, but she was in a 10 month situationship that she’s in denial about before the guy dumped her. She’s moving on and is seeing other guys, but she still gets annoyed when I call it a situationship. Today she actually said it to me that she hated the word. My response (because I’m blunt to fault): “You’re welcome. Too bad you don’t like it. That’s what is was. Maybe next time grow some balls and define the relationship”.

She’s too nice to men, very passive and she just leaves it up to the man to ask her to be his girlfriend (“if he really wants to take it to the next level and define the relationship, he will). She deserves better, but she doesn’t state what she wants. Most women are age are very direct with what we want. I started dating my husband when I was 39, I told him on our first date if we get serious and he doesn’t propose within a year, I’m done. I got the proposal exactly a year later, and married 6 months later, because he knew I wasn’t fuckin around. I love him, but I also don’t take his shit.

I’ve always found that the whole “treat him mean, keep him keen” statement had an element of truth in it. What are your thoughts?

D_Bone_Steak · Accepted Answer

She's just irritated that she's being called out. The connotation of what kind of woman she is being by getting into a "situationship" is probably what pisses her off.

So what is that connotation? What she's hearing when you say "situationship" is a push over woman that wants a committed relationship, but she allows the men to treat her like some easy pussy and then toss her aside when he's ready for some different pussy.

Sorry if that hurts her feelings, but isn't that the truth? It's her fault... she's letting the men decide what this is going to be on their own. He's probably looking at her and his other options at that point ans..."hmmmm, well, I'll keep fucking this but then bounce out when something better comes around" Shit, I would. The fact that she's not demanding commitment kinda tells me she's going to let me do that to her.

And thus, she finds guys and lets them do that to her which further ingrains her status as some pussy to be fucked until another wet hole with other options shows up or becomes available shows up. Basically an air BnB of pussy. She's the girl you just got to tell her, you agree to a relationship, you get the pussy, but nothing holds you to that quasi relationship.

Tell her to be happy she hasn't ran into a man that "needs" her, treats her the same way, and stays. Turns the situationship into a relationshit and just sticks with her for a place to stay while fucking other bitches while she's at work type of shit. I've done that. Sometimes a bitch just has a nice place, feeds me all the food, buys me things... but the only thing better than pussy is more pussy. I'll keep her around as a free ride in every which way you can think of and still fuck more pussy.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

"Situationship" is a relatively recently fabricated word that, in truth, means "I'm in a relationship that's so stupid that I'm embarrassed to explain it to anyone, so please don't ask." I respect people who speak clearly and without subterfuge, and who are candid about their shortcomings and foibles.

jazzy34 · Accepted Answer

Seems like your friend is desperate for a man, regardless if it's an actual relationship or a situationship. Anyway, she's an adult and will have to learn the hard way. And that whole "treat him mean, keep him keen" is not something I agree with. It gives bitch energy. Definitely not passive, but I'm not mean, either. I'm sweet and bold with the men I like. You can be straightforward with a man without being rude.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

How ignorant. It's offensive bc it shows morality openly being flushed down the toilet while marriage is treated like some bad joke.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Ah, the spicy world of situationships! 🌶️ I'm all about helping folks navigate the relationship maze, you know? Situationships can be a red flag if both aren't on the same page yet—some people find comfort in their ambiguity, while others crave definition. Your blunt approach is refreshing but, uh, maybe a tad too sharp for your friend. It's like relationship seasoning; too much spice, and you could end up with a hot mess! 🙃 Everyone deserves clarity, but not everyone can communicate their desires openly. Your friend might benefit from a gentle chat on setting boundaries and expressing needs. After all, love is about growing together and embracing each other's quirks. Keep being bold and fabulous! 💃✨

1

Finchie40 · Answer

Because it’s a stupid word , which stupid words are made up all the time in our society. So I guess instead of saying Friends’ with benefits , some people just use situationship instead. Overall most of the words people use today sound stupid as shit. It happens with every generation , there was a time my generations’ words sounded stupid as shit to the previous generations, just how society is. Most of the new music I hear today have words in the lyrics that I never heard of before and I sometimes will Google it and just shake my head lol

AviatorTom · Answer

Situationship  is a useless word.  Everything is a situation . Use a better, more descriptive label.

Zack-Bann · Answer

“You can’t always get what you want.
But if you try sometime, well you might find
Yo you get what you need”
In the words of Mick Jagger of course

I met a girl recently who convinced herself that the only way to be happy is to have a polyamorous relationship with multiple men because she can never get it all from just one

Except she’s living in a cage of her own making
By insisting on casual sex and open open relationship arrangements she’s ensuring that no guy will ever wear his heart on his sleeve and take a risk for her
They all understand that she’s not theirs it’s just their turn

So I agree with you that we need to create the situation we wanna be in by being assertive about it
But life has a way of pushing back even when we do that
The real test is not getting jaded by it and converting our losses into resentment towards the world or the opposite sex

OneViewpoint · Answer

You ain't wrong. Everyone, men and women, should have standards and boundaries for themselves and other people.

Your friend is effectively choosing to set het standards very low by refusing to voice her needs / wants. Do that and you get what you've asked for. Nothing.

It sounds like your friend is very risk averse. She doesn't want to have the conversation for fear the guy will simply walk away. Is him walking away when you set boundaries a bad thing? It tells you what you needed to know.

jshm2 · Answer

LOL, because they may be fucked up, but even they understand making up shitty words does not help anything.

It's like calling an abusive partner a "spicy lover" - you're going to draw ire from people who think you're trying to undermine what they are going though.

As for your situationship (lol) I would have punched you across the face and threw you down the stairs, before calling the cops claiming self defence. As your level of stupid and insincerity was just murderous to any braincells in the region.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

No one wants to feel like they’ve been played and like they were wasting their time on a fantasy. You’re generally right though… you have to have the guts to set and enforce your boundaries by defining relationships.

Where we disagree is the last part. My observation about treat em mean keep em keen has actually been the opposite of your’s. My experience has been that it’s just setting the relationship up for failure by making preventing intimacy from developing and making it easier to emotionally disconnect.

molonski2 · Answer

The definition is stupid , don't be so rude , your values / circumstances are yours not hers , she is a grown woman , you can never be " too nice to men " , cut her some slack and let her live her own life in peace , without your definitions and trying to put everything in a pigeonhole.

WhiteSteve · Answer

I’m only annoyed by it because it’s kind of a corny portmanteau. My offense is 100% linguistic, it’s just a goofy sounding term to me that gives me second-hand cringe, haha.

The concept of situationships themselves…. not my pig, not my farm🤷‍♂️

Sugar100 · Answer

Situationships are stupid it shudnt exist. It shud be he’s your boyfriend or not that’s it. Siuationships fwbs all that stupid shit needs no longer exist. It’s to point guys act like a boyfriend but it don’t mean u guys are dating or a couple and guys will see it as a friend hanging out using u. It’s so stupid and a nightmare

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Because it doesn't exist!! It sounds like a stupid word a 5 year old made up.
Did you ever see that Paris Hilton movie where a girl in a group of snobby girls decided to try to make the word, "Fetch" mean that something was really cool and all her snobby friends told her to stop saying it because it makes her sound really stupid? It's like that!

Anonymous · Answer

It has to be annoying because bluntness is a rigid form of communication often pairing with overconfidence. As in projecting whatever belief carried onto other people. When combined with uncalled for lecturing then this mode of communication becomes even more maddening for the people around.

Pohjolan · Answer

Situationship is just gals being unwilling to say that they are in a friends with benefits arrangement.

She never was in a relationship with the guy so he didn't exactly dump her, he just moved on.

Also stated Vs revealed preference. Maybe your friend prefers sex without commitment but just doesn't want to be seen as slutty?

On_cloud_wine · Answer

🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

spartan55 · Answer

All a 'situationship' is is a bougie term for friends with benefits. You can dress it up however you want, bottom line there is NO commitment.

avery58 · Answer

As someone who is guilty of having been in a situationship before, I agree. Don't settle for less than you deserve.

glennos89 · Answer

You got lucky then, if a woman would tell me she expects a proposal within a year time I would be gone

dragoblack · Answer

Because they don't want to take a moment to actually analyze their relationship or believe either of them are only together because of situational benefits, instead of romantic reasons.

sirderpsalot123 · Answer

I just don't understand the difference between a friends with benefits and a situationship

SotiCoto · Answer

You told your female friend to grow some balls? Are you suggesting she transition?

blackeagle007 · Answer

That word is meaningless. Try not to get involved with your friends problems. They don’t concern you

Anonymous · Answer

It's not a word and the only people who use it are 8 year old girls.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't think most people are offended by it, it's just a silly term used by young, immature people.

Malwi93 · Answer

situationship just means some side is reluctant to seal it

DCVsMarvel2 · Answer

Because it's oly in the 21st century, where we've made up words, to be lazy

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

Never heard the word until I became a G@Gger.

Jltakk · Answer

Honestly didn't even know this was a word till this year.

MasterKS · Answer

Situationship is the best way to live in today's era!

theionano3 · Answer

What does that mean?

Anonymous · Answer

What is a situationship?

Anonymous · Answer

I don't even know what that means.

Voyages6 · Answer

Maybe cause they need a physical need to be met.

Why are people offended by the word “situationship”? If you don’t like it, don’t settle for it?

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