I'm 22 but don't want an "adult" relationship... I want an innocent one.

[Anonymous]

I've never had a boyfriend, not even a young love in primary school. is it unreasonable to want to experience that young love, innocent relationship now that I'm 22? I just want a sweet guy to hang out with, maybe hold his hand and cuddle and little kisses. I don't want to be making out, fooling around, sleeping together or anything like that because I'm not really into that stuff. Would guys my age want the sweet relationship that I want?

[BellaBella12]

I'm the same as you! I told my boyfriend I don't want to do any more 'stuff' and would like to save those sort of things for inside marriage. He has found it difficult to stop and it has upset him, but he's finding it easier.

If a guy doesn't want to stay with you for a reason like this, then you know they aren't marriage material and you're wasting your time with them. (I always think of relationships as potential marriages. That way, if a relationship lasts that long, I won't end up with the wrong person).

[curiouschica]

I know how you feel believe me! I think if he's the right guy then he will respect you and be patient with you...maybe he'll be as inexperienced too...u never know. And if he doesn't seem willing to stick around,then all the better actually...he wasn't a match for u.

[helpha]

A guy your age will want sex after about 2-4 weeks, even if he's thinking about it from the very beginning. Maybe if you find a guy who is a bit inexperienced or shy he'll be less into sex and moving right into that stuff, or aguy who's really into you

[Asker]

2-4 weeks is so early! I'd maybe do it after a few years lol

[helpha]

well it depends on the guy, but at that age people want to have sex after a month or maybe two,thee at the very most. but believe me, once you get into an actual relationship you'll probably change your mind

[Asker]

I don't think I will change my mind

[helpha]

well then maybe you should find a mormon

[NMMan]

If that's how you feel, that's perfectly fine — but it would be best for all parties involved if you were very honest and up-front about that right from the start, so there's no mistaking your intentions. Otherwise, the guy may feel led on, or that you're not actually attracted to him.

[Asker]

So a guy will think I'm not attracted even if I want to hang out, cuddle and kiss him? Why?

[NMMan]

He'll understand that, certainly but eventually, down the road a ways, if he senses or discovers that you don't want to "go all the way with him", he'll likely think that he is the problem in one way or another. Hence my suggestion to make your feelings known on no heavy, intimate physical contact very early on.

[BCRanger10]

I would. "Adult relationship" doesn't necessarily mean sexual. It just means they want a mature relationship with each other and are trying to figure out what kind of a future they may have with each other. But yes, what you have mentioned are the things that I'm into as well.

[Asker]

Well I want a serious relationship, but not sexual. I want sweet & innocent.

[BCRanger10]

I know. So do I haha.

[rowfasho]

I don't think it's impossible? If you do find the right guy who respects you enough to hold off on sex and focus more on what you love to do together then that's a relationship that could ultimately lead to where you want it to be later on. Find things you share in common, don't buy in to what other people say on if you don't have sex you're missing out. Sex isn't everything you know. I actually like your way of starting things out, people like to rush into sex but it's the things that lead up to it which makes it that much better. Talking, flirting, hugging, holding hands, eventually kissing. That's what builds anticipation for that moment. I wish you the best of luck on finding a guy, don't try too hard cause you never know he just might be closer than you think. Go with the flow.

[rachellyjean13]

I'm in the same boat as you, although I'm only 20. I think its perfectly fine to only want those little things since you don't have much experience with guys. But most guys are going to want to go further then that because at that age they expect a lot of girls to have the experience, whether it be true or not. A guy can handle a relationship like you want, but they have to know that eventually it will go further.

[Asker]

Maybe I would go further if I got married, or been with him for years.

[rachellyjean13]

I understand that, but most guys aren't going to wait that long to get intimate. Are you scared of going further then kissing and hand holding?

[Asker]

Yes & also think sex is embarrassing because it's gross

[rachellyjean13]

If things naturally progress with a guy, you probably won't find intimate things such as sex to be gross. Why do you find it gross in the first place?

[Asker]

Just do. It's so animalistic & weird.

[rachellyjean13]

Lol. Its just a part of life :P

[Asker]

Yeah but it shouldn't be needed in a relationship. I just want a sweet relationship.

[Anonymous]

you should probably get a gay best friend, or a bi guy who leans to girls. because I don't know any straight guys in their early 20s that would put up with that. eventually they are gonna want more than puppy love elementary school style romance. basically find a guy who doesn't really like girls in that way

[Asker]

That's stupid, I want someone who will actually love me not just be with me to pretend they aren't gay.

[cristinaboss]

Honestly, at that age I don't think you're going to find a guy that only wants little kisses, to hold hands, and cuddle. I understand that you've never had a boyfriend, but most guys will be expecting to at least make out.

[Asker]

:( that sucks. That means I have to jump from no experience to an adult relationship... I wish I would of been able to experience an innocent relationship. It seems way sweeter...

[Konnour]

It's perfect in starting phase, shows that the girl is worth it and won't slut around with random people, but if you -never- gonna want sex, that's pretty much a deal breaker.

[Asker]

starting phase... how long is that? well I will have sex one day, probably if I get married. I'm just not very keen on the idea of it..

[Konnour]

There's not a defined line what is starting phase.. it's when you got to know each other, pretty much depends how open or shy are the people involved.

You probably have very low sex drive and maybe you'll have it in marriage only to get kids, that will ward off basically any guy as soon as he gonna find that out about you.

[Asker]

no I'm just not mature about sex yet, I still find it gross.

[iwish46]

I personally think that sounds great. That is the type of relationship I would like to have. *starts daydreaming*

[Asker]

Cool :) so you don't want an adult relationship either?

[iwish46]

No. I think the sweet relationship you described sounds great. Except there would be no maybes about holding hands...Actually I prefer interlocking arms. So that is one thing I would switch in your description of a sweet relationship :P

[And-Once-I-Was-Human]

it can start out that way for sure. after a while though most guys are going the want the "adult" aspects of the relationship to come into play =\ but maybe by then you'll be ready?

[Asker]

After how long? I'm not sure if I want to do any of that other stuff :/

[And-Once-I-Was-Human]

i'd say generally after the first 2-3 months is about the limit for a lot depending on how far you'd be willing to go before then. a lot of guys will want sex already within the first month if you're really clicking =\

[shyguy89]

well as long as you are an adult an you handle yours..all that other stuff should'nt be outta reach:)

[Asker]

What do you mean it shouldn't be out of reach?

[shyguy89]

as in its going be hard for two grown adults that are over 21 to just cuddle every night and do childish things..its not impossible is what I'm saying cause some guys want half of that but trust is built on more than cuddling and talking and watching movies..see I'm 23 and all the girls I've done this with convince me enough to where they bail from boredom you see what I'm getting at..

[Asker]

I don't think it would be hard. It would be nice. Trust is built on getting to know each other.

[shyguy89]

like I said before its not outta reach. keep reaching never :)

[Asker]

So you think the type of relationship I want is fine?

[shyguy89]

nope not really..but if its what you want maybe it will happen. things like relationships are created from nothing. Its hard to tell what it could be it could favor you or favor him who knows..i don't.lol

[Asker]

Why don't you think it's ok?

[shyguy89]

i think things like a relationship should just come natural..no script or roles..just what I feel between the person I'm meeting. no ground rules. cause it puts to much pressure on the guy to be that way..sounds to me like you want a guy friend not a boyfriend..i know I don't make the rules but you should'nt neither just let it happen like it has happened since the beginning of time spontaneously:)

[Asker]

No I want a boyfriend. You don't do those sweet things with a friend. I know I shouldn't make rules I just know I don't want to have sex.

[shyguy89]

well I think that not having sex should have been your first approach,and you could have left the other stuff out. cause any human will assume that if your touching them you want more even if you don't. just make sure any guy you date make him aware of what your limits are so you don't mislead him:)

[Anonymous]

That's sounds nice. I would enjoy it for a while, but I would want to eventually take it to the next level after we're comfortable enough to do so.

[Asker]

maybe after a few years I would but I don't think I would ever be comfortable with sex

[poiklp]

There are guys like that, but very hard to find, I recommend that you tell them this right whenthey "express a interest in you"

[Asker]

What do I say to them?

[Anonymous]

yeah I'm 24 and I don't have much experience with girls, I agree

[Asker]

So you just want an innocent relationship too? No sex ect

[Anonymous]

i'm 23 and never had a girlfriend, suicide has crossed my mind because of it

[Anonymous]

i hate how people say it is never too late for a relationship, never too late for dating, I don't see the logic in that

[Asker]

Why? Do you think I'm too old to start dating?

[Opinion Owner]

me and you both, because I'm 23 and never dated before, never been in a relationship

[Asker]

So you think that is too old? We still have the rest of our lives to date. Most people get married when they are about 30, we still have heaps of time.

[Opinion Owner]

because teens and 20's are the prime years

[Asker]

For what? And I'm still in my early 20's so I don't know what your talking about

[Opinion Owner]

i'm saying I don't see the point of dating in your 30's and beyond if you missed out on your teens and 20's

[Asker]

well that's stupid... you at least have another 50 years of life, and you want to spend all that time alone, never get married and never have children. Just because you never had a teenage relationship, which usually don't last anyway?

[Asker]

why do you think relationships in the teenage & young 20's is the most important relationships in life? I think the years when your old enough to have a family are more important... like I would be more upset if I was still single in my 30's. Because I would like to start a family when I'm around that age. Are you just upset because you think your a loser for being a virgin? well your not, having sex doesn't make someone cool. I would rather date a virgin.

[Opinion Owner]

because the teenage years and 20's is when we look are best, we are at our physical primes

[Asker]

So , relationships aren't about looking your best. It's about finding love and someone to share your life with, have a family of your own so your not alone in this world. Your really shallow, no wonder you've never met a girl who likes you yet.

[Asker]

By the way I don't think teenagers look the best. That's an awkward stage of life where our bodies change and most of the time it doesn't look good, I look way better at 22 then when I was 17. Men look better when they are about 25.

[Opinion Owner]

yeah but I will likely still be single when I reach my 30's

[Asker]

if you have that attitude you will

[Opinion Owner]

girls can have that attitude and it won't affect their chances

[Asker]

yes it does.

[Opinion Owner]

how do you know?

[Asker]

Because who would want to go out with a downer who's depressed all the time. Also it's not as easy as you think for girls to find a partner. I'm proof, never had a boyfriend. I'm not ugly or anything I'm just shy.

[Opinion Owner]

i'm surprised, shyness is supposed to hurt guys way more than girls

[Asker]

it affects girls aswell. I've been on dates but never been asked out more than twice by the same guy, I'm so shy on the dates the guys probably think I don't like them, especially when I pull away from a kiss because I'm too nervous.

[Opinion Owner]

well guys are expected to approach, make the first move and start conversation, initiate everything