My girlfriend being unfair,and acting crazy

[lonzen]

Hello everyone,

I love my girlfriend and she loves me too.She has a lot of things going on right now,school problems,family issues, she really has a lot on her plate,and she has told me recently that she feels very overwhelmed and depressed , and I totally understand her and I try to be there for her.

This morning,she went off on me,i said something she didn't like it and she completely lost it. She told me that I don't know what it is like to have to work hard for everything, to have nobody to support you, she was referring to the fact that my parents support me financially for everything, and I never have to worry about tuition, or having to work while I am in school.

She said that I don't understand her,that I judge how she handles things and that all that is because I have everything so easy, that I should leave her alone,and give her peace.

She works to support herself, and also she gives money to help her family, even though she is still in school. I understand that she is very stressed, but don't see why she had to make those arguments, I felt like she was attacking me, so I just left her place and I don't want to talk to her right now.

What am I suppose to do?Did I overreact? Please help

[rougecerise]

Sometimes people take out their anger on those that are closest to them. Unfortunately that's you right now.

I know that when I get overwhelmed that I sometimes take out my stresses on my husband, and I always feel awful after.

I'm sure she didn't really mean everything she said, but sometimes an apology goes a long way. If you apologize, just say, "I'm sorry, I love you." That doesn't mean that it's your fault, but that you love her enough to say that you're sorry that she's going through this and you want to help.

With women, an apology goes a long way. Sometimes when women hear an apology, they feel like they are being heard. I know it doesn't really make logical sense, but most times women don't. I say that as a woman.

Just be there for her, and listen. It's all you can do. She just sounds like she's really frustrated right now and doesn't know how to handle it all.

Good Luck!

[Charisa1257]

You should go apologize. No I'm not saying that because I'm a girl, I'm saying that because I can understand where she is coming from. Financial struggles can take grand tolls on ones life especially if the person feels they have no one other than themselves to support them. If you said something that hurt her during a time in which she is struggling to achieve and do the same things you are getting so easily, it will most likely trigger her to feel attacked. From her point of view, there should be no judgement passed towards her unless you have the ability to truly relate to her situation. So yes I do think you have over reacted, you just need to keep in mind that if she is someone you care about, sometimes you have to put yourself in her shoes. In my opinion that fight was her cry of help to you, so you could see that she just wants you to understand and be more sympathetic towards her situation.

[lonzen]

I didn't really say anything that was hurtful, she just took it the wrong way, and felt like I was judging her and I was really just giving an opinion. Every time something happens she thinks I can't understand her because I never went through the same thing.,but I don't think that is true I understand that she is struggling but she doesn't need to attack me. I will contact her tomorrow.

Thank you very much for your input

[zeddy]

Well not really. You had every right to be annoyed. But like you said she has a lot on her plate. She might not realize it now, but just being there for her even if you'd had an argument helps. She's lucky to have you to stick by her. Give her time and apologize to her, even if you think she's in the wrong. Sounds like everything is just getting to her.

[lonzen]

Thank you for your input. I don't know if I can apologize to her now, because I am also upset at the moment. Just because she has a lot going on, doesn't give her the right to attack me. But I understand what you are saying, and tomorrow I will call her in the morning,and hopefully she will be in a better mood.

[zeddy]

Yeah good idea, she just need time to get her head round things :)