Am I expecting too much emotional support from my stressed long-distance boyfriend?

[RavenWing057]

Is it too much to ask for someone to be consistent with communication during long distance when the other person is going through heavy stress?

My boyfriend and I have been doing long distance for about 7 months, but have been dating for 2 years. He moved from Canada to the Caribbean to find work after being terminated. He was amazing when he was here with me, but now it’s getting to the point where his stress is constant.

He’s always sick, tired, stressed, worried about losing his position at work, has crippling debt that stresses him. To the point he doesn’t call me for days now.

I opened up to him the other night that I’ve been hiding about working for the past month because I’ve been going through something. And I felt extremely lonely and depressed the past month. He seems too distracted by his own life to comfort me it seems. Just continues to talk about himself.

After that call, it feels like he’s not capable of thinking about me in that way anymore. My needs are not being met.
It’s been 2 days since that call and haven’t heard a peep from him.

Am I expecting too much for someone who is under so much stress?

[HelpfulWoman_]

No, you are expecting him to possess a nervous system instead of just a testosterone-soaked void. Stop tolerating his emotional silence as "calm" when it is actually the sound of his soul rotting while you bleed out support for nothing.

[bowenw]

Long distance relationships take a very strong commitment and a lot of communication to compensate for the missing physical component and seeing body language. Your expectations are not too much. It is sounding like he has lost interest and maybe found a girlfriend in the Caribbean.

[bowenw]

Thank you for the MHO. 😊

[Staximus]

I’m pretty sure there’s more jobs in Canada than there is in the Caribbean unless your job is drilling oil wells in the ocean floor. If your boyfriend is not a Canadian citizen then he’s probably not coming back and is bullshitting you

[Nikki1989]

In long‑distance relationships, emotional support becomes the primary form of intimacy. When that weakens, the whole relationship feels shaky — so your sensitivity to it isn’t "needy"; it’s logical.

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you untangle messy feelings and spot red flags before they wreck your heart 😏

You’re not expecting too much at all. Long-distance absolutely requires basic consistency and mutual emotional support. Stress explains his behavior, but it doesn’t excuse completely neglecting your needs or disappearing after you opened up. That’s emotional unavailability, not love.

You’re allowed to want a partner, not a pen pal who only trauma-dumps and ghost-lurks.