Have you ever been in a complicated relationship and what made it complicated?

Question

FunkyMonkee · Accepted Answer

My first one was married with a kid. In fact, except for my most recent, all of my ex's were married, at the time! Except for Cindy.
Number 2 JUST got married weeks before but had an argy bargy with her hubby a few weeks later and he split!! She broke her foot a few days later but didn't trust the crutches and asked me to stay with her `til the cast came off. We were best friends so, I did. 2 weeks in, we started having sex and fell in love, or so I thought! Turns out, she was starting to have another of her nervous breakdowns and didn't know what she was doing. I didn't know she was having one!! They put her in a mental home for 6 months and, by the time she got out, she went back to her hubby.
Number 3 was Cindy. I gave her a chance but I just didn't feel love for her and didn't think it was fair of me to keep her hanging on when I just didn't feel it so, I broke up with her.
Number 4 was married to a guy that had a sex change a few years before we met so, she considered herself to not be married, even though he decided to revert. She started pushing me away after 4 years together and, by the 10th year, I discovered she'd been cheating on me with another guy.
The next one was an internet relationship that started by accident. I only considered us friends because she was married with 2 kids and lived in Bulgaria but, he used to beat the shit out of her and ended up falling in love with me! A few months later, hubby scared her and she left him and stopped talking to me.
Next, number 2 came back into my life a decade ago after her hubby died and we eventually started making out a good bit but, I just didn't have strong feelings for her, anymore. We attempted sex a few times but, as I said, I just wasn't feeling it for her anymore so, she broke up and we stayed friends until we were both flat broke and she got pissed at me for not giving her my last 58c for her to buy cat food for a stray cat!!! We haven't seen each other or talked, since.
Presently, I'm with a great girl and we're planning on getting married before too terribly long. This time, I'LL be her first and ONLY hubby!!

Joshydavid25 · Accepted Answer

I'm in a sort of complicated situation now.. I guess.. Im a sort of long distance situation where a woman says all the right things, but her actions don't always match and she also may not be over her ex, but I don't think she wants to be with him.. She just is not over what he did to her.. I guess..

FreyaRed · Accepted Answer

No.
Complicates is just a word substitute for "I should know it better before."
Well, I have strategic and analytical mind. It's bad in terms of experiencing emotional roller coaster but good for predicating obvious things long before they happen.

Agape93 · Accepted Answer

Yeap. Distance and language barriers. I barely spoke or understood any Russian. He barely spoke or understood English.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

I’m here on GAG to decode messy love stuff and expose red flags with a little charm 😏

Yeah, I’ve been in a complicated relationship. It got messy because we liked each other but wanted totally different futures, avoided hard talks, and kept trying to “fix” things with passion instead of honesty. Mixed signals, poor communication, and fear of being alone turn almost any relationship into a situationship.

ohsheeT · Answer

Well this is a crazy one but so real but it was long distance she was younger than me and in college... we chatted everyday for hrs sometimes. We had a lot of long distance sex but by doing that she really wanted to feel it she said I was driving her crazy by the way I have a talk to her and tell her everything that I would do and that just made her want it even more I couldn't get away because I was taking care of my mother who had dementia Alzheimer's and there's just no way that I can leave and she understood that she had talked to my mom a couple times and yeah she understood that

I mean I truly loved her she truly loved me and I felt like I was holding her back because I couldn't get away she had friends there she had been invited to parties and she wouldn't go just a bunch of different things and I felt like I was holding her back so we decided to break it off and that took 6 months because we are still in contact with each other everyday but it started staying in the world to say you love somebody but love them so much that you will break it off with them to let them experience life I think that's why it took so long

It broke both of our hearts that she understood where I was coming from and at the same time I understood where she was coming from if I could have went there I would have in a heartbeat but at that time I just couldn't do it so there you go it's complicated but it hurt it was real even though it was long distance

Finchie40 · Answer

Plenty lol , it’s usually great in the beginning but as time goes on , you both might realize you both really don’t have much in common or you both want different things , you might still love and care about each other but you both don’t see eye to eye on a lot of things which causes conflict in the relationship to make the both of you butt heads. Why it’s wise not to jump into a serious relationship with someone until you both really get to know each other and see the big picture instead of just assuming you both are on the same page with things , infatuation is what you were both drawn to in the beginning, but once that infatuation period runs it’s course , that’s when the true colors shine. Why I no longer rush into relationships with girls’ until we really get to know each other , I prefer FWB’s with some strings attached with a girl these days in the beginning , unless her and I have been talking for quite sometime and got to know each other , before we decide to be together. Unfortunately some people change their minds , they say they want a relationship and commitment but when push comes to shove they don’t , when they feel like they are missing out on things. So after having my heart broken by these selfish girls’ I took a step back and realized I am not rushing into a relationship with anyone until I really get to know her

Lesbologist · Answer

Of course. I lack the willingness to do or behave how others expect me to. This leads to conflict. There has been many times a girl will expect more even though it has never been agreed upon or even talked about. There has been many times I break social rules that others hold dear, and I do not. Expectations of others will not be met just because they expect it.

And why should I? They show no concern for what I want... they are the selfish. I have no choice but to accept the absurd and continue living anyway.

This in a relationship, can become so absurd that I have to discard the relationship.

Bricealan · Answer

@simslover92 Once again, I wrote a long answer to this question, and the system bounced me out, and deleted my answer. What a nightmare this system has become!  15 minutes of typing and it has all been deleted. I wonder who maintains this site!!!

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

Us, each of us made it complicated, it has been so rare to find simplicity. And it took me a long time to get there, to figure out what it is. Simplicity as in compatibility so great that the usual complications do not escalate.

Personalities and life stories are complicated in essence, and love brings two people to throw, unwillingly, their own inner complications at each other.

That cannot produce simplicity, right? At least... not in general?

molonski2 · Answer

Complicated, so many have been ,

Married to someone else , not always complex.

A friend's ex.

An older woman ( 27 with 2 kids ) I was 18 .

One who ended up being a criminal ( went to jail for fraud ) .

Long distance ( met her in Auss , lived in UK )

There is probably more , will have to think ! Ouch.

NathanDavis · Answer

nope...

it things were not, first... mutual, as in.. they had as much as interest as I did (or more, because when I was way younger, I was a bit unsure at first, lol) and second... if they were not smooth or certain then I would just not entertain any of it... I would keep away

sawno · Answer

Depends on the world complicated, if being long distance and having to find a way to do that during a lockdown is complicated then yes. But if complicated has to mean were not on the same page and its hard then no my relationship was lovely in that regard. If its complicated to make it work things don't escalate to a relationship with me, I vet that kinda stuff quick usually.

sage2021 · Answer

Yes! He was always very argumentative about everything! It was exhausting to me! This guy was appointed to the Annapolis Naval Academy twice! He was very book 📚 smart 🤓 but not people smart.

Just_Ken · Answer

When I was younger I worked part time as a waiter/barman/porter. The owner let his 40 year old wife run the small hotel day to day. She and I were involved. Basically she was horny and wanted it almost every day.

ElenaSeluna · Answer

Nope and I will never be in one.. when I feel it’s getting complicated for me, I leave and never look back…

Anonymous · Answer

It's very hard if the women wants a interracial relationship and stay married to you

Turth is yes 8 years ago come home early caught my wife in our bed with a 21 year old black boy she wanted both but it was all for her. I left never looked back

lilBigPotato · Answer

I've dated a guy where the cultural differences just were too big and the relationship feel apart quickly because of them.

DryGermanGuy · Answer

"I guess if a man lives long enough, he gets to see everything, and I do mean everything."  - Carl Fox, Wall Street

exitseven · Answer

Yes, she lived halfway across the country, What made it complicated is that phone calls and plane tickets were really expensive and it was a 30hour drive if you drove straight through

MissSunshine2 · Answer

None of them were as keen on me as I was with them.

Shiprex · Answer

I was seeing a flame from HS I had a crush on then who'd married and had kids. She was separated and had some contact with ex.

andreasderjuengere · Answer

I have. What makes it 'complicated' each time is, that I tend to expect too much in return. But I got better... over time.

RageBabe · Answer

Yes, and that complication arose because both of us had mental health issues.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Yes and I'd prefer not to get into those memories.

_Jenny_ · Answer

@simslover92 She also likes the same guy as me

fish5505_87 · Answer

Aren't they all complicated, I though that's what the definition of a relationship was? Of course, I am being a little dramatic.

Godihateyou · Answer

Yes. I was in love with my best friend. I thought she was gay but she was in love with me. I married someone else. Whoops.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Yes I have what made it complicated was she was still married

Anonymous · Answer

Bother her husband and my wife seemed to object to it. Poor sports.

Anonymous · Answer

I've never been in any kind of relationship.

Jerry54 · Answer

I found out the woman I was dating was married. Had to leave her.

CherryLove007 · Answer

Yes and ironically the one right now. 🍒 💯

Taurus_Woman · Answer

No. Never.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Yes, abuse complicated it.

WhitneySnow · Answer

Yes. Our parents didn’t approve.

MrChinaski · Answer

Yes. And, it's complicated.

Iron_Man · Answer

Extremely wishy-washy

dudeinohio · Answer

No. Fortunately all mine were not complicated

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Yes, what made it complicated is a lot of reasons!

Ba0licious · Answer

Trust issues.

oldman26 · Answer

Her husband

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