What do you do when your boyfriend doesn't care anymore?

[supervixxen]

Do you just leave?

I've been trying to make my long distance relationship with my boyfriend work for about a month now. I've done the visiting, trying to keep Skype dates, text everything and he's just doing the bare minimum it seems. I just stop initiating everything, and he does keep Skype calls and texts some, but it's the bare minimum. He didn't care that I'm not coming to see him this weekend. It's cool if you don't want to do it anymore, but I'm just angry that he just won't say so. He ignores me and blows me off when I try to visit and has been shutting down when I ask him about his needs. This was both of our first relationships. I can't bear the stress anymore. He's a patient guy, but he has the resources to do something about it, it's an hour drive. I just don't feel like I'm worth it and that he's just taking advantage of me. I know I'm special and have done a lot for him and us, but will he ever?

[CrystalMinds]

If you don't feel good in your relationship anymore, if he's not treating you and respecting you like you deserve, I'm afraid it's best if you leave.

I would say talk to him about it, but if he keeps shutting off, you can't force your way in. You tried, he doesn't care. If I were in your situation I'd try to talk about it like 2 more times, and if it seems like he couldn't care less, I'd just say that he can *** off. You don't deserve this nor need this.

I know it's hard to do when you love someone, especially if it's your first relationship. But sometimes love isn't enough, especially not if the effort to make it together is coming just from your side.

Tell him how you feel, Skype/call/text/email, doesn't matter (though the best thing is Skype so you can see each other, and if he doesn't listen, mail it).

My point is, something I've learned and see all around me: if your boyfriend (or girlfriend) isn't treating you the way you deserve, or doesn't respect you or whatever, please, move on. Try to work on it first, because you don't give up on a relationship just like that. But if working isn't...working. I'd say it's best if you move on.

I hope I wasn't too rude or blunt, and I hope I helped because I know how you feel :)

[supervixxen]

yeah, I've talked to him twice about it. the first time he said he did want to be with me, and that he thought nothing was wrong. second time he said I needed to ease up,relax and try not to make everything so complicated and that our situation is "fine". I don't want to do the breaking up, maybe I should just disconnect myself as well.. no contact, space, whatever you wanna call it. you think he'll come around?

[CrystalMinds]

I can't predict his reaction. But my reaction would be: oh, how grown up.

Even though I would think about doing the same thing. Fact is: you can't keep contacting him when the effort isn't coming from his side. You could try to take less initiative and see if it comes from him. But what will you do when you don't hear him anymore and he doesn't notice the less contact?

[supervixxen]

at that point I'd already be moving on and focusing on something else. I know it sounds childish to do no contact, but it'll either show he cares and want to make this work, or I'll already be doing something else to stop and cry again.

[CrystalMinds]

Ok, you tried the talking, try the no-contact but if he doesn't show anything of emotion or interest, please, don't waste your time on him anymore :)

[supervixxen]

i'm already halfway out. I am DRAINED.

[CrystalMinds]

Yea well, relationships shouldn't be like that :)

Hope it works out for you, with or without him.. Keep us posted!

[Nadia1000]

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[themastaplan]

you need a hug and a dedicated boyfriend...

first thing is first - LDR are harder than most people think...you need to physically see them, in person, for full emotional effects...

its hard and takes work, doesn't seem like this ones gonna pull through here, sorry :(

take some time, concentrate on yourself, become independant again

nothing is more sexy than an independant women who can care for herself...give yourself some confidence, treat yourself to something nice!

and SMILEEEEEEEEEEEE : ) its contagious

[angelwithin]

i love this answer.

[themastaplan]

:)

[Lostsouldier]

I think the best thing you can do here is just break it off with him. If he is not putting forth any effort to show you the support and love you need its best to just end it. One of two things will happen, either you will see that he truly doesn't care and goes along with it. Or he will quickly change his ways to show you that he does care maybe he just isn't very good at showing it. If he resists losing you have a talk with him about the way he's been acting and how it makes you feel.

[Team_Xtreme_]

1st of all long distance relationships never work and 2, get rid asap!