Have you ever dated or been in a relationship with someone that has very high expectations?

[Finchie40]

They basically look at you to fulfill that for them , instead of working as a team and working towards it together , they will make comments like , so and so did this for their partner , implying they want you to do the same for them, or this person doesn’t have to work , and their partner takes care of them , again implying that you don’t measure up to their expectations, by constantly comparing you to others’ My ex started doing this to me near the end of our relationship, and that’s why she is my ex , I told her to go find her dream guy because I am going to find a girl that accepts me for who I am , No matter how much money I made , or no matter what I did, it was never good enough for her , She would overlook all the positives I did to find the negatives. She never took accountability for her selfish actions or behaviors, it was always my fault if something didn’t go the right way , never holding herself accountable for anything. Have you ever experienced a relationship like this? Did you walk away as well?

[Anonymous]

I’ve experienced being in a relationship with a guy who expected me to have sex with him at any given moment and drop everything to do so. He would always say “you don’t love me if you want do this for me”, like we’ve been together for 3 years and apparently if I don’t stop making dinner while it’s on the stove to have sex I don’t love you? Or he would expect my body to be his and would tell me that I had no ownership over my body. And when I’d tell him no all of a sudden he’d tell me that as his girlfriend I should go over to his apartment and clean his place up and wash his clothes….
no matter how many times I made dinner for him, washed his clothes, made sure the place was clean it would NEVER be enough because I wasn’t letting him have complete control over when we had sex and how much sex we had.

and yeah I ended up having to walk away because I started losing my mind towards the end, and the thought that I’d never be enough started to become frequent in my thought process.

but now a few years after that relationship when I tell a guy that I’m not willing to have sex every single time he wants it and he’s not entitled to my body when we are in a relationship it’s now apparently too high of a standard?

[Finchie40]

Your ex sounds like a douche bag by thinking he owned you so good thing you got away from that shit , As far as sex goes , most guys’ don’t want to be with a girl that doesn’t like sex as much as he does , so by you telling guys’s this , it’s going to make them not interested in you. A guy wants a girl that makes him feel wanted , that wants to be in his arms as much as possible , that wants to be intimate and affectionate with him , when a guy doesn’t receive that from a girl , he assumes she no longer values him and appreciates him , I’m not saying you have to have sex with him every day , but you should never completely reject your partner if you want love to continue to grow between you and your partner. Completely rejected your partner will add fire into your relationship because it’s a selfish decision , so if you aren’t on the mood for sex , please him in other ways to show you love and respect him. Always put yourself in your partners’ shoes before making decisions, think how you would feel if your partner completely rejected you every time you are in the mood? Think how that would make you feel. Relationships are all about giving and receiving to each other , not the other way around.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah I get the entire “men don’t want to be with a woman who don’t like sex”, never said I didn’t like it tho. i just said I won’t have it every single time he wants it, it makes me feel as if I have no choice at all when it comes to it. Either I say I don’t want to have sex right now and this dude is angry about it griping about how I don’t love him because I didn’t have sex with him (which is manipulative and guilt tripping) because all I said was no at the moment, and now that your saying I don’t love you cause I don’t want to have sex right now.
I’ve already been in those shoes before regarding being rejected and not having sex, you learn to get over it and continue you on. You can’t sit there and think your partner doesn’t love you because she does not want to have sex at the moment, just like I want don’t it if I’m really not in the mood for it.
But then again I was always taught by my father to hold out on sex when in a relationship to see what kind of man I’m actually with, if he starts claiming that I don’t love him because I said no at the time he wants it, then leave. The world should not end of if I say I don’t want sex at the moment, if I’m already cooking, doing the laundry and cleaning how is that not showing I love him? I respect him by doing those things also and not going out and sleeping with some other guy. It’s also not a selfish decision to say no, it’s a reasonable decision. What am I supposed to do? Sit there and take it while we have sex and I’m just not into it and bored because I said I wasn’t fulling up for it?
For example another one of my ex boyfriends I was with for 2 to 3 year? And if I said no one night (which is not very often) he would say that’s okay, because he’d rather I tell him straight up then endure it as it would start to feel like a job for me. We also weren’t having sex every single day.

[Opinion Owner]

Of course I’d show the guy I’m with affection, but affection isn’t my hand on his dick. I’ve noticed every time I tell a guy I won’t have sex with him every single time he wants it, they get angry. And say if you’re my girlfriend your body is for me to use… like girl no it’s not.
As of right now I’m choosing to not be in a relationship, as the batch of men in my area are just weirdo’s and porn addicts that talk about there dicks on the first date. But I could also say the same to guys put yourself into your partners shoes, some girls feel like your only with them for sex if that’s what you constantly ask for over and over again, especially if you tell them at some point that it makes you feel less valued or loved. Cause now that would make me stop cooking, cleaning, and doing the laundry as those were things I would only do for myself if you don’t think I don’t value you or love you. If I didn’t love/value you I would never lay a finger on your clothes or cook for you at all.

[Finchie40]

It sounds like you ended up with some selfish douchebags that only thought with their dicks , there is nothing wrong with a girl saying she isn’t in the mood , it only becomes a problem if she constantly says she isn’t in the mood or she doesn’t initiate intimacy and affection with him at all , then that can easily be a problem. A relationship needs to go both ways for any relationship to survive and for love to continue to grow. If it turns one sided , then that relationship is pretty much doomed and more than likely it will fail. Sadly a lot of relationships fail because of selfishness , which every one of us has selfishness inside. Of ourselves , so if you can’t remove selfishness for your partner, then don’t expect them to remove it for you as well. So by your boyfriend getting upset over you not being on the mood is selfish of him to act that way , but only if you were constantly not in the mood and constantly rejected him. but if not, then he is a POS that only wanted to be with you for sex and nothing more. So all I was saying earlier was to never completely reject your partner if you want your partner to feel loved by you and yes there are other things a partner can do besides sex to show appreciation and love to their partner but if the partner is just set on sex , then that’s all they really want from you and nothing else , so I don’t blame her for dumping his ass or leaving his ass if that’s all he expects from her. My one girlfriend use to tell me to masturbate when she wasn’t in the mood and tell me it turns her on to see me masturbate , I loved the fact that she didn’t completely reject me which a lot of females’ tend to do , When I am not in the mood for sex and my partner is , I will please her in other ways as well , just to let her know that I still love and value her

[Opinion Owner]

That’s what I meant by my last comment, it’s not that I don’t want to have sex with my partner. It’s when it’s so constant that there isn’t anything else, or nothing else that I do for him wether he asks me to or I just do out of love is enough if it isn’t sex. Once I feel like I’m only being used for sex that’s when the consistent no’s come, cause now it’s time for you to either show me that you actually love me or your here for the sex. But yeah I do completely agree with what you’re saying. As for me I work long shifts due to my career, very rarely do I say “hey I’m tired and just wanna shower and head to bed” or say “I’m just not up for it tonight”.

[Noredcarpet]

I know what you mean, but have not experienced it personally like that. You did right to break up with her. What I have experienced is being with someone who has high demands on himself and high demands from his successful parent or living in the parent's shadow. I would say the demands he had on himself he had less on me, but they were still high, in unneccsary ways. I know of girls who fit into your description of experience. I see it as a combination of immaturity, insecurity (big ego, opposite self worth deep down), competition between the girlfriends of what their partners are giving them. My irony is that I never cared for those things and felt like an outsider sometimes with group of friends that were like that, but my ex and current partner would give me gifts that caused envy. I have worked way ahead when these girlfriends of mine were not and way harder. They have had the same options I have had, but chose something else. Til this day I have not said anything about it but I can tell there is this pattern of them expecting me, us, to invite, to pay, they know how to use people and I think in secret these girlfriends are envious of me, us, and make it right in their heads somehow. They kerp the same attitude through life and through their relationships. Think they deserve all that and for others to give it because suddenly they are victims and envious. They are alright in other ways, but how they reason when it comes down to this I just don't know.

[Speaking_Frankly]

Yes, I once dated a woman who wanted to know I had no baggage if we were to have a third date and go further in the relationship. When I said that was the case as I kept an amicable friendship with an ex who had since married and have no legal or civil disputes with other exes, thr date was happy to hear that. The problem was that she then disclosed she has two children and a very fractious relationship with the fathers of her kids. There was no third date as I was absolutely not going to deal with any of that.

I appreciate and fully acknowledge that what men and women are attracted to in a significant other aren't symmetrical but that's quite some nerve for my date to set expectations I have no baggage when my she has a cargo hold full of it, herself expecting me to accommodate it.

[dwreborn]

I get what you mean the thing about having money yes you need to live and be comfortable but people with money have the same messed up problems with dating and marriage as anyone else and actually prob more problems me and my wife get by fine but we dont have extra money and we are going through some problems now and finally i think I've gotten through to her she was going through some type of crisis whoch i think you have read some of our problems but if you can take accountability and forgive your partner you can work it out but sometimes you can't it sounds like you had to do what you did and move on good luck with finding the right one she is out there somewhere

[Finchie40]

She was never satisfied with whatever we had , if money got tight , it was my fault when she is the one that had the compulsive spending habit , basically everything is on sale , how dare she get a job and contribute financially, a real man wouldn’t make his wife work , this is some of the nonsense I heard from her mouth , to
The point o told her to get the fuck out of my life. she is a user

[dwreborn]

Ya that sounded bad my wife always wanted to work it made her happier to know she could take care of herself and i get that and there were times in between jobs she didn't work for a month or more we worked through it together that why its so confusing what she's doing now but ya in your case i couldn't take that either its not like you were sitting on your ass if what you made for money didn't satisfiy her then she should work so she can use her own money problem solved but then to get bitched at about it ya iam out!

[Finchie40]

That’s the thing she didn’t want to work , she wanted to be catered to at all times and blow money like it was growing on trees , that’s when I put my foot down to her and told her she either gets a job for her spending habits , or get out of my life because you aren’t a partner , you are a user , she eventually started working but acted like it was the worst thing ever , and blamed me for her having to work , I would just tell her to blame herself for being dumb when it comes to money. I pray no other guy falls for her shit period

[AI Opinion]

Diving into my little bag of relationship stories here, 🎒I've met folks who tick similar boxes to your ex. Some people expect their partner to be a personal genie 🔮, without realizing relationships need teamwork and magic from both sides! Your ex sounds like a season finale with too much drama, so kudos to you for saying, "Adios to the unrealistic movie script, hello to my own happy ending!" 😉 Real love’s about partnership, not performance. You did the right thing by walking away because you deserve someone who appreciates every sparkle you bring. 🌟

[AviatorTom]

That's most of the women I've known. 😐

[Vevv123]

I haven’t, but I’ve seen people in these kind of relationships and there’s some people that even say these things out loud and it’s so hurtful to their partner because it’s the best way to bring someone down when instead of receiving praise or being uplifted they are being told they might not be enough or aren’t enough. I think the damage can be detrimental for someone’s self esteem and in the relationship in general.

[Finchie40]

Yea it’s pathetic to witness and experience it , People that think they were put in earth to be catered to at all times , that do not know how to give the same way they want to receive , they just want to receive without giving , by having that selfish mindset will get them nowhere in life , it will be just a matter of time before nobody will want them period

[Zhangyuxin]

Idealization: Idealizing the other person, believing them to be perfect or possessing desired qualities.
Unrealistic Expectations: Having unrealistic expectations of the other person's behavior, personality, abilities, and so on.
Pressure: Placing pressure on the other person, making them feel the need to constantly meet one's expectations.
Disappointment: Feeling disappointed and frustrated when the other person fails to meet one's expectations.

[robocop666]

My friend is a woman. She only goes out with men who 1. provide transport. Or even pay for a taxi home.2 pay for the date. she never ever ever spilts the bill even when living with a man. and 3 buys her presents occasionally. She also has friends like this too.

[sportsman_MD]

Yes, I even prefer that she has high expectations. It shows that she knows what she wants and respects herself enough to aim for it. If a woman doesn’t have high expectations, she’s probably not worth pursuing:

[DrPepper12]

Yes I was in a relationship with someone exactly like this. I called her mother-in-law.

[Anonymous]

I kicked that pedestal out from underneath him, packed my shit, and left. Now he regrets it. Good luck to him finding someone who will gargle his shit like I did.

[Finchie40]

I don’t even know the guy , but he is one the biggest idiots I ever heard of , a girl that swallows or gargles is a keeper lol

[LiamJHayden]

Gone on dates with, yes. A committed relationship? No.

[i_Jedi]

Yeah, and it can feel exhausting if it’s one-sided. I saw Jared Laurence talk about this on IG, and he says high standards are fine, but they should go both ways or the relationship becomes unbalanced.

[Nikki1989]

No, I have been lucky with all of that.

[Liyue]

They may think you have great potential, so they have high expectations of you. This can make people feel recognized and valued to a certain extent.

[IJeremy]

No but I think expectations should be realistically high because if not there is no investment, no desire to evolve

[Anonymous]

Nope, I never had a date, and one of the possible reasons is - very high expectations.

[adenniz]

If he is enough for me I would like it

[Jessica850808]

是的，我有过。那种关系很累，因为你总是试图成为他希望你成为的样子，而不是做你自己。

[Finchie40]

Females’ can do the same thing to men