Is it healthier to ghost or to directly cut the chord (or even burn a bridge)?

Question

I've always felt that "ghosting" leaves people feeling unsettled and in "limbo". I much prefer to be direct and tell someone "this isn't working" or "let's not continue" (or a variation of that).

But someone told me the other day that there's no need to burn a bridge because you never know when you might need them again. (But why would I want or need to be around someone who has been nasty and toxic towards me? Doesn't make sense to me.)

Would you rather ghost or cut out?

Noredcarpet · Accepted Answer

Statistic shows that both the ones who ghost and those who get ghosted feel worse than just be honest about it and cutting things off for both parties so with that I have to go with the later, plus I have to say the one who gave you such a lousy advice is most likely a people player, manipulative and selfish. I am too honest maybe with people but am not reckless and to me it is a form of respect I wish to give someone else about anything, may it be my fault, or theirs or both. You can't really help who you are at the present, only your future self. Getting off topic, but I hope you get me. I actually got annoyed when an ex claimed to others I had ghosted him when I went no contact after everything was settled and we were free of each other. That on the other hand is not the real meaning of the word.

Genie23 · Accepted Answer

If I’m dating someone, and it’s not going to work out because we’re poles apart or have different goals, I gently let them know. But if someone’s actions, behaviour, or words make me uncomfortable, scared, or threatened, or if I feel they’re being manipulative, I ghost them to avoid being questioned.

Summeroflove · Accepted Answer

Ghosting is cowardly…. I don’t care what people say. If it makes them mad.. there is a reason they are triggered.

In cases where you’ve been direct with someone to leave you alone and they won’t. Then yes… ghost. Block. Whatever.

If someone wants to initiate something in the future. It’s as simple as reaching back out…. Yes, someone could have moved on. But people move on as well and possibly completely loose respect they had if you ghost. I would respect someone more who ended things but reached back out then someone who ghosted.

HawkPerception · Accepted Answer

Being direct is always better. After you let them know why it is you're cutting them out and why, you've done your job and it shows you're mature and empathetic. How they react to that is their own issue, but you aren't obligated to respond to anything after.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I have been ghosted once and it felt very unsettling, because I had done nothing objectionable, and was not aware of any conflict between us. I would not do that to someone else if I could safely have a breakup talk.

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

Ghosting is disingenuous. It's like lying or gossiping. You don't do it because it's something only a loser would do. I'm not talking about you stop replying and they do to after a date or something. I'm talking about straight up ignoring someone.

It shows you think you're better than the other person. You're willing to make someone else go through all that termoil because you're too selfish to say "hey you weren't right for me, I'm looking for xyz and you came off a different way, good luck"

But those people are blessings in disguise because what you never think about when you get ghosted is that girl or that guy is going to meet someone who just happened to say or do whatever the other person needed in that exact moment to open up and the relationship will be a disaster.

Because the biggest thing ghosting tells you about someone is they're probably low intelligence.

Ironco · Answer

To ghost someone, it gives that other person time realize what they had and want.

Just because someone disappears doesn't mean they don't care... it's just a timing mechanism.

You can cut the cord all you want, feel like you've accomplished something, but in the long run you'll see what the other person is or was made of...

Now if they are or were toxic then the writing is on the wall. Just move forward...

I never "burn a bridge" unless it is my only out, even then I'll try to offer a boat to cross the river so to speak...

Bitter_Sweet94 · Answer

Direct is usually healthier.  Ghosting leaves loose ends, and burning a bridge creates damage you don’t need.  A simple, honest cutoff is enough.  Clean, calm, and respectful.

MicahRaine · Answer

It depends. For a long-time friend who's crossed the line one too many times, I just ghost. If it's someone who doesn't know better, I'll cut the cord directly.

exitseven · Answer

I never ghosted anyone. I always tried to be honest.

Anonymous · Answer

It's not healthy to ghost, because someone might call GhostBusters :P

MannMitAntworten · Answer

You have enough time to at least send a text informing them they are a distraction. :-p

WhitneySnow · Answer

I hate ghosting. And the people you do it too will hate it even more than cutting the cord, so they’re unlikely to be happy to hear from you again.

spartan55 · Answer

I try to always give people the respect they deserve when parting ways.

JustinTheGreat · Answer

Depends on the context. There are some situations where ghosting is acceptable

shortster · Answer

I think that it is more polite to end things rather than ghost.

Iron_Man · Answer

I don’t ghost or cut people off

Is it healthier to ghost or to directly cut the chord (or even burn a bridge)?

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Is it healthier to ghost or to directly cut the chord (or even burn a bridge)?

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