It seems conflicting that you should describe your relationship as both exclusive, and casual (to me anyway). Especially as Prophecy points out, for 9 months. I just don't see emotionally how you can feel casual about someone you've dating exclusively for 9 months. It's like saying I've been carrying a baby casually for 9 months, or I've been temping casually for 9 months (I guess you can say you are casual about a temp job, but I think you would have made up your mind whether the job is right for you or not by 9 months).
On top of that, you use the word "I'm afraid that...". Hmm if it doesn't sound right, and you don't feel right, and you still haven't asked him about it - I'd say you better do something about it directly or whatever the problem is, it will only get worse not better.
"I never asked him anything about it."
That, so much that!
By not saying anything, does that mean that you're OK with whatever he chooses?
Also, what does "casually dating exclusively" mean?
"Do I take this as a deal breaker or just wait until it happens or doesn't happen?"
What are you using to judge this future? Aren't there more options? Do they not count?
What's your method to figure out what to do?
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First of all, you don't make things that haven't happened yet into a problem.Doing that would be just weird.
Maybe he wants his b-day to be a guy-thing? Not uncommon.
listen, when it comes to serious relationships I'm all about doing it slow, but man, 9 months and you're still just casual? not looking good.
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