Are you struggling in your social life? You feel like you’re always the one who doesn’t know what to say and how to act around people? You find yourself confused about how you should act, what you should do in social situations? This can leave you feeling very uncomfortable in social events,, so you find yourself totally lost and confused, not knowing what to say or what to do.
If you’re having this kind of issue, it’s time for a change don’t you think? This is an in-depth series of articles that will show you how to learn social skills even if you don’t know anything about the subject. What are we waiting for? Let’s start with the basic things that you need to understand in order to build your social skills
What is social conditioning ?
First of all, you need to know that every social interaction that you see is ruled by some kind of ‘rules ‘that’s called social conditioning. Social conditioning is a set of rules that society uses to dictate how people behave and what they should say and when to say it. That’s why somethings appear to be ‘normal’ whereas other things seem to be ‘weird’, that’s because anything or anyone who doesn’t act by these rules is rejected.
Here’s an example
You can clearly see this when someone has a different type of mentality compared to others in the same social group. When this happens, that one person who’s a bit different is immediately rejected by the others, and that’s because they are socially conditioned to automatically assume that any change in what they consider to be the norm is something that’s ‘bad’ or ‘weird’ or any other awful adjective that you can think of.
The trick with this is that all of the things that you have been conditionned to do seem like it’s the ‘correct’ way of doing things, that’s because you were unconsciously trained to believe that it is. Think of it this way ,these ‘norms’ are just a set of rules that were invented by people just like you before you were born, so when you’re young, all you see is this only way of thinking, and doing things in a certain way that everyone agrees on. That doesn’t mean that it’s the proper way of doing things, it just means that a lot of people are doing it.
Maybe you’re the kind of person who’s always told that he’s weird, awkward……..etc. You probably thought that something was wrong with you, I mean how can all these people be wrong, right? Well, they can all be wrong because they use the same mechanism to judge you, which is social conditioning. The reason so many people may tell you that you’re weird is because you don’t follow the rules established by society, so when they see that you’re not like anything they’ve seen before, they assume that you’re the one who’s wrong simply because they have the advantage of being in large numbers. while you’re the only exception to the rule.
Why it’s important to know this ?
Learning about it helps you to understand how social interactions really work, and why you’re not really good at them. When you realize that it’s all just a bunch of principles that are unconsciously applied by the majority of people, you can then become more aware of how you react, because you now understand the rules. It’s like playing a game, you can’t play unless you know the rules, right?
That’s the first step to effectively aquire social skills. Now you have a big advantage over other people, you now know how the game works, and that will allow you to accurately predict other’s reactions and thoughts because you know the thinking pattern behind the group mentality, in other words you know why people think the way they do.
In the next part, we’ll get to the serious stuff, see you later :)
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