Got into an argument about girlfriend being materialistic. Do I apologize?

[Zimbo113]

Well, my girlfriend lately has had her eyes set on this item on an online website yet she doesn't have any cash. Typically, she asks her parents for money but no go this time. Her birthday came around recently, and I got her a gold ring which barely fit her and she didn't really like it too terribly much so I returned it and told her I would get her another present.

So, she really wants this thing, and she brings its up 10 times a day. Sometimes she'll just act sad that she can't have it, or sometimes she will jokingly say "Oh if only my amazing boyfriend would get this for me I would be so happy."

So I told her I may get it for her one weekend. Unfortunately that weekend cost me a pretty penny so I pushed it back. This just made her nag me more and more saying I was pushing back my promise and always jokingly asking me for it. But, I've never let her down. I always keep my promises and deliver. But she kept nagging at me, her boyfriend, as if I was her parents or something.

So I told her to cut me some slack, and said "If I constantly asked you to buy me something, how would you feel? Probably as if I see you only as a giant wallet."

She got upset at this, told me she didn't see me like that at all. I felt bad and told her just to trust me because I always keep my promises and she, still upset, went to sleep.

Think what I said might have actually hit a nerve? Or should I apologize for what I said? I'm not sure...

[dreamerforever]

Honestly it reminds me of a parent trying to pacify a kid who wants this toy real bad. You're clearly trying your best. Maybe it's just a phase for her, she'll probably get over her fascination eventually. Meanwhile don't make any promises or get her hopes too high, so you can maybe surprise her with the gift later when she's least expecting. As for what you said, I'm sure it must've hurt her to hear all that coming from you so an apology is due on your part but disguise it as a candlelight dinner at home or an evening walk and just talk to her, ask her why is this thing so important to her, maybe it'll help clear things :)

[EntropicDecay]

Don't apologize.

You're not her caretaker, you're her boyfriend ! Nagging is incredibly annoying, and she'd better grow out of it, the sooner the better.

She seems to act like a child that throws fits when she doesn't get her way. She learned to do it in a second handed fashion. She has to grow up, we're not children anymore, and you don't have to spoil her with expensive presents.

You could talk with her if she's still upset, but I strongly suggest not backing down. It was a present this time, next time it'll be something else if her attitude doesn't change.

[Stacyzee]

Don't apologize for what you said. You have every right to feel the way that you do, because she is ungrateful and beyond spoiled.

Maybe no one has ever told her the "truth" about herself and because of you have maybe she will stand back and take a good look at herself.

If you want her to stop that behavior you have to let her know how serious you are about it.

[Prof_Don]

No apologies needed here imo.

Frankly she's being a brat, and you put your foot down and called out on her nonsensical whining.

What you did...she will respect you for in the long run, cauz now she knows that your mentally and emotionally strong to the point that her whiny manipulation is ineffective.

[honeyltsme]

Somehow I disagree with the others. On paper it looks bad but the devil is in the details about how she felt about what she said not the letter of it.

Also what was it during the weekend that cost you a pretty penny and how does that cost compare to that present she's asking

[why-makoto-kun]

Where do these girls come from? Tell her to get a freakin' job. I never got treated to something pricey like a gold ring from any of my exes and never expected such a thing, because it's incredibly lavish and expensive. What is this magical thing she wants, anyway? A $500 handbag? Blargh.

In all seriousness, I would have dumped her a while ago. That is so not cool. I agree with what dreamerforever said about it being like a parent-child dynamic. Ugh.

[bijinbijinbijin]

Do not apologize, if anything she should apologize for stressing you out with her nagging and the one time you speak up about it she acts like a baby and is ungrateful. There is nothing wrong at all with you speaking up. a person can only take so much

[Anonymous]

I think you should apologize, it was good that you voiced up but hearing something like that does hurt. She's not lying by her response either.

Girls can get quite caught up in admiring something they want to buy, even if they know they're not going to get it, they do tell quite a lot of people about it, see it as lust for an item even haha... sounds strange but yeah, girls can get quite obsessed with this kinda stuff, even if we do it just for fun.

[Opinion Owner]

Also I have to add, about the ring, jewelry can be a really personal thing for a girl so if you don't get her taste right, prepare for it to be rejected. It's better that she tell you than having to wear it. I've heard of girls doing this.

My ex got me a ring, it did look nice but the gemstone color didn't suit me at all, like it stands out in a bad way, I can get over that though but... the ring couldn't be resized to a smaller size than it was (already 3 times smaller and they wouldn't go lo

[Opinion Owner]

wer, it's really annoying for me to wear. I've always wanted a ring, I still want one, especially one that fits properly. It's annoying when it falls off at times. I'd like to wear it on a certain finger but I can't because that finger is small so yeah.. jewelry is really personal, it's better if you ask her to try to get a better understanding of what she likes.

[Opinion Owner]

The first time I heard that a friend had rejected a necklace gift from a guy, I was shocked, thought all the bad things I could about her but then later I realised, and after hearing from many other people that it's just too personal a thing to get wrong (if that person cares about it in the first place, there are some that don't).

[Babygurl2012]

Sounds like she's just using you omg if a guy EVER got me a gold ring just any ring I would be so happy and show it off no matter how ugly it really was because my man put a lot of thought and money into it if I was you I'd leave her a**

[FaceInTheCrowd]

Do you feel like a giant wallet ?

The truth always hits a nerve ... another gem of wisdom =)

[Zimbo113]

I feel like it sometimes. I know she cares about me, but she can sometimes be too selfish and demanding.

[FaceInTheCrowd]

It sounds like a pattern is beginning to emerge.

[bijinbijinbijin]

That why you need a grown woman and not a little girl... I'm sure everyone is curious though, what is the item that she wants you to buy for her?

[brandonc308]

Don't apologize and give in... it's what she wants...

[Hades]

You do realize she's completely manipulating you?

I'd bail if I were you.

[Hyrule]

Don't feel bad, you said the truth. She seems like an immature girl to be honest.

[Tweetumzz143]

dont ever apologize!

[Anonymous]

There z no need to a pologize