On a scale of 1 to 10, how important is it that your partner works out?

[HawkPerception]

[SoccerPlayer99]

I am assuming you mean they participate in fitness? Not that the relationship works out? Again, I'm tired. Lol. For me, it's very important my partner chooses to take good care of themselves. My current one does not. She out right refuses because I am the one asking her to exercise. We are now on the opposite ends of things in many ways. I've lost weight and she has gained which has only added to the divide between us. I'm sober and she drinks more than ever before. My point is that being on the same wavelength as your partner and setting the tone for the relationship early is super important. Don't let any of these silly girls on here tell you, you're shallow for desiring a fit partner. That's cope on their part and very sad.

[HawkPerception]

Lol come on man. Don't be a word Nazi 😂 The image should make it pretty clear and I don't think anyone would ask a question like "How important is it that a relationship works out?"

And, agreed entirely. I've been saying that since like 16 years old, so you're preaching to the choir.

I actually made a couple MyTakes on them.

Feel free to check them out.

Fitness compatibility is a real thing! ↗

What Men Desire In a Woman ↗

[SoccerPlayer99]

Just teasing ya. I'll checkout your writing. Since you've obviously written about this a. few times, what do you believe is the best way to motivate your partner?

[HawkPerception]

Honestly, sometimes there's no way to motivate them. It doesn't matter how you articulate your belief to them, even if you know you're right. Cognitive dissonance prevents them from changing their perspective, especially when they have girlfriends in their circle, who encourage them with the body positivity movement. "He should love you for you!"

All you can do is try to communicate your reasoning as best as you can and hope they see the logic in it.

I try to communicate it like this...

Being healthy and active is an attractive trait in any person. And it's usually part of the reason people are attracted to you in the first place. It shows you have a commitment to your health, longevity, and physical capability. I want someone who is able to experience the same kind of active lifestyle I have. I want to go on hikes, swim, try surfing, try rock climbing, play beach volleyball when we hit the beach, go kayaking, and challenge each other physically together. I don't want someone who doesn't want to live that way.

And when you don't work out and care for your appearance, it's also kind of saying to your partner "I don't care what you think of my appearance." Which is pretty much a slap in the face.

All men (who are healthy and active) want to see is that their partner is putting in genuine effort into their fitness and appearance. Yes, everyone ages and bodies naturally change over time. It's not like we're saying we'll fall out of love because of that. It's when they stop caring or putting in effort to look attractive for their partner which turns us off a ton.

Oh, and obesity isn't attractive in the bedroom.

If they take offense to that honest take, that's a "them" issue.

[SoccerPlayer99]

I've said similar things but also hurtful things when I used to drink and we would fight. I've owned those things and tried to repair the relationship. But at this point my word carries very little weight and my physical attraction has severely waned. I rarely pursue physicality at this point, in fact it's usually the opposite. She pursues it. Doesn't mean I don't love her but I've explained how her lack of desire to even attempt to get fit does nothing for me. She apparently doesn't care. Now that I am sober, I've tried to rebuild the trust and love while maintaining my need for physical attraction but it doesn't seem to be helping.

[HawkPerception]

Sounds like a relationship you know is already dead. If I was in your situation, I'd leave. It would be apparent my partner clearly doesn't give a crap about what I want in the relationship. And what does that say about the rest of my life if I choose to live with them? Not much to look forward to.

[SoccerPlayer99]

20 years is a long time. It's daunting to think about finding someone else after all this time. We also have kids.

[HawkPerception]

And I respect the honesty in that you've said hurtful things when you drank and fought. But as you've said, you owned them, and if you both can't move past that stuff, I think that relationship isn't for either of you. Best to move on to something where you have a fresh slate.

[HawkPerception]

Well kids will understand. Kids just want their parents to be happy and to put time and effort into being with them (helping to raise them, understand them, and just be there for them).

I say that as a guy who was raised by a single mom since about 11 years old. I don't hate either of my parents, but my dad stopped putting in any effort to see me and my younger brother after a while and now he's pretty much completely out of the picture.

[whiskeyontherocks]

Being with very lazy girls in the past got to put that up at 10.
She doesn’t have to be a top athlete but does have to pursue some active lifestyle.
Had a girlfriend that wouldn’t even go for walks with me.

[Apple1996]

As long as he can lift me then its all good. Working out or not doesn't really make a difference because some people are active enough in everyday life so working out isn't needed

[MicahRaine]

Probably about a 7. Being generally active and fit is a 10, but actually going to the gym and working out isn't always necessary. Still, it's good to do sometimes, especially if you don't like the winter months.

[Twodogs0525]

Probably a 7. Keeping in shape is important. Not for your physical appearance and physical health but it is also good for your mental health.

[exitseven]

I think msybe 8. I have a very ctiv life style and workout s lot. I would like somebody who likes to stay in shape.

[Purpleronnie]

Well what does that actually mean without qualification or quantification? 😂


As long as she looks after her body getting regular exercise as much as is practicable and reasonable then that’s good enough for me

[PeachyPie93]

Not important at all since men usually work active jobs.. Plus who am I to judge my partner anyways as long as I am initially attracted the rest doesn't matter.

[Sebastian100]

Doesn't have to work out everyday but being healthy matters to me

[Crimsyjo]

0.

It's not important to me at all. If he wants to then fine.

[Xawyx-2]

It's her choice, but I prefer girls who do work out.

[Nyctoveilexe]

8 it is essential for me

[Raydergman26]

3 0r8

[HawkPerception]

3 or 8? That's a pretty big gap

[Raydergman26]

Yes it is

[HawkPerception]

Ya gotta choose a single number though lol

[Raydergman26]

8 do do the workout

[MaTa93]

2, its not very important for me