My girlfriend sent naked pics to other guys?

[Anonymous]

Basically , my girlfriend and I had trouble and I was feeling bad in our relationship ( we didn't talk , and I felt sad and I was doubting our relationship)

She saw a conversation of me and a girl-friend about my doubts.

Of course she was very hurt , but she didn't talk to me about it.

She made me sexy pics and a striptease video , but she sent it als o to other guys ( random guys , not guys she really knows) to ask if I would be happy with it and if she looks good. She stated in the conversations how much she loves me and that she wants me to only have the best , and she was very much doubting in herself.

In a way I understand she must have been insecure , and probably blaming her appearance for my sadness... But what was she hoping to achieve ?

long story short : I found out , I broke up with her.

We are talking again and we seemed to have managed to build up a good relationship again and to overcome our communicationproblem wich made our relationship bad.

But now I'm still stuck with what she did , and I find it very hard to move on and try again with her... I love her a lot , but I'm afraid of that behavior for the future...

what do you girls and guys think , how to deal with it ?

Updates

+1 y

She says it was to know if I was happy with her looks.

[dollme777]

Im sorry to say this but this girl is very immature and dumb, and I m happy you broke it off with her. 1. your wrong for texting your ex about your girlfriend problems I would be pist as hell, and probably break up with you. You should never do that again. 2. She is dumb and immature for the fact that she sent sexy pictures, and a strip tease to all these other guys that makes her look like a idiot. A women would have just voiced her opinion to you on how she felt about the situation. Now if you are a mature guy you don't need this , and you already said that that its hard for you to move on after what she did well maybe you should just got with your gut feeling and move on.

[Asker]

she wasn't my ex , she was my best friends girl friend ;-) and we had the communication problem , partly because she was depending financially on me , so she was afraid to voice her opinions I suppose. But yeah it's a huge red falg waving in front of my eyes , although I love her...

[Asker]

flag*

[dollme777]

Well ex or her friend that is a no no. If you love her stay but truthfully you can always find somebody else to love. That is not depending on you financially, and is not afraid to voice her opinion. Mature women are sometimes afraid to voice there opinion but they don't do idiotic downgrading things such as what she did.

[Asker]

no not my ex's friend , My best friend ( a guy) has a girlfriend ( a girl ) , I was talking to her :) but yeah I should have talked with MY girlfriend instead of avoiding the discussion... And yeah I can find someone else... in some time.. But it's not easy to just say , okay bye to someone you still love

[dollme777]

i know its not easy, and if you love her stay work it out but if you don't see yourself with her 10 years from now really what the point its wasted time really. If you are not 100 percent happy its wasted time. I've been there before that's why I'm saying this. And I don't waste my time anymore if I'm not really happy or I don't really see myself with the person for the long run you can still love that person but it keeps going the way its going it will dry up eventually anyway.

[Anonymous]

I know how you feel, well sort of. My ex-boyfriend and I dated for one year. Then I found dirty messages that he sent to he female "friend." He begged me to gave him another chance and I tried to be couldn't, because I couldn't get over what happened. So I broke up with him.

You have a right to talk to a friend of yours if you are having doubts about a relationship. Did you say anymore in that message? Was it dirty? If not, your actions were OK, I think. I think what she did was unacceptable. If I were you, I wouldn't be able to trust her again...ever. Why live your life tortured? It's not worth it. My advice would be to end it

[Asker]

no , of course not , I would never do such things while being in a relationship , and especially not to the girlfriend of my best friend !

It's indeed hard to trust her again... I'm trying to work on it though , and figure things out. She says I'm free to move on , and I am , but I do care about her

[Opinion Owner]

She said you are free to move on? Well, she obviously isn't fighting for you! Do you want to be with someone who does care if you leave? After I found the dirty messages, my ex was begging me to give him another chance. I tried for almost 2 months...I seriously tried. But every time he texted someone, was on his computer or went out to see friends, I was a nervous wreck! I was afraid he was going to do it again, or worse...physically cheat. You SERIOUSLY need to be honest with yourself.

[Opinion Owner]

It's OK to let her go. You will be OK and will meet someone better. I promise.

[Asker]

well she is of course begging me , but she says I'm not obligated to , I'm a free man. ( which I like , I like her to be independent ) She loves me a lot and cares a lot about me , no doubt there. I don't think she'll do anything stupid like that again - but who knows...

[Asker]

It just really sucks a lot. We talk great now , we don't spend one hour without chatting/skype/Facebook/text/phonecall - it's crazy since we broke up , and talked things through everything is really nice - but the only thing holding me back is this story which happend

[Opinion Owner]

Well, that's something that you will not be able to get over and for good reason. She broke your trust. Once trust is gone in a relationship, nothing else is left. I left my ex just for that reason. Everything else was great for one year. And all I ever saw was when he sent these messages. For me, one time is enough. It said a lot about his character and I didn't want to waste my time

[Opinion Owner]

Trust your gut feeling...what does it say to you?

[Asker]

my gut feels confused haha :D

[Opinion Owner]

Well, if you are even wondering if you can trust her, that is a problem

[Jade4]

Oh wow. Well you did the right thing. Just by the way I wouldn't worry about future problems with this issue because firstly anyone sending naked stuff to multiple guys is seriously stupid, since they can do anything with it including post it on the Internet, most girls know this. Secondly disguising it as getting an approval rating is even more stupid since no one will believe that. However getting back with her? No way, she sent stuff to guys and lied about why, well she might have been hurt? Well here's an idea talk to you about it, there's no excuse for this. Don't get back together. Your first instinct, to go was right

[Anonymous]

Look man...the next step is her cheating and having sex with one of these random guys. If your not telling her how beautiful she is and showing your attacted to her and want her, you need to do that ASAP. If you are, then she wants attention from multiple guys and is basically is the cheating kind and you need to cut her off and break up. If your neglecting her its partly your fault and its partly hers for reacting in that kinda way rather than communicating with you. If its the latter, then she's a player and you need to cut it off before she seriously fucks you over. Been there done that, it sucks. And yes in this day and age, there are some women out there that play men.

[Asker]

I wasn't giving her attention , I told her she was beautiful , but inside I felt sad. We didn't have the relationship I dreamed of , the communication between us was terrible , so I understand why she did it

[Opinion Owner]

I take it you all broke up? But if you didint or think about getting back together, why not try to work on it and fix it? Its just communication. Its essential. If something bothers you, speak up. If something bothers her, she should speak up. When this stuff isn't discussed, things get confusing and both parties get insecure and the relationship fails. And it isn't just saying she's beautiful , its also loving and appreciating her as a person and showing that. You gotta mean it if you care.

[Asker]

yeah , that's what we are doing now , and it's great :) it really is , I'm just stuck with the above in the back of my head... :s

[Opinion Owner]

You can only move foward, learn your lessons from the past but otherwise forget the past and be a better guy moving forward. Every now and then, take a step back from it all and think how special that person is to you. If she really is special, that will help motivate you to show you really do. If your just like meh we re just kinda together then you shouldn't be together. And always compliment her in ways your mean it never just make up compliments.

[martyfellow]

Almost always, she'll act out again in similar ways at the first sign of any stress in your relationship.

I'd stay broken up if I were you, until the time when you can depend on her not to fold up under pressure.

[Asker]

Yeah , it's my biggest fear... I'm trying to get her to think about why she did things , how she came to her actions and to really elaborate the process behind it. So she can understand it for herself and avoid it... It's very sad because I see how much she loves me , and it's a lot

[martyfellow]

She has time to grow up still, but a little professional help wouldn't hurt.

[Asker]

Yeah , it's something to really consider

[martyfellow]

Good luck in the New Year!

[martyfellow]

Update: 'The excuse is worse than the crime', as they say!

[standUP]

Any person that sends pics to more than one person is searching for some sort of fulfillment that has nothing to do with who ever is in her life. But what is lacking within her soul.

You had doubts before this that drew you away as well.

So how do you deal with it? You break up with her she is not something you need and sounds like you already know this.

[teasegirl]

Damn

[Prof_Don]

You being distant towards her planted seeds of doubt and insecurity in her...you're not completely blameless here, Bro.

[Asker]

I know, I'm not implying that at all - but it doesn't mean she had no other choice than to do what she did of course...

[Anonymous]

personaly for me I never go well with second chances...at all. So I would just be friends with her

[Anonymous]

This doesn't sound like a good situation. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Wow she's childish and vindictive

Leave her