How do I speak to my husband about feeling lonely and disconnected in our relationship?

[Anonymous]

Me and my husband and have been married for a year and i really do love him and I believe he loves me. He does everything right.

Ever since covid he changed and seemed less crazy about me. I just assumed the honeymoon phase was over. He used to like a wild animal in bedroom but then he got sick and asking for sex is like asking him to take the bins out in the rain.

He never tells me i look nice or kisses me. Im the one who has to do all the sweet talking and he doesn't seem to see how degrading that feels for a woman especially when 90% off the time he rejects me because he's the man with thousands reasons why not. "Im tired", "im stress", "I dont feel well", "im busy", "i want dinner" the list goes on.

I've never felt so unattractive in my life and I've really given up and started putting weight on because if I can't have sex I might as well eat chocolate instead.

I tell him how I feel and he thinks im looking for a fight and calling him a bad husband. He does everything right when it comes to being a husband but he seems to not give two shits and being a lover to me.

I feel like a desperate cheap slut everytime I throw myself at him. I make so much effort and have tried everything to make him be the why he used to be with me.

I feel like there's no point talking about it but if I don't he's gonna eventually lose me or im just gonna became really bitter and resentful towards him.

How many other 27 year old woman can say there already in a sexless marriage after one year of being married.

We recently went on hoilday for 2 weeks and we had an amazing but we only had sex twice and the 3rd time neither of us finished because whenever try to switch things up he goes flat.

I cry sometimes because I feel so rejected and I don't want to make him feel bad but if im honest I feel like if he genuinely cared about my feelings hed put as much effort in as I do.

He doesn't even try. He'll want to be on top and look like hed rather be anywhere but with me.

Updates

7 mo

Were trying (barely) for a baby. I feel like i might just want a child because I feel so unloved by my husband. To the outside we seem like the prefect couple and I think he thinks he's doing everything right to but I honestly think it doesn't even cross his mind how I feel when he constantly rejects me. I can't get pregnant from the sex toys I bought to spice up things and ended up using on myself

[Finchie40]

Unfortunately your marriage is doomed, if this is what’s happening after a year of marriage , your husband is a selfish POS person that only cares about himself , he doesn’t consider your wants and feelings , only his own , My marriage turned to shit after 20 years and what your husband is doing to you, is what my wife started doing to me , our marriage turned one sided , her way or no way , and that’s when I threw in the towel and said fuck this shit , I felt like I was talking to a wall because she wouldn’t hear me or listen to me , so I told her I wanted a divorce. So we separated and then I eventually met a girl that treated me like gold
That rocked my world in bed

[Finchie40]

Do yourself a favor and start focusing on yourself , and no longer waste your time and energy on him , he clearly doesn’t want to hear you or listen to you anymore, so you are best to pretend you are single , and do things that make you happy without him , start exercising , find yourself a hobby and start doing that as well, hang out with friends’ more , when your husband realizes that he is no longer your priority , he has a choice on whether he wants to fix this marriage or not , Do not give into him whatsoever, if he wants sex with you , reject him how he rejects you , do not give him sex , I know it’s hard, but it’s only going to help you in the long run , by giving him a taste of his own medicine , and for him to realize his selfish actions and behaviors need to stop if he wants a happy marriage with you , so let him assume you are up to no good , whether You want to be or not that’s up to you , because what he is doing to you is already no good whatsoever, when I started doing this to my wife , after I told her I want a divorce , she panicked and tried throwing herself at me wanting me to fuck her and be back with her , I said Nope , you had your chance and you blew it , I said I am not your fucking connivence, I want to find a girl that makes me her priority the same way I make her mine , so get out of my face , she eventually moved in with her brother cuz I told her I need space When she realized I wasn’t playing into her games that’s when she really panicked and started begging for me back , I kept telling her no and then I told her I met someone else that treats me like gold , so I am going to date her and see how it goes , I said we can file the divorce papers as soon as possible and she kept saying no , she doesn’t want a divorce , I said so you don’t care that I am dating this other girl? She said no because she admitted she fucked up , I said whatever , so I dated this other girl for 6 months and unfortunately it ended because she lied to me about

[Finchie40]

Being married , so that was the end of that , but she opened my eyes and made me realize I deserve way better than my how my wife was treating me , my wife found out I was single again and she come running for me back , i eventually gave her another chance , but that was a stupid decision on my part , because everything went back to the way it was , so now I am single again and looking for a better relationship with a girl that wants me like I want her

[Plugs]

How many wives do u have lol

[Finchie40]

Just one

[MrChinaski]

You sound like a good person that honestly loves your husband and wants things to be better.

All that you can control is yourself. Invest in yourself. Do the things that centre you and make you feel special and powerful. Yoga, sports, arts, travel, friends, whatever. It will be easier for you to make the right choices.

I had a 25 year relationship that had some parallels. Limited passion that diminished steadily every year. Everything that caused us to separate eventually was present early on and just worsened, for both of us. We did always have good communication, though. If you asked me whether I should have ended it after a couple of years, I honestly don't know.

Be kind to yourself, give up on changing him, and you will make the right choice for you. Having a baby is likely to mean making the right choice is harder for you, not easier.

Just my two cents

[AI Opinion]

Wow, love, this situation sounds truly challenging, and I can understand why you're feeling down. Seems like your man's been ghosting your emotional needs while handling the husband role well. Time for a little' heart-to-heart! Express how you feel without pointing fingers – more like sharing your emotions than blaming. Maybe a little lovebombing, focusing on the positives first, can set the stage without making him feel attacked. Remember, this isn't about his failures but your need for connection. 🌟 Open that convo with love, and who knows, you might reignite some sparks!

[Asker]

He won't listen

[mysteriousNicholas]

"honey, get your ass to that kitchen table, right now" lol.

Strong woman ♀️ 👠

A parody of a line from Click 2006 lol film 🎥

[bowenw]

He's lost interest for whatever reason. If he's not interested in doing whatever it takes to fix it, I suggest you consider moving on. The last thing that will help is a baby.

[Anonymous]

Can i tell you how much i envy him to have a wife throw herself at him. I wish i had that but i don't all i get is shitted on yelled at cursed at have death threats made at me false slanderous shit made up against me list goes on it gets so bad people ask if she's bipolar or multipolar & for her to calm down it's a complete living hell

[slatyb]

You need to talk to him about it, or suggest marriage counseling. If it doesn't change I'm afraid the marriage is over.

[Anonymous]

The key is in good communication.

[Asker]

How do have good communication with a man who thinks im starting a fight with him everytime I open up about my feelings

[Opinion Owner]

I guess it won't be easy, I know how you feel.

[MasterKS]

Just be open.